Oh Very Young
by starbuckmeggie
Summary: You're only young once.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Oh Very Young

Rating: PG to PG-13, depending on my mood.

Spoilers: None. Definitely AU.

Archive: You want it, you got it.

Feedback: Is the Pope Catholic?

Disclaimer: They're not mine. Well, actually, these versions kinda are, but essentially, they're not mine. However, if someone wants to get me the world's best Christmas present...

Author's Notes: A few up here this time, just to explain the story. It's AU. But, I promise it'll be Carby. Have a little faith. I've had this idea since before season 9, and I'm finally writing it. It's Carter, Abby, and Susan in high school, if they were the same age and knew each other. There will be a minimal amount of other ER characters in the story because I don't want it to get all cutsey, "we all knew each other in school and now we work together" or whatever. Just give it a shot.

* * *

_Okay, one day down. Three years to go. It won't be so bad_, Abby thought to herself. _I can make it_. She sighed and looked around. _Too bad I have no idea how to get home_.

She had ridden the bus to school this morning, and had tried to pay attention to where they were going, but it had been fairly useless–school buses always seemed to take the most roundabout way of getting from one place to another that she had completely lost track of where she was going. And, of course, she'd managed to miss the bus after school. Not only had she been stuck at her locker for a good ten minutes, trying to get it to open, but when she finally got down to the buses, she couldn't remember which one was hers. She knew there was a five, a seven, and a one in it somewhere, but what she didn't know was the order the number went in. There had been a bus 157, bus 175, bus 571, and bus 715. So before she could figure it out, they'd all left without her. And while she knew she didn't live that far from school, she had no idea which direction she was supposed to go.

_Ah, to hell with it_. She sat on a stone wall at the edge of the parking lot, dug through her bookbag, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. The place had pretty much cleared out by now. Even the teachers and the principal had fled the building, so there was no one around to care if she was smoking. She knew she'd have to figure out how to get home eventually–her brother Eric couldn't be alone for that long–but she just needed a moment to think.

It really wasn't a bad school, all things considered. It wasn't as if she'd been shunned the moment she walked through the doors. People had been fairly nice to her, and she'd managed to make it through the day with dropping her books or an article of clothing falling off. It was just that by the time you reached the tenth grade, everyone had already known each other for at least ten years. Bonds had been formed, cliques ran rampant. There was nothing she could do to change that. All she could do was learn to exist without friends, and survive until graduation day. No problem.

"Hi."

Abby jumped, then turned around, startled. She definitely hadn't been expecting any visitors. But there stood two people–a boy and a girl. The girl was smiling at her, and the boy was standing slightly behind her, shuffling his feet.

The girl seemed to be expecting an answer, so Abby finally managed to say, "Hi," in return.

"I'm Susan Lewis," the girl offered, sticking her hand out for Abby to shake. Somewhat reluctantly, she dragged herself to a standing position so she could meet these people face to face. Once upright, she wasn't terribly surprised to see that even Susan Lewis was taller than her. _Everyone's taller than me_, she thought irritably. _Even my little brother's on his way to be being taller than me, so why not this girl, too?_

Abby took one last drag from her cigarette before flicking it somewhere behind her, then shook Susan's hand. "Abby Wyczenski."

"I know. We have a couple of classes together."

Abby released Susan's hand, surprised that this girl remembered that–she certainly hadn't noticed anyone specific all day. "We do?"

"Yep. English and Biology. First and last class of the day."

Abby nodded. There wasn't much you could say in response to that. Just then, the guy stuck his hand out, too. "John Carter."

Returning the gesture, she simply said, "Nice to meet you."

"We have a couple of classes together, too. Algebra II and Art."

"Are you good at math?" Abby asked.

He shrugged. "I'm okay at it, I guess."

She nodded. "Well, I'm going to sit next to you during tests, then."

It took him a moment, but then he grinned, catching onto the joke she was trying to make. And Abby couldn't help but notice just how cute this guy really was.

"So, what're you doing out here?" Susan asked. "Waiting for your ride?"

"Actually...I managed to miss my bus. I couldn't remember what my bus number was." And she braced herself, waiting to be mocked.

Instead, Susan just nodded. "I hear that. I always seem to have trouble with that, too, and I've been riding the same bus for a while now. That's why I usually catch a ride with John."

Abby looked at him, interested. _Older guy?_ "You drive?"

"What? Oh. No, I just have a ride to and from school every day. I don't live in this district, so the buses won't pick me up."

"If you don't live around here, why go to school here? I mean, I'm sure there are schools around your general area."

Susan and John just looked at each other and grinned. "Long story," Susan said. "I'll explain it to you later. So, where is it that you live? I imagine that we could probably give you a ride home."

"Yeah, I don't think it would be a problem," John said. "We can't exactly leave you stranded out here, can we? That's just uncouth."

Abby couldn't help but laugh. _What fifteen year old says_ uncouth John just smiled and shook his head at himself.

"Uncouth?" Susan asked, laughing as well. "Really? Did you learn a new word today? Was your first day back at school not a complete waste? I'm very proud of you."

"Ah, bite me. Just...bite me."

"Another brilliant comeback from John Carter, everyone."

Abby simply watched in amazement. By the way these two acted with each other, she was guessing, and she figured it was probably a good guess, that these two had known each other for quite some time. Maybe even since birth.

"So, Abby, where are you located?" Susan asked again.

"Um..." She had to think about it for a few moments. Her new address wasn't yet second nature to her. "1151 Chestnut Drive."

"No kidding! I live on Chestnut Drive, too!" Susan exclaimed. "I'm 1143. I didn't know that was you moving in last week. It'll be no problem to give you a lift."

"I really appreciate it. I can't remember which direction it's in, otherwise I would have walked."

"Yeah, it's not too far from here, but I'm lazy, so I prefer being chauffered around." With that, the trio turned around and headed back toward the school to wait.

"Why are you two still here, if you don't mind me asking."

"Yes, Abby, I mind deeply," Susan answered.

Abby paused slightly. Was she joking, or did this girl run hot and cold?

"I'm joking, Abby. Just joking. I forgot we don't know each other well enough yet for me to joke with you like that."

"Susan, I've known you most of my life and I _still_ don't get half of your jokes. Maybe it's not so much that we don't get them, but that you have a really lame sense of humor." Without waiting for a response, he answered Abby's question. "My ride got a little caught in traffic. He'll be here any minute."

"I don't have a lame sense of humor. Maybe it's just more sophisticated than yours," Susan blurted out.

"Right. Or maybe you have a lame sense of humor."

Just then, a tinny, mechanical version of some song started playing, and Susan looked at John. "Excuse me, but I think your ass is ringing."

"I'd be a little nicer to me if I were you. How else are you going to get home?"

Susan had no response for that, so she ignored him while he stepped a few feet away to answer his cell phone, then sat down on the curb next to Abby. "I probably shouldn't be asking you this since I don't know you that well yet, and it might start us off on the wrong foot, but, uh...you smoke?"

Abby sighed. "Yeah."

"I mean, you are fifteen, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then...?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Stress, I suppose. I know it's bad for me and I know it's a disgusting habit, but I've found no reason to quit at the moment. If it makes you feel any better, the most I've ever had is five in one day. I usually max out at two."

"Hey, I can't tell you how to lead your life."

This surprised Abby. The few people at her old school who had known that she smoked from time to time were constantly lecturing her about the hazards of the habit, which usually made want to smoke all the more, just to piss them off. But Susan had just seemed to be curious.

Just then, John plopped down next to them, hanging up the phone and rolling his eyes.

"Who was it?" Susan asked.

"My parents. They just wanted to let me know that they won't be home for dinner, blah blah blah. You know the story."

Susan smiled sympathetically. "Well, if you get bored, you know who to call."

The sound of gravel crunching made the three of them look up, and Abby was surprised to see a limo pulling up in front of them. She was even more surprised when the other two stood up and opened the back door. Susan turned around and looked at Abby. "You coming?"

"What? Seriously? This is the ride we've been waiting for?"

Susan looked at her questioningly. "Yeah, this is it. Why?"

Abby shrugged, standing up and going to peer in through the open door. "I figured it was another joke of yours that I didn't get."

John threw his head back and laughed. "I can tell we're going to be great friends, Abby."

* * *

Author's Notes: Well, this is certainly different, isn't it? Give me love people. I'm not going to have review ransoms or anything like that, or give you the "want more? review me" thing. I'm a firm believer in writing for yourself, not what you're going to get from people for writing. However, I just want to know if people find this entertaining in the slightest. I also don't want to waste space with something people aren't going to read. Anyway, shout outs...C-Dwg, Alley-  
Cat...I'm so glad you never put any pressure on me to write. As always, the Whore rocks. Also, if this story winds up taking off, I'm going to have to stop with the author's notes at the end every time, aren't I? sighs


	2. Chapter 2

all the info's the same as before...no need to say it all again. Though, there is an additional disclaimer.

Disclaimer: For future and present reference, so I don't get sued or something ridiculous...I also don't own any TV show, movie, restaurant, book, song, blah blah etc that has been or will be mentioned in this story. Okie day?

* * *

"So, what's the story with you and John?" Abby asked the next morning, settling down next to Susan on the bus.

"It's quite simple, really. See, it's the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls–"

Abby, who had known Susan for a total of about 20 hours now, was already getting used to the girl's off-beat sense of humor. "Susan..." she groaned.

Susan grinned and shrugged. "Not a whole lot to tell. We met by accident, I guess. When we were five, just before we started kindergarten. We were at the same park, playing in the same sandbox, and I guess we bonded. Not that bonding at that age takes a whole hell of a lot. He had the good graham crackers, you know? Before we left the park, we made our parents exchange numbers so we could play again, played in his backyard a few times before school started, and went our separate ways...briefly. I was in the same school system I'm in now, but he was supposed to go to private school. Well, he did, for a couple of weeks, until we got together one weekend and I told him about how great public school was, yadda yadda yadda. He whined to his parents until they couldn't stand it anymore, and they enrolled him in my elementary school. We've been partners in crime ever since. I mean, I'm sure there's more to it than that, at least from his parents' point of view, but that's all I know."

Abby couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Private school, huh? Yeah, I kinda figured he must have some sort of money, judging by the limo that he calls his 'ride.'"

"Yeah, that is a pretty big tip off. Speaking of which, I can't believe you wanted to ride the bus this morning. Wouldn't you rather pull up to school in a limo or Town Car than a bus?"

"I felt weird bumming a ride off of him this early on. Besides, I probably need to give my mom some time to get used to the idea of me hitching a ride with someone. You didn't have to ride with me, though. It's okay."

"Yeah, I know. But John's not new to the school. You are. And I don't imagine it's any fun riding the bus by yourself. And since we're neighbors, it's not really that much of a hassle. I just hope we don't make a habit out of this," Susan added with a wink.

Abby paused, unsure of how to broach the next topic. "So...have you two ever, you know...dated?"

"Ewww! You're kidding, right? That'd be, like, incest. I've known him since I was old enough to know which side of the playpen smelled the worst. Dating him would just be...too weird." Susan looked at her, as though something was clicking in her mind. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Curious, I guess."

"You interested?"

"Of course I'm interested. I asked, didn't I? Asking generally implies interest in the topic."

"No, I mean, are you interested in John?"

"What? How can I be interested in the guy? I don't even know him. I spent, what? Three hours with you guys last night?"

"So what? You don't have to know someone to be interested. That's what being interested is all about." Susan nudged her and waggled her eyebrows. "Come on. You can tell me."

Abby huffed out a mock-irritated sigh. "Honestly, Susan, I don't know. He's cute, yeah, but that's about all I can say about him at the moment. He didn't say much last night."

"That's probably because the two of us monopolized the conversation. That's what happens when you put two teenage girls together in the same room, though." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "You think he's cute?"

Abby buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "Dude, it's too early in the morning to be having this discussion. I don't even have any caffeine in my system yet."

Susan grabbed Abby's shoulder and pulled her back into a more upright position. "No, seriously. I've never really thought about it before. He's always kinda been...John to me."

"Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely an attractive guy. He's nice, too, so that helps."

"Hmm. Interesting."

"What's interesting?"

"Having a different perspective."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes. _Okay, he's cute, but I established that the first moment I saw him. It's a bit early to be thinking about dating him. I really don't even know if I like him. And I don't know if Susan's teasing me about this, or if she thinks something could actually happen._ Abby looked at her newfound friend out of the corner of her eye. _Give it some time. Wait until you've known this guy for longer than a day before you make any plans for the future._

"You know," Susan said, shaking Abby out of her thoughts. "If you do like him, I could always try to find out if he likes you, too. We do have that kind of relationship where we can talk about that kind of thing."

"Susan, really...I'm starting my second day at a new school. I just want to get to know people for now. I don't think I'm looking to date anyone yet."

She shrugged. "Okay. I can't force you to like him. But we do hang out a lot, so if you at least want to get to know him, as a friend," she added, before Abby could make any objections, "then you're welcome to chill out with us. I mean, it's not as if we do something terribly exciting every day, but we have fun."

"What do you guys do?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, that probably came out wrong. I just meant, what do you guys do when you hang out?"

"Homework, sometimes, if it's during the school year. Watch TV or movies. Go swimming, while it's warm. He has a pool, you know."

Abby shook her head. "No, I didn't know."

"Yeah, it's pretty nice. Our options are pretty limited, though, since neither of us can drive yet, and won't be able to drive for a while. We're pretty much restricted to my house or his house. Except on weekends, when we can usually talk someone into taking us somewhere. But even then, it's just the mall or a bookstore or something like that. Speaking of driving, though, when's your birthday?"

Abby just blinked, trying to keep up. "Nice transition. January tenth."

"Awesome! You'll be the first of us who can drive."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to have a car I can drive."

Susan just waved her hand. "The car I'm not worried about. John's family has quite a few cars. We just need a licensed driver. My birthday's not 'til March, and John's isn't until the end of May. And two learner's permits do not equal a whole license."

"Watch **Clueless** much?"

Susan grinned. "Once or twice. I'm guessing you've seen it before, if you caught the reference."

"Uh-uh. I'm pleading the fifth on that one. That's my personal business."

"I like to make John watch it. He always whines about how it's a chick flick, but then he gets more engrossed in it than I do. He could probably quote the entire movie, if the need ever arose."

Abby grinned in return. "I think the need should arise. I don't know how we could manage it, but the opportunity should definitely present itself in the near future."

"Oh, there's one little quirk you should know about us. We have sleepovers. I know what you're thinking, but they stole the idea from us."

"Huh? Who stole the idea?"

"You've seen **Dawson's Creek**, haven't you?"

"Ohhhh. Yeah, I've seen it."

"Well, we do that. But we did that long before that show ever reared its ugly head. And we don't have the whole Dawson-Joey sexual tension thing going, either. I don't get insanely jealous when he goes out with another girl, and he doesn't randomly see me in a new light and want to date me. We just wind up falling asleep. Our parents are used to it by now, though. It started off with a mid-afternoon nap here and there, and it just kind of escalated. I think we've been friends too long for anyone to worry about something insidious happening."

Abby was slightly impressed. "Your parents really let you get away with that?"

"Well, we're not really getting away with anything, but yeah, they do. His bed's really comfortable, though. And huge. I think it's a king size. Definitely room for the three of us, should we manage to not send you running off into the sunset."

"I don't know if I'm ready for co-ed sleepovers just yet."

"Totally understandable. I'd probably find it weird if I was in your position, too. Hell, you probably think it's a little weird how I'm telling you all of this and inviting you join in on all of our reindeer games."

"I don't know if I find it weird so much as...unexpected."

"Yeah, I can see that. Most people who've known each other for so long don't usually let new people into the 'fold,' so to speak. I don't know. You're just You're easy to talk to, and you have a kind of dry sense of humor, which works well with the two of us. Not to mention that it's nice to have someone else to talk to. I don't know if John and I have ever run out of things to say to each other, but you bring a new dimension to it all. If I am being pushy, let me know."

"No, it's not that." Abby let out a sigh and rested her head against the seat. "Yesterday, I was just hoping to make it to graduation. I didn't think anyone would really want to make the effort to get to know someone new this late in the game. And today, I have a couple of people who want to spend time with me. It's a little disconcerting, but not in a bad way."

"There's a good way to be disconcerted?"

"As of this moment, yes."

"And since when do you make all the rules?"

"Since I'm the oldest," Abby answered, turning her head slightly to give Susan a superior look.

"Oh, you're gonna play that card, are you? I see how it is."

"Hey, it's the only card I have right now. The best thing about the 'I'm older' card is that I can use it more than once."

"True that. And we'll be at your mercy once you get your license." Just then, the bus started to slow down as their high school came into view and Susan let out an irritated sigh. "Man, if I had a dollar for every day I came here...well, I'd only have about $180, but it's still a pretty decent chunk of change. But look!" Susan pointed toward the main entrance of the school. "There's John, and it looks like he has a bag of food. I think it's...do you see golden arches?"

"I see golden arches."

"The boy is a god. Unless he only got food for himself. In which case, I shall shun him all day until he has learned his lesson."

"And then what?"

Susan pretended to look confused. "'And then what?' You mean, I'm supposed to have some kind of plan beyond the shunning? I thought the shunning was pretty good."

"I think it only sounds good because you're calling it 'shunning.' That's right up there with the 'uncouth' John pulled on us yesterday."

"I don't think anything could be 'uncouth.' That was a new one, even to me."

"Maybe he really is learning some new words this year."

Susan laughed as they made their way off the bus. "See? This is why I like you, Abby. You give as good as you get."

"My wit has cat-like reflexes. Sadly, sometimes it's like a declawed cat but...it works for me."

"Morning, ladies," John called, sauntering over to them. "How was public transportation?"

Susan ignored the comment and held out her hand. "Hand over the bag, and no one gets hurt."

"What, am I supposed to provide you with meals, now? Puh. Feed yourself."

"Johhhhhn."

"Fine, fine." He dug through the bag, then pulled out a little sandwich. "Sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle. Hashbrown's in the bag. And, Abby."

She was a little startled. "Yes?"

"I didn't know what you liked, so I just got a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and a hash brown. That cool?"

"Yeah, more than cool. Especially since you didn't have to buy me anything at all."

"Well, what kind of person would I be if I brought breakfast for one person, but not the other? That's just tacky."

"Your mom's tacky," Susan mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Yeah, that's what I said to your mom last night. Now be quiet and eat."

Abby was digging around in her pockets. "I don't think I have any extra money on me, but I'll pay you back after school, okay?"

"It's on the house."

"No, it's okay..."

"Really, don't worry about it. It's just breakfast. I'm known for doing this kind of thing."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"It just doesn't seem fair that you bought me breakfast and I've got a whole lot of nothing in return."

"Abby, really. It's not that big of a deal. I'm not even gonna go all **Godfather** on you and ask that you return the favor one day. But for future reference, does B.E.C. work for you?"

"B.E.C..." Abby asked, puzzled for a moment before she understood the abbreviation. "Oh. Yeah, it works. Thank you."

"No problem."

"It took you that long to work out B.E.C?" Susan asked teasingly, her mouth a little less full this time. "Come on, Abby..."

"Hey, I told you that I haven't had any caffeine yet. You can't expect great things from me without caffeine," Abby told her, sticking her nose in the air.

"Oh, if only caffeine could help Susan give us great things..."

"Shut up!" Susan exclaimed, pushing John's shoulder.

"Clever. I've never heard 'shut up' before. You've left me speechless."

"Yeah, well..." she looked around and noticed that Abby was heading up the stairs already. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"You guys are too lame for my game," Abby called down to them. "Even without caffeine I can banter better than that." Still, she paused and waited for them to catch up. But before any of them could attempt more banter, the first bell rang, and a wave of students came rushing at the door.

"Crap," Susan muttered, then grabbed Abby's arm. "Let's go. I'll see you in history, John. We can't be late." She then put her mouth closer to Abby's ear so she wouldn't have to yell over the crowd. "Our English teacher is psychotic about being on time. I heard horror stories about her when I was in middle school." And with that, Abby was swept into her second day of school.

* * *

Brief Author's Notes...I suck at trying to format this, so the stuff that's supposed to be in bold, italics, whatever, isn't showing up. If I ever figure out how to fix it, I'll do so. Until then, deal ;) And one more thing...totally appreciated the outpouring of support I got for the first chapter. If I get responses like that from every chapter, I'll be one happy little girl. But even if I don't, I'll survive :)


	3. Chapter 3

same as before, you know the drill...more of a PG-13 rating this time because of a few swear words.

To TinyStar, regarding what you said in the last chapter of Just For Us...I just call 'em like I see 'em. Please, for my sanity, keep writing!

since I can't resist, some author's notes at the end.

* * *

"Is there some reason Abby didn't want us coming inside her house?"

Susan shrugged. "I dunno. I called her a few minutes ago, said we were on our way, and she said to wait in the car, she'd be right out. I guess she has her reasons."

"Maybe they're still trying to unpack and the place is a mess, and she's embarrassed by it or something."

"Like I said, I don't know. It could be anything, it could be nothing. You could always ask her if you're that curious."

"Yeah, I can see that going well. 'Hey, Abby, why didn't you want us coming into your house? Are you embarrassed about something? Are you hiding something?' I could shine a light in her eyes while I'm at it, really make her feel like she's being interrogated."

Susan shook her head at John. "You're dumb, you know that? Just plain dumb."

"Obviously, judging by the company I've been keeping for the past ten years."

She bit her lip, holding back a retort. "Speaking of company, what do you think of Abby?"

A slightly puzzled look came over John's face. "Uhhh...what do you mean?"

"Just in general. As a person, I guess."

"I don't know. She seems nice. And she seems to get our unusual brand of humor. Maybe we've found the ever-elusive third member of our duet."

"Uh, wouldn't that be the third member of our trio?"

"Yeah. It sounded much better in my head than it did coming out of my mouth."

Susan chuckled, then paused. "Were we looking for a so-called 'third member'?"

"Wow. Everything seems to be coming out of my mouth completely wrong. I didn't mean that there's anything wrong with just the two of us hanging out. I just meant that it's nice to have someone else around, too. Someone who's not so intimidated by us and our relationship. I mean, I'm sure you've noticed how everyone at school always seems a little put-off by how close we are and don't think we're interested in having anymore friends. We're fine with just the two of us, but I think it's also fun to have more of us."

"Don't worry–I agree. I was just wondering about your thoughts on the subject."

At that moment, they saw Abby come trotting across the lawn, a frustrated look on her face. She tossed her bag into the back of the limo and followed right behind it, slamming the door shut and quickly settling down next to Susan.

"Took you long enough," Susan teased.

"Everything all right?" John asked, almost simultaneously.

Abby rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, everything's fine. My mom's just...grrr. I had to reassure her, yet again, that no, I wasn't actually going to a party, yes, there was going to be adult supervision, no I wasn't going to get drunk or high, blah blah blah. For whatever reason, she doesn't think she can trust me. It's not like I'm known for going out and getting wasted every night."

Susan put her arm around her friend's shoulders and leaned her head against Abby's. "Well, I can't entirely blame her for wondering. I mean, this is your first co-ed sleepover. Any parent would worry a little."

"Yeah, about that...I didn't exactly tell her that this was co-ed."

Susan leaned back a little and gave Abby a look, while John raised his eyebrows. "Then what, exactly, did you tell her?" he asked.

"The truth, more or less. I said that I was staying over at a friend's house. She just assumed I meant Susan's house. I gave her your cell phone number and said that was the best way to reach me if she needed to. I didn't lie–I just...glossed over a few details." The other two just looked at her. "What? I didn't lie. I just didn't tell the whole truth. If I had told her that I was going to sleep at a guy's house, in guy's bed no less, she would have shit a brick. She's just going to need some time to get adjusted to this whole...scenario."

"Well, I could have come in and talked to her," John offered. "Let her know that I don't have anything sinister planned."

"Maybe next time," Abby answered, noncommitally. "So how far away do you live, exactly?"

"Uh, not too far. We're almost there."

"And your parents don't care that there's going to be another girl at this slumber party."

John shrugged. "No. Susan and I have been doing this for years. There's no real danger in throwing someone else into the mix."

"Just be careful," Susan said. "John's mom is a little...frosty. I've known her for ten years and she still looks at me like I'm a stranger."

"That's just my mom. She's not a bad person, she's just a little...standoff-ish."

"His grandparents are great, though. Especially his grandmother. She's the type of woman you picture when you say the word 'grandmother,' except she's a social butterfly."

Abby looked over at John. "Your grandparents are staying with you? Are they in town for a while or something?"

"No, actually, we all live together."

"Really?"

John just nodded and looked out the window. Susan looked out, too, then pointed. "There it is."

Abby peered out the window and her mouth dropped open. Looming ahead, at the end of a long driveway, was the biggest "house" Abby had ever seen in her life. "That's where you live? Good God...it looks like a hotel or something." She looked over at John and noticed that his cheeks were a little pink, then saw that Susan was shaking her head ever so slightly. _Guess it's a sensitive subject._

That didn't stop her from staring. Her eyes never left the building as they made their way up to the front door. She opened the car door without looking and continued to stare at the house as she dragged herself and her bag out of the car, craning her head back to see all the way up to the top. "I'm sorry, it's just so...so...big."

"Why, thank you."

Abby's head whipped around and she saw John leering at her playfully, and a smile broke out across her face.

"You're sick."

"All part of my charm."

"Yeah, I've noticed how the girls all come a-runnin'."

Susan burst into laughter. "Very nicely delivered, my friend. I couldn't have done it better myself."

John just shrugged. "Say what you will, but I'm the one sleeping with two girls tonight."

"And just like every other man who's had that fantasy, you're going to find yourself left out," Susan answered, walking up to the front door.

"You know, maybe we should rethink this whole thing," he said, following Susan with Abby trailing behind. "I can handle insults coming in from one direction, but two..."

"John, you can't even handle what I throw at you. Now shut up and open the door."

He mumbled something under his breath and pushed his way past Susan, digging in his pocket for his keys. "There it is," he said, pulling his hand out of his pocket, throwing his middle finger in Susan's face. "I think I've got another one around here somewhere for you."

"Just...open the door," Susan said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at Abby. "Witty, thy name is John Carter."

They all stepped through the entrance way, and Abby couldn't help but gawk again. She had known that John's family had money, but this kind of money...what they called pocket change was probably more money than she'd ever earn in her lifetime.

"My parents are actually out of town right now, so you won't be meeting them this time, and I think my grandparents are probably in bed. You'll probably meet them at breakfast."

"Uh-huh," Abby answered, not really paying attention, though she managed to gather herself enough to follow John and Susan up to his room.

"Hey, Abby."

"Huh?" she responded, picking her head up slightly off the bed, only to be greeted with a blinding flash from Susan's camera. "Arg! I'm gonna kill you!" she exclaimed, grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it at her face.

"A little tip," John said from his reclining position at the foot of the bed. "She's dangerous with a camera. Nothing will stop her from taking candid pictures. The only way she learned not to do that to me was to break her camera...twice."

"Don't get any ideas, missy," Susan said, making sure the camera was well out of Abby's grasp. "These things don't come cheap. I can't afford to keep replacing them."

"I take it you're one of those picture-phobic type people," John said to Abby.

"Well, if by picture-phobic you mean I don't like having my picture taken, then yes. That's exactly what I am."

"Oh, come on! What is it with you people? Pictures are fun! This way you'll always have documented evidence of the fun you had as a kid. And when you're old and gray and alone, _John_, people just might believe that you had friends, once upon a time."

"I invite you into my house, I let you eat my food, sleep in my bed, and you treat me like this?"

"Get real, dude. You didn't invite me; I invited myself. 'I'm a very charming sponge.'"

"Wait!" Abby yelped. "I know that one! It's from...uh...don't tell me, I know...uh..._Sound of Music_. Am I right?"

"And that's another two points for Abigail Wyczenski. You've got to pick up the pace, John. Abby's kicking your ass at movie quotes."

"Yeah, yeah, I suck, I know. You've told me many times tonight."

Susan sighed and looked at her camera. "Okay, I only have one picture left."

"Count me out," Abby mumbled from beneath her arms, trying to cover her face.

"Me, too," John answered, pulling his shirt over his head.

"You guys are boring." She let out a slightly disgruntled snort and looked at her two friends, hiding. Without moving from her flat-on-her-back position, she managed to slide across the bed until she was laying next to Abby. "Aaaabbeee."

"No. I already fell for that once, I'm not doing it again."

"I promise, I won't do it again."

"Don't listen to a word she says, Abby," John called from inside his t-shirt. "She's full of lies and propaganda."

"I swear on my life. I just want to take a picture of the two of us. You know, one of those goofy pictures with one of us holding the camera out? Everyone has one."

"So now you want me to become a lemming?"

"For three seconds out of your life, yes."

Abby sighed, then removed her arms from over her face. "Fine. I know you won't leave me alone until I cave in. Do what you must."

Susan grinned and smushed her face next to Abby's. "Ready? On the count of three, smile. One, two, three."

"And I'm now blind. Thank you for that," Abby said, blinking her eyes rapidly, trying to recover.

"And on that note, I'm getting ready for bed," Susan answered, managing to roll herself over backward off the bed, heading toward the bathroom.

"Thanks for asking if we're ready to go to bed, buttmunch," John called after her, emerging from his shirt.

"You two can do whatever you want. I, on the other hand, am tired, and I'm going to sleep." With that, she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the other two to an awkward silence.

_Why is it that I have no trouble making conversation with him when Susan's around, but the minute she's gone, he feels like a complete stranger? Just because I sort of like him and sort of think he's cute, doesn't mean I can't talk to the guy_.

But before she could make an attempt, John spoke up. "Hey Abby...if you're really uncomfortable with the whole sharing a bed with me thing, I have an air mattress I can sleep on."

Abby looked over at him and smiled. "Don't be silly. If anyone was going to sleep somewhere else, it'd be me. But it's not even a concern, so don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? Because it's really no trouble–"

"I'm sure."

Just then, Susan came bounding out of the bathroom and bounced onto the bed. "Next!"

"Ladies first," John said, then looked over at Susan. "Don't say it. Don't even think it."

Susan just batted her eyes as Abby took her turn in the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later. Then the two of them sat on the edge of his bed, making small talk until he was done.

"So, how are we going to work the sleeping arrangements?" Susan asked.

"Well, what I was picturing was me in the middle with the two of you on either side of me," John answered quickly.

"Surprise, surprise," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, what guy in his right, or wrong, for that matter, mind would turn down the opportunity to have two girls sleeping next to him? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to pass it up. Besides, I know you have to sleep on that side of the bed, and you know I'll pretty much sleep anywhere. This way, if Abby needs to get out of bed for some reason in the middle of the night, she won't have to add 'crawling over people' to her list of weird experiences of the night."

"Such a gentleman," Abby teased, waiting for the other two to get into bed so she could find out which area she would officially be claiming as hers.

"If he snores, just kick him," Susan said as the three were settling down.

"Right," Abby answered.

"Really," John told her. "I don't snore much, but when I do, a little nudge will shut me right up."

"Good to know."

"And, seriously, if you have trouble sleeping, just kick me out of bed. I won't be offended."

"Thanks, but I'm sure I'll be fine," Abby answered, rolling over and pulling the blankets up to her chin, her eyes wide open. "Good night."

She received a couple of mumbled "good nights" from her friends, who already seemed to be drifting off. Abby, on the other hand, wasn't sure she would get any sleep. Despite what she said, the situation was a little weird.

_Get over it. Just grow up and go to sleep._

Surprisingly enough, she felt herself starting to get a little sleepy. John's bed was too comfortable. Her thoughts started becoming jumbled, and she knew sleep wasn't too far behind. And she couldn't be sure, but just as she was drifting off, she thought she felt the body next to her roll over and wrap his arm around her.

* * *

Author's Notes: First, I'm sorry it took so long to update. I worked, literally, nonstop through the holidays–I clocked out at 63 hours the week of xmas...that's a lot table-waiting. I finally had a few days off this week and had writer's block. But, I'm finally delivering. It may not be any good, but...I've got it all planned out. It'll get there eventually. Sometimes you have to go through the stuff like this to get to the good junk, you know? Also, since there was a lot of confusion, BEC, is not an American thing, it's a "the author was lazy" thing. It stands for Bacon, Egg, and Cheese, and I didn't want to keep spelling it out, so I abbreviated it. Sorry about that! And I've made a little line change in chapter 2...check it out!


	4. Chapter 4

blah blah blah...you know how it goes.

again, some more notes at the bottom

* * *

The bell rang, signaling the end of a seemingly endless art class, and John and Abby grabbed their bags and pushed their way out into the hall.

"Thank God it's lunch time," John exclaimed.

"I think you're the only person I know who actually gets excited about cafeteria food," Abby told him, finally grabbing onto the strap of his bookbag so she didn't get separated in the crush of students in the hallway.

"I'm a growing boy–food excites me."

"Yeah, but it's cafeteria food. You may be growing and need nourishment and all that crap, but this stuff can kill you."

"You're a half-empty kind of gal, aren't you?" he asked, looking over at her, then realizing that she wasn't beside him, but behind him. "Having some trouble?"

"I'm a little person. I tend to get lost in the mix."

Reaching behind, John grabbed Abby's arm and moved her next to him. "I'll keep you safe," he told her, not relinquishing his hold on her.

"Aww, the big strong man is gonna protect the itty bitty woman," Abby teased, though she couldn't fight the little shiver that ran through her body at the feeling of his arm on hers.

"It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it," he answered, steering her toward the cafeteria doors.

Susan finally came into sight, and Abby noticed that she looked a little pale and slightly nauseous. "What's up with her?"

"Have you forgotten already?"

"Apparently, since I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Judgment Day."

"Huh?"

"Report cards?"

"Oh yeah. Susan told me not to open mine until lunch today, but didn't say why. Care to clue me in?"

John shrugged. "Moral support. We've been doing it for years: We wait until our lunch break to check out our grades so we have someone around to take the edge off."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why Susan looks like she's about to pass out. Are her report cards usually that scary?"

"Not really. She just worries a lot. I think it's that whole 'hope for the worst, expect the best' mentality. If she sets herself up for failure, she's pleasantly surprised when her grades are good."

Unable to wait, Susan hurried over to them and grabbed Abby's free arm, making a mental note of the fact that John was inches away from holding the other girl's hand, but pushed it to the back of her mind for the moment. "Come on," she said, leading the two of them toward the dining area. "I can't handle the suspense much longer."

"I refuse to do this on an empty stomach," John stated. "We've been over this a billion times, I don't know why you think it's going to change now." He headed toward the line for food.

"How can you eat at a time like this?" Susan exclaimed, trying to go into the dining room.

"Don't be so dramatic, woman. It's just a report card. You'll get through it," John told her, still trying to get into line.

Abby gave a tug on both of her arms, bringing her friends to a halt. "As much fun as this is, I'm not made of Silly Putty. Decide on one direction, please."

The other two had the good grace to look sheepish and release Abby's arms. "Fine," Susan relented. "We'll go get food first."

"Okay. You guys ready?" Susan asked once they had made it through the lunch line and managed to find somewhere to sit down. The other two nodded in unison.

Abby couldn't quite figure out what the big deal was about. As long as she didn't give her teachers a reason for a conference with her mother, she was set. Before she'd realized what was happening, the other two were tearing open the envelopes containing the dreaded pieces of paper. Shrugging, she followed suit and opened hers.

A few seconds later, Susan thrust her hands over her head and yelped out, "YES!"

"You skin has been saved for another semester?" John asked.

"Oh, indeed it has my friend. One C, four B's, and two A's. Susan Lewis shall live to see another day."

"Excellent. Though, I must admit I was kind of looking forward to your demise."

"Hardy-har. How'd yours turn out?"

"Umm..." he paused for a moment, scanning once again. "Four A's and three B's. Not too shabby."

"Oh, my name's John Carter. I made four A's. I'm so special," Susan mocked in a high pitched voice.

"Hey, lay off–I didn't brag at all about my superior brain power."

"Yet."

Abby saw Susan cringe as John kicked her under the table and couldn't help but smile. Hanging out with the two of them for the past couple of months had made the transition between schools more than bearable. It felt great to have two such close friends who actually gave a damn about her life. Well, what they knew of her life thus far. That's when she realized that the two of them were staring at her.

"What?"

"We're waiting," Susan said in a sing-song voice, her mood definitely lighter now that she knew death wasn't imminent.

"For...?"

"Your grades. Give it up. How'd you do? Are your weekends still free, or will we be without your company for the next few weeks while you burn the midnight oil trying to make up for this semester."

"God, I hope that's not the case," John said. "I've gotten really used to hanging out with someone who's, well...not you."

"You're a real riot today, you know that? I don't need this kind of abuse. The door's right over there–don't let it hit you where the good lord split ya. I've got Abby to keep me company."

"What makes you so sure she'd want to hang around with you and not me?"

"'Cause I've got dibs," Susan answered with a smirk.

"Dibs? How do you have dibs?"

"I saw her first."

"That's not fair. I can't help my class schedule."

The two of them heard a little chuckle and looked over to see a thoroughly amused Abby watching the exchange like a tennis match. She threw her hands in air in mock-surrender. "Please, don't stop on my account."

"Sorry," the other two mumbled in unison.

"You're not my property, I shouldn't treat you as such," Susan told her, doing her very best to look ashamed, though not quite pulling it off.

"Yeah, Susan. Don't treat her like property," John said, grinning.

Susan opened her mouth to respond, but quickly shut it, not interested in getting into another battle of wills with John. "Anyway, how'd you do."

Abby shrugged. "I did all right."

"All right as in 'I'll try harder next semester,' or all right as in 'I can make this F look like an A'?"

"Just all right."

Susan nodded, seemingly accepting that explanation. But before Abby realized it, Susan had reached across the table and grabbed the report card out of Abby's hand.

Susan was silent for a moment before she put the piece of paper on the table in front of her. "If that's your definition of 'all right,' I can't even imagine what your 'outstanding' standards would be."

"So I made a few A's. So what?"

"A 'few?' Since when is 'all' classified as a 'few?' And it's not that you just got A's...it's that out of a possible one hundred, you got between a ninety-eight and one hundred in every class."

John's eyes widened. "Geez. And you said you wanted to cheat off _me_ in Algebra?"

Abby just shrugged once more and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for Susan to continue, as she knew she would.

Sure enough... "Out of curiosity, what was your placing in your last school?"

"My placing?"

"Yeah, your rank. I'm guessing you were easily in the top 5 percent, but were these kind of grades the norm? I mean, did you go to some sort of Stepford school, or were you already well-  
positioned for valedictorian?"

"I don't know," Abby mumbled, suddenly very interested in her lunch.

Susan and John exchanged looks, realizing that there was still a lot that they didn't know about their new friend. Susan changed the tone in her voice and tried again. "Abby...it's not like we're going to judge you or mock you or start using you for your brains or whatever. Honestly, I'm just curious."

Abby sighed and bit her lip. It wasn't that she thought that anything bad would come of her talking about her grades, it was just that she wasn't used to sharing things about her life. "Yeah, I guess it's possible that I could've been looking at the whole 'head of the class' thing at my last school. But, to tell the truth, freshman year was a little early to be thinking about that stuff, at least in my book. I didn't really think about what my rank was in my class."

"Fair enough. But, are you one of those people who never really has to crack a book to pass a class, or...?"

"Sort of, I guess. I mean, yeah, a lot of it does come easy to me, but I study anyway. I want to make sure my grades stay up. And, before you can ask," Abby said, interrupting Susan, whose mouth was already open to ask another question. "It's for college. I don't know if I'm terribly worried about getting in to something somewhere, but I need to find a school that's willing to pay for me to go there. I'd rather not be in debt for the rest of my life, paying off college loans, still complaining about the injustice of being forced to go to school for free for thirteen years, but then having to pay an arm and a leg, not to mention my first born, just so I can willingly get a higher education."

"I know what you mean," Susan said. "My parents don't have a college fund for me, either. But I've long since realized that I'm not going to get some massive scholarship to pay for four years of college, so I'm going to apply for every grant humanly possible. Not to mention the little random scholarships that everyone forgets about. I'm still hoping to find one goes to the second born blonde daughter in a dysfunctional family of four."

Abby couldn't help but laugh. "Let me know if you find that one."

"Well, now I feel kinda bad," John said.

"Why's that?"

"Because I don't have to worry about how I'm going to pay for college. That's why I haven't been too worried about trying to get a scholarship–I think it should go to someone who actually needs it, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with that," Susan said.

"And it's not your fault that your family has money, you know. Don't feel bad about things you have no control over," Abby added.

"Yeah, but still..." his voice trailed off. "How about I talk to my grandparents, maybe see if I can set up a couple of quote/unquote scholarships for close friends of John Truman Carter III?"

Abby just shook her head and chuckled some more. "Thanks, but I think I'll manage."

Susan tossed Abby's report card across the table. "Don't be so hasty. The boy might be onto something."

* * *

Author's Notes: First of all, I honestly do appreciate all of the feedback I've been getting. It's amazing the kind of support I'm getting for this thing. Secondly, I've reloaded chapter 3 cuz there were quite a few typos in it. I was crazy with sleep deprivation at that point, and I can honestly say I don't remember writing half of that one.

So, I used a lot of the American grading system in this one–if you're unfamiliar with it, I'll be more than happy to give you a run down. I apologize for taking so long to get this one out, and I don't know if it was worth the wait. Again, I know exactly where I want this to go, but I just have to figure out how to get from A to Z, you know? This chapter was mainly to establish Abby as a smartie, but I think it's kind of fun. And, for anyone who's wondering, I already have the next chapter in the works. It all boils down to when my next day off is, and if I have the energy to write. But, it has some Carby interaction type stuff, so just bear with me. I promise, I'll get you there. Oh, and by the way, to the Brothel...where ye be?


	5. Chapter 5

same summary, same cast, same deal

author's notes at the end

* * *

"Hey."

John looked up from his position standing outside of the car he was being chauffered around in the day to see Susan trotting across her lawn toward him.

"Took you long enough," he told her, moving to get into the car. "You ready to get this show on the road?"

"That's what I came to tell you," she answered, a little frown creasing her face. "I can't hang out today."

"What? Why not?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically. "By royal decree of my parents, I must stay at home, do chores, and study. It's Saturday, for crying out loud! I can do that stuff tomorrow."

"I thought Sunday was the day of rest," John teased, trying to lighten her mood a little.

"Not in the Lewis family."

"So what do we do now?"

"Looks like it's just going to be you and Abby today."

John was silent for a few seconds. "I've never spent time alone with her before."

Susan raised an eyebrow and looked at him questioningly. "You have two classes with her every day."

"Yeah, but that's not exactly alone time, now is it? Considering there's about 30 other people around us, not to mention a teacher who, for whatever reason, demands our full attention, it's not exactly the best time to get to know someone."

"We've spent time with her every day for the past how many months? How could you possibly feel uncomfortable around her?" She paused, a gleam coming to her eyes. "Unless..."

That look worried him a bit. "Unless what?"

"You like her!"

"You're unhinged. You think everyone likes each other."

"Maybe, but in this case, I'm right. You have a crush on Abby."

"How can I have a crush on her? I don't know her that well. Besides, I think just about every guy in school has a crush on her."

Susan couldn't help but be impressed. "Really?"

"Well, I don't know if they all do, but a lot of them. Haven't you noticed the way they look at her in the halls? And I've heard quite a few things about her in the locker room."

She inadvertently felt her hackles raise, preparing to defend her friend. "What kind of things?"

"Relax...nothing bad. Just that they think she's..." He paused and shifted uncomfortably before continuing. "Pretty and funny and smart, but just can't quite get up the guts to ask her out."

"Aww, our little Abby's Miss Popularity."

"A lot of it's probably that whole fresh meat concept."

Susan stared at him, a little baffled. "Fresh meat?"

"Yeah. Someone new, someone that people don't know a lot about. I guess it's a guy thing, but there's something about a woman and mystery that sends guys into a frenzy."

"I guess. Girls generally tend to go for the bad boy types. Our equivalent, I suppose." She shook her head. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Distract me. We were talking about your crush on Abby."

"No, you were talking about my crush on Abby."

"Ah ha!" Susan yelped. "You just admitted it! You DO like her!"

John sighed and hung his head. There was no winning with this girl. "Fine, Susan, think what you want."

"Uh-uh, you're not getting away that easy. Not after this kind of breakthrough." She lowered her voice and looked him in the eyes, the wide grin fading from her face. "Seriously. You can talk to me, you know. We've been talking to each other for years. If you do like her...well, it's not like I'm going to run off and tell her. I'll keep it quiet."

He kept his eyes on the tips of his sneakers, mentally debating what to say. But, in the end, he realized that it was Susan, and how could he not tell her the truth? He sighed and forced himself to look up and meet her gaze.

"Yes. I like her. I don't know what it is, but I really like her. I'm crazy about her, all right? There's something about her that I'm just...drawn to. I can't help it, I can't control it, and I can't stop it. Are you happy? You've dragged it out of me."

Susan reached out and touched John's arm lightly. "Hey. I think it's great that you like Abby. She's a wonderful person. You could do a whole hell of a lot worse than a girl like her."

John gave her a pained look. "But now do you see why spending the day alone with her is freaking me out? If I thought of her the way I think of you, no offense, there wouldn't be any problem. But every time I look at her, I have this mental image of some bad, 70s TV movie with two teenagers running toward each other in slow motion across a meadow."

Susan cringed. "Okay, that's just wrong."

"Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. But at the very least, I keep picturing stupid things like...holding her hand while walking down the halls at school."

With that thought, Susan just melted. "Awww. That's so sweet. You should definitely ask her out."

"Yeah, okay."

"Why not?"

"Because I enjoy her company. And if I ask her out and she says no, then things will get weird and awkward between us and then the three of us won't be able to hang out like we usually do. I'd rather have her has a friend then not have her at all."

"Wow. That's one of the nicest things I've ever heard. Most guys our age would just try to nail her and move on."

John's nostrils flared a little at the thought of some guy doing that to Abby. "I don't want to 'nail' her, Susan. I want to be her boyfriend."

Susan's eyes widened in surprise. "Your feelings on the subject run much deeper than I would've imagined. Now I definitely think you should ask her out."

"And here we are again."

"Fine. But will you at least think about it? I know you're afraid she'll say no, but what if she says yes?"

"She wouldn't say yes."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit, John. You're a great guy and you deserve to be happy. And it seems that Abby makes you happy."

"Would you knock it off, please?"

Susan threw up her hands in surrender. "All right. I'll let it go. For now. But you know this isn't over, right?"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that."

She opened her mouth to continue, but at that moment, they heard someone call out, "Hey!" Simultaneously, they looked up and saw Abby half walking, half running towards them.

"Running a bit late, are we?"

"Sorry about that," John answered.

Abby shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"I just came out here to tell you guys that I can't make it today. My parents told me I have to stay home and do some work. You know how it goes. But you two have fun. And stop by later on–I'll probably be able to sneak out for a few minutes to say hi. Maybe by that point, I'll have been given a reprieve or something. Later!" Susan gave them a smile and trotted off to her house.

John and Abby stood in silence for a few moments, each searching for something to say. Abby felt her heart racing at the thought of spending a day alone with John. She didn't know if she could handle it.

"Where are my manners?" John asked suddenly, reaching out and opening the door. "Ladies first."

"Well then by all means, get in the car," Abby answered, smirking.

"Oh, goody. I'm not even going to notice the absence of Susan, am I?"

"Probably not," Abby told him, sliding into the backseat of the car.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Many hours later, after putzing around in Barnes & Noble and the mall, the pair were standing on Susan's doorstep, waiting for her to emerge from her room.

"Hey guys," Susan greeted them, stumbling downstairs to the open front door. "Back so soon?"

"Soon? We've been gone for five hours," John said.

"Wow. Has it been that long? I kinda nodded off for a while."

"Slacker," Abby mumbled, nudging her friend good-naturedly.

Susan noticed then that Abby was carrying a small, house-shaped box. "Whatcha got there?"

"Oh!" She put her back to Susan, pulled an object out of the box, then turned around with a little brown bear dressed in a suit. "I got a Build-A-Bear!"

Susan chuckled. "Build-A-Bear? Really?"

"Hey, come on. I've never been to one before. I'd only heard about them back in Minnesota. And then we ran into one that had just opened up downtown, so John gave into my whining and let me go in."

"Yeah, I'm weak," John added. "I can only listen to a girl bitch and moan for so long before I have to cave."

"Right. So, what's the bear's name?"

Abby grinned. "Carter."

Susan just blinked. "You named your bear Carter?"

"Well, John did buy him for me."

Susan blinked again. "You bought her a bear?"

John shrugged. "Why not? If something so small is going to bring someone that much joy, then what the hell?"

Abby just grinned wider and hugged the bear closer to her chest. "And it does bring me a lot of joy."

Susan rolled her eyes. "And now we know what Abby was like at age five."

Abby stuck her tongue out. "Hey, I like my bear, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. There's something very special about a personalized teddy bear."

"Just don't forget–I have visitation rights," John reminded her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Just when Susan thought her eyebrows couldn't go any higher watching this little exchange, she proved herself wrong. "Visitation rights?"

"Yeah. I have full custody, but John opted for visitation rights. You know, to make sure the bear's being taken care of properly and all that."

"Huh?

John shrugged. "I kind of like the little guy myself, so I told Abby that she could have soul custody as long I was allowed to see him from time to time."

Susan scratched her head in confusion. "I'm going to go back upstairs and wake up again, because I'm pretty sure this is a very twisted dream I'm having."

"Good grief, Susan, we're only joking around. It's her bear–she can do whatever she wants with it."

"I've got to get going," Abby said suddenly, putting Carter back in his box. "Otherwise, my mom'll freak out because I've been gone so long. Give me a call tomorrow, if you guys want to do anything." And at that, she hurried down the street toward her house.

Susan turned to look at John, who was watching Abby. "So, you bought her a teddy bear, huh? How sweet."

"Shut up."

"How'd you manage to actually buy it for her?"

"She wanted one but couldn't convince herself that it was something she needed to spend money on, so I bought it. It's not that big of a deal."

"Uh huh."

"It's not!"

"Of course not."

"Why do I get the feeling that you don't believe me?"

"Probably because I don't."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go. I don't need this kind of interrogation right now."

"Okay, you go home and dream about your day with Abby."

"Eat me."

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Why do I bother with you?"

"Because no one else will put up with you. See ya later, John." With that, Susan waved and stepped back into her house, closing the door behind her.

John got into the car and smiled to himself as he watched the familiar scenery fly by. He'd managed to spend the day alone with Abby and not make a complete ass of himself. What's more, she seemed to actually have a good time with him. Maybe there was hope after all.

* * *

Author's Notes: First of all, I'm sorry this took so damn long for me to get out. Writer's block. And work. Since the last time I updated this, I stopped working days and have gone to working only nights, so it's messing with my system and as a result...no writing. I hope to update more frequently in the future, but I make no promises...this is why I could never really write, though. Deadlines mean nothing to me. But keep the reviews coming. They mean so much to me. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed–you're awesome. And the people who have reviewed more than once–you're getting a cookie. And the ones who haven't reviewed (but like to bitch at me to update through IM), you know who you are...bite me ;) Reviews might make me write, but don't hold me to that. But I don't need a certain number of reviews to post another chapter. I'm not going to be one of those people (who are writing for the wrong reasons, but I won't go there). Nor am I going to do that whole review response thing at the bottom of each chapter that seems to be, unfortunately, catching on with a lot of writers. Anyway, I just want to thank C-Dawg for NOT pressuring me to write. Thank you SO MUCH for not begging.


	6. Chapter 6

if you don't know what this is about, go back to chapter one...do no pass go, do not collect $200.

author's notes at the end, except for this–I've jumped ahead a little...this is the end of their sophomore year because it would've taken forever to get through everything and I don't think any of us have that kind of time or patience.

* * *

"Explain to me again how I wound up being John's date for this thing tonight," Abby mumbled, studying her reflection carefully, trying to determine if her hair looked presentable or not.

"First of all," Susan began, squeezing in next to Abby to check her makeup in the full length mirror. "It's not a 'thing.' It's a dance. The Spring Fling, to be precise. And you're his date because I got a better offer."

"So I get your sloppy seconds."

"Hardly. More like the other way around had someone else not asked me to go with them. This way, I won't be intruding on you love birds."

"Love birds my ass. He's stuck with me by default. It was all well and good when the three of us decided to go as a group, but he couldn't very well back out of taking just me once your 'better offer' came along, now could he?"

"Why would he want to back out of taking you to a dance?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe so he could have a real date?"

"I hate to break it to you, Abs, but I think you are his real date."

"Wow." Abby shrugged and gave Susan a half smile. "Sucks for him."

"You lost me."

"It sucks that I have to wind up being his real date when, if we had known that someone was going to ask you, he could have found someone that he really wants to go with as opposed to one of his friends."

Susan sighed. "But I thought you'd finally decided that you actually 'like him' like him."

"I do, but that doesn't mean he likes me in the same way. So, while it's all well and good for me that I get to be his date, he's the one who's stuck with being a nice guy for the night."

Susan truly wanted to bang her head against the wall. Trying to work with these two was like trying to pull teeth. It was great that they'd finally admitted that they liked each other, but the hard part was getting them to admit it to one another. And the most she could do was try to push them each in the right direction. They'd each sworn her to secrecy about their feelings, and she couldn't very well tell them what was really going on, even if it was for the greater good. She couldn't betray either of her friends' trust like that. It had just been pure dumb luck that Mark Greene, a highly adorable senior, had asked her to go with him to the dance, forcing Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumb to go together, almost like a real date. Even though the four of them were going in a group.

"You know, you could tell John that you like him. In some cultures, honesty is actually effective."

Abby gave Susan's reflection a look, then snorted. "Yeah, I'm so sure."

"What's the worse that could happen?!"

"Do you really have to ask that? He could laugh at me, he could tell the whole school about it and then they could all laugh together..."

"Oh, come on. You've known John for almost a full school year now. Does he really seem like the kind of guy who would ever do something like that?"

Abby at least had the good grace to look sheepish. "No. But it's just that...he's so out of my league, you know? He's blue blood, I'm blue collar."

Susan rolled her eyes. "Oh, for the love of mud. You sound like a country song or something."

"Sounding like a country song doesn't stop it from being true."

"Abby, have you ever once, ONCE, stopped to think that there's a small possibility that he could like you, too? I mean, hasn't it ever just crossed your mind, even for a second?" She paused, realizing she may have inadvertently said too much, and scrambled to find a way to cover her blunder. "Because I don't see any reason why he wouldn't like you."

Abby let out an enormous sigh. "Can we just let this go for the night? Please? I just want to go to this thing–"

"It's a dance!"

"Fine. This DANCE and enjoy myself without being too self-conscious around John. That's not asking so much, is it?"

Susan closed her eyes and shook her head. "Whatever. The subject has been dropped for the evening. We will continue to discuss this at a later date and time, all right?"

Abruptly changing the subject, Abby said, "So, this Mark guy...you said he's a senior, right?"

Susan couldn't help it–she grinned. "Uh huh."

"How'd you manage that one?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. We've known each other vaguely for years, but I've never directly spoken to him, you know? Then the other day he comes up to me and starts talking about how this is his last dance ever and that he had to swallow his pride and finally ask me out. As if I'd say no. Then he starts going on about how he's wanted to ask me out for a while but was always afraid I'd say no. It was really very sweet."

Abby smiled at her friend. "Definitely. I'm happy for you."

What Susan didn't mention was the other reason Mark had finally decided to ask her out–he'd always thought that she and John were something of an item until Abby had shown up and then it became fairly obvious that John was enamored with someone else. She wanted to tell this to Abby, but she felt that it would somehow be a breech of trust between herself and John. Stupid morals.

A few minutes later, they heard the doorbell ring, and then Susan's mother yelled to let them know that their dates had arrived.

The two grabbed their bags and gave themselves one last look in the mirror. Susan smiled anxiously at Abby. "Wow. I'm actually kind of nervous about this. Can you believe that I, of all people, am nervous about something?"

Abby gave her friend's hand a little squeeze. "There's nothing to be worried about. Remember, he's the one who asked you–he wants to be with you. Just relax and have a good time."

Susan delicately patted her painstakingly-curled hair to make sure it was in place and smoothed down her long, pale yellow dress. "Do I look all right?"

"You look beautiful," Abby confirmed. "What about me?" She grabbed the top of her floor-length off-white dress and gave it a little tug. "I don't look ridiculous going strapless, do I? I mean, like nothing but the sheer will of God is holding this dress up?"

"You're hot, babe. There's no denying it."

Susan's mother yelled for them again, and realizing they could stall no longer, they made their way down to the living room.

The Spring Fling was half over, and John still couldn't get over how amazing Abby looked. He'd barely been able to tear his eyes away from her all night, though, fortunately, she seemed to think he was just being friendly.

They'd all but been abandoned by Susan and Mark, who had hit it off very well, and had only sat out one dance so far. John and Abby, on the other hand, had only danced once or twice, each claiming no talent on the dance floor, but each feeling nervous and self-conscious about being on a "date" with each other, so they settled for sitting off to the side at one of the tables that had been set up for people who wanted to take a breather between dances.

"So..." John began, casting about for a topic. "What are your plans for the summer?"

Abby shrugged. "Not much. Trying to get a job. Hopefully, something very flexible so I can help take care of Eric if I have to."

"Have you applied anywhere yet?"

"Yeah, a few places. I've been leaning toward reception work. Something relatively easy and non-demanding. I mean, yeah, I'd be inside all day, but at least I'd get out at five and have the rest of the evening to play with. And, if the place I end up likes me, they might keep me on as part time during the school year and then have me again next summer. Having a constant income, no matter how meager, would be awesome."

"Any big plans for your income?" _What the hell kind of question was that,_ he wondered. _Is making conversation with this girl really that hard?_

"I'm going to try to save up for a car. Did you know that they don't buy themselves? And that money doesn't grow on trees?"

"Yeah, I heard that rumor."

"It came as a crippling blow to me. Until my mom told me that a few weeks ago, I thought little magic elves came out at night and put money in our pockets and food in the cabinets. Go figure."

John just chuckled–Abby's dry wit was one of the things her enjoyed most about her.

"So, how about you? Any hot plans for the summer?"

"Actually, yes. I thought about getting a job, just for the experience, you know? But I don't want to take a job away from someone who needs it, which my family, amazingly enough, agreed with. They had the idea for us to go on this tour of historic Europe for the summer, which I'll admit sounds cool because I've never been to Europe, but I wanted to actually do something useful this summer. So, I decided to do volunteer work."

Abby blinked in amazement. "You passed up Europe for volunteer work?"

"Yeah. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing! It's just that...most people wouldn't do something like that. You know, put the needs of others ahead of themselves." _This guy just amazes me more with each passing second. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to even know this guy._

"I don't know. I guess I figured that a trip to Europe is something that I'll save for and do at some point after college. Or on my honeymoon. It seems like a honeymoon kind of thing."

Simultaneously, and without either one knowing it, both John and Abby's minds flickered to the two of them on their honeymoon in Europe, wandering around someplace romantic, probably in Paris.

Abby shook herself out of her thoughts. _Where did that come from?_ "Yeah, it does sound more like a honeymoon than a family trip." Quickly, she changed the subject. "So, have you decided where you're going to volunteer?"

"Yep. Habitat for Humanity," he answered, smiling proudly.

She looked at him in awe. "Wow. You're going to build homes for people?"

He nodded. "It's going to be a lot of manual labor, which I suck at, but I really want to do it. I love the idea of building homes for people who need them. And it's a great way to get work experience without taking away from other people."

Abby was very nearly stunned speechless before she blurted out, "You're amazing."

John's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "What?"

"Well, you are. Passing up making money or foreign travel to help other people. No one does that. And I think it's amazing."

He felt his face start to heat up, so he looked down at the tabletop and mumbled, "Thanks."

They remained in an awkward silence for a minutes until the DJ announced that it was the last song, and that the night was almost over.

John gathered up his courage and stood up, holding his hand out to Abby. "What do you say? Shall we go cut a rug?"

Abby took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled upright. "Well, I don't know about cutting any rugs, but I could probably weave a web." John just looked at her. "Sorry. I got nothin'."

He grinned. "Let's just dance."

He pulled her out onto the dance floor and into his arms, resting his head on top of hers while she rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The song was slow, but neither of them even noticed what the tune was. All they were aware of were their bodies pressed close together, the feeling of being in each other's arms.

It felt right.

* * *

Author's Notes: I know–I suck at life. Sorry to make you wait so long for this. It's somewhat mushy, though, so you have to give me that. I left out some of their trademark sarcasm and wit because it didn't really fit here. This chapter was more about how awkward it can be when you're a teenager and with someone you like–it's been a while, so I hope I got it right...ish. Also, some people have been asking about Maggie and her role in all of this. All I can say is that it'll come. I have some plans, and hopefully I can make them pan out. Don't know when the next chapter will come out because I'm in the middle of moving (thus cutting off my 'net for a brief period), I'm working, I'm doing Busch Gardens once a week (because I'm cool like that), and I supposedly have this big birthday thing coming up at the end of June (3 of us with birthdays 3 days in a row, all born the same year), so I need to work more so I can make some spending money, plus I have to get my car fixed, pay bills, loans, blah blah blah...and now that you know my life story, the moral is that I don't know when the next chapter will be out. Probably July, but sooner, if my muse strikes. So, review if you wish...it would be awesome. I'm hoping to hit 100 reviews. Alex, the states aren't the same without you!!


	7. Chapter 7

same shit, different day.

author's notes at the end...hope the formatting issue I had last time is cleared up...this chapter is probably rated PG-13.

* * *

Abby sighed and checked her watch once more, just to make sure it wasn't too late to be ringing someone's doorbell. Not that she could change it now, but she needed to keep herself busy while she was waiting for someone to answer the door.

She still couldn't quite work out why she had decided to go to John's house. Maybe it was because she needed to talk to someone, and Susan was out of town, visiting her grandparents.

The door to the Carter mansion swung open and Abby was surprised to see that John himself had answered the door. He looked quite surprised to see her standing there.

"What, no butler tonight?" she asked, a lopsided smile appearing on her face.

"Well, he's off fetching me a brandy and a cigar, so I had no choice but to do something for myself for once," he threw back. "What's up?"

She shrugged, feeling herself become self-conscious. "I don't know. Guess I just needed...I don't know."

He looked over her shoulder, searching for evidence of how she got to his house at that time of night. "How'd you get here?"

"I rode my bike."

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You rode your bike? All the way from your house? At night?"

"Well, it's better than walking here, isn't it?"

"I guess but...geez, Abby. You should have just called–I would have picked you up."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know where I was going until I got here."

"That makes me feel better–you riding aimlessly around Chicago."

Abby let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, are you going to criticize me or are you going to invite me in? Because you can criticize me inside, too."

He stepped back a few feet and silently invited her in. He remained silent as he closed the door behind her, waiting.

"I guess I...it was...things were a little crazy at home and I needed to get away." _Why can't I form a coherent sentence around him? He's your friend. He's just your friend, you can talk to him._

"You wanna talk about it?"

She regarded him for several moments, mentally debating whether she'd even be able to speak properly. In the end, she simply nodded.

John looked around, trying to decide the best place to have a conversation. "Let's go outside. We won't bother anyone if we're out there." With that, he led her through the house, out to the pool, where he plunked himself down on the ledge, dropping his short-clad legs into the water.

Somewhat timidly, Abby followed his example, sitting so they were shoulder to shoulder, but hugged her legs close to her body, partly because she was still feeling self-conscious, but also because she felt the need to be hugged.

"So..." John began.

"How was work today?" she asked, trying to delay the conversation for a little longer.

He looked at her for a moment, but decided not to press the issue and let her take her time. "It was good. The house is almost ready–we'll be moving someone in soon."

"That's awesome. It must be a great feeling, you know?"

He smiled in agreement. "Yeah, it is. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something and not just being a drain on society."

"I wish I could do something like that."

"There's nothing wrong with having a job that pays, Abby. You're trying to earn your own living, and that's just as admirable, especially at our age. Most of the people at school probably won't get jobs until they're forced into it. They'd rather mooch off of their parents forever. Speaking of jobs, though, how was your day at work?"

"Pretty good. Actually, they finally told me that they want to keep me on part-time through the school year, and they're willing to work with my schedule. So, I'll be working a few hours after school two or three days a week, and most weekends. They're really nice, and they seem to like having me around, so I can't complain."

There was an awkward pause in the conversation while they each mentally fished around for another topic.

"Hard to believe the summer's almost over, huh?" he finally asked.

"Yeah. It didn't really feel like much of a summer, though, being stuck inside the whole time."

"Sucks to get old."

Abby smiled at him. "At least you managed to get a tan. I'm still pretty pasty." Tan looked really good on him. Not to mention that he'd gotten quite muscular from building houses all summer. She'd had a tough time taking her eyes off of hm on the rare occasions he'd walked around shirtless.

"Nah, you don't look so bad. You spent quite a few hours hanging out here, so you've got one of those healthy glow things going on." He nudged her playfully. "And I got to see you in a bikini, so it wasn't an entirely wasted vacation."

Abby was surprised to hear herself laughing out loud. "You're terrible."

"I'm also a sixteen-year-old guy. Girls in bikinis make me happy."

There was yet another pause in the conversation, though Abby quickly decided that if she came all this way to talk, she might as well talk.

"My mom's sick."

That got John's attention. "What?"

"Not sick like that. Mentally sick."

"Oh. Aren't they all?"

"I suppose, but she's actually sick."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's manic-depressive."

"That's the one when they have all those mood swings, right?"

Abby let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, that's one way of putting it. But it's so...extreme. She can go from cracked-out cheerleader mode to angst-ridden teenager mode in about five seconds. She's happy then she's sad then she's mad, then she does it all over again."

"I thought they could treat manic-depression."

"They can. The problem is that she doesn't always take her medication. She's been really good about it lately, but sometimes...she just doesn't feel like it. That's when it gets rough."

"So...did she decide to not take her medicine today or something?" John knew there were only so many reasons that Abby would be bringing this up now, and that something must have happened with her mother.

"That's the thing. I don't know. She started yelling at me when I got home from work a couple of hours ago, but I don't know if it's because I did something to piss her off, or if she's manic right now. It can be really hard to tell sometimes, especially when I don't get to watch her closely. So, I actually could have done something that made her rightfully mad, but I didn't feel like sticking around to find out just then. So I made sure Eric could stay at a friend's house and got out of there."

A few things finally clicked into place for John. "So that's why you're always worried about getting home to make sure he's all right."

"Yeah. Because I can't count on my mother to be there all the time, someone has to be."

"That's not fair to you."

"No, it's not. But someone has to do it. At least I know I can count on me. And so does he."

"Why didn't you tell me, or Susan, about all of this before?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. It doesn't generally come up in casual conversation though, does it? 'Gee, that test today was a bitch, wasn't it? And hey, did I tell you that my mom's bipolar?'"

He chuckled a little at that. "Yeah, I can see your point. But, seriously, if you ever need to talk to anyone about it, you know, now that I know, I'm here for you. If you ever need to get away, just call me and I'll come pick you up. Eric, too, if necessary."

Abby smiled at him in appreciation. He was such a genuinely nice guy, the likes of which one would be hard-pressed to find anywhere, never mind that he was still in high school. That was part of what drew her to him, among other things. "Thanks. I really do appreciate it. And it does feel good to finally talk to someone about it, even if there's nothing you can do. Anyway," she said, shifting a little so she was facing him, letting one leg drop into the water but keeping the other close her body. "So what about you? Anything you need to bitch about?"

John had the feeling there was a lot more to Abby's mother than she was saying, but the fact that she had told him this much was enough for now. "Well, I've barely seen my parents all summer, though I don't think I'm actually upset about that. We're not exactly close."

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that. Why is that?"

"Who knows. Just not interested in being parents, I guess. Too busy living the high life to be interested in their kid. It's okay, though. I have my grandparents, and they're awesome. I'm quite content to have them as my parental figures."

"Well, just as long as you're content," Abby answered, grinning slightly. "Content is good."

"Content works for me."

Another silence fell between them, and neither were quite sure how to break it now. Abby had said what she had come to say and was now tapped out. Granted, she felt better having told him about her mother, but there was still so much he didn't know and so much she was concerned about, it still weighed heavily on her mind. Her gaze drifted to the rippling water of the pool and she stared at her foot, transfixed by the shapes it was taking underwater. She was well aware of John staring at her, but she was at a loss for words.

The moments lapsed into minutes of silence and eventually, the staring got be too much. She looked up to tell him to knock it off and was surprised to see that not only had he been staring at her, but he'd been slowly leaning in closer. She swallowed nervously but before she had time to process anything, his lips were on hers. Instinct took over as soon as the shock wore off and she kissed him back.

It was soft and gentle, not demanding or pushy. Everything a first kiss ought to be. Perfect.

Too soon, he was pulling away, looking surprised by his own actions. Abby didn't care. She didn't want to think, she didn't want to analyze it, she didn't want to ponder what it could mean, she just wanted to act. She wanted to kiss him again. She'd wanted to kiss him for months and now was finally the time. She didn't know if John felt the same way or if it was something that just occurred to him, but it didn't matter. They could talk about it later. This was here and now.

This time, she leaned into him but didn't hesitate before pressing her lips to his. He seemed surprised but definitely didn't fight her off. He brought his hands up to cup her face, pulling her closer. Tentatively, she slid her hands up his arms, letting them come to rest at his shoulders.

She didn't know how long they kissed–it could have been moments, it could have been hours–but suddenly she was laying on the ground beside the pool, John's body pressed firmly against hers. They had somehow rearranged their arms so that hers were now wrapped around his neck, her hands stroking from the nape of his neck to as far down his back as they could go. His hands were resting somewhere around her waist, gently massaging her hips and her sides, almost groping her, but not quite. Considering she had never actually kissed anyone before, she thought she was doing a pretty good job with the whole situation. Though most of it felt instinctive, as if somewhere, deep down, maybe she didn't know how to kiss, but she knew how to kiss him.

Eventually, oxygen became a necessity, and they managed to untangle their lips from one another.

"Wow," Abby whispered, struggling to catch her breath.

"I know," John answered, his voice equally as soft, also trying to breathe.

"Where did that come from?"

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," he told her with a smile. "I guess I just finally found the courage to do it."

A slow smile spread over Abby's face. "Really? You've wanted to kiss me for a long time?"

"Oh yeah. I've had the world's biggest crush on you for so long."

This was a first. The guy she liked actually liked her back. She leaned up and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.

Suddenly, John sat up and moved himself off of her. Abby was puzzled until he said, "I must've been crushing you. And concrete isn't very forgiving."

She sat up and just smiled at him. "I hadn't noticed."

They stared at each other for several long moments before he stood up and held his hand out to her. "Come on. It's getting late and we should probably get inside. I can drive you home if you want, or you can stay here tonight."

"Uh, I think I'd like to stay here, if you don't mind." She tried to say it casually, but her heart starting pounding at the thought of sharing a bed with him tonight.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he answered, pulling her to a standing position but not releasing her hand. "Though, I think we should lay some ground rules for ourselves."

"Okay...like what?"

"Probably no kissing in bed. Obviously, we're going to be prone to get carried away, if this is any indication. And if my grandparents were to come in and find us making out, they'd probably kill us both. They trust me, and they've been very lenient about letting you and Susan stay over, and I'd kind of like to keep it that way. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, I can live with that."

"Don't misunderstand me. It's going to be very hard to keep my hands off you now, but at least for tonight, we'll be able to sleep in the same bed without anyone freaking out."

Abby just smiled and let him kiss her for a few moments before leading him toward the house. "Come on. The sooner we get to bed, the sooner we get to wake up and make out some more."

John gazed at her in amazement and let himself be led to his house, wondering why on earth he waited so long to do this. But, he had to admit, it was worth the wait.

* * *

Author's Notes: The End. Kidding. It's just getting good. But, I'll let you guys be the judge of that. Can you believe I got another chapter out so quickly? I started making notes for it the other day at work, but I went out town the next day and was away from a computer for about 5 days, so I couldn't work on it. But, I wanted to get something to you guys before my net's temporarily taken away from me. I really do hope it was worth the seven month wait. For my part, it came out pretty close to how I pictured it in my head. So, review if you liked it, you know the drill. Oh, and apparently I didn't mention COURTNEY last time, so HI COURTNEY. And holla to ALEX across the pond. And I'd also like to thank the academy...


	8. Chapter 8

all disclaimers still apply, blah blah blah

author's notes at the end

* * *

John opened his eyes and then shut them immediately once the sunlight nearly blinded him. He waited a couple of seconds before very carefully opening his eyes to the new day. He tried to stretch and realized that there was a warm body snuggled into his side. He grinned and gently kissed the top of his girlfriend's head. 

_My girlfriend. Wow. Abby's my girlfriend. I still can't believe it_.

He would have been content to lay there and watch her sleep for a while, but she chose that moment to open her own eyes and blink sleepily up at him. She graced him with a lazy smile before her entire body went stiff as she stretched and a loud yawn came out of her mouth.

John couldn't help but snicker a little. "And a good morning to you, too." He leaned down to give her a kiss, something he was still happy he was allowed to do now.

"No!" she shrieked, quickly turning to face away from him, hiding her face.

"No?"

"Morning breath."

John didn't know whether to laugh or be offended. "Well, if it bothers you that much, I'll go brush my teeth first."

"Not your morning breath--my morning breath. You don't wanna be near that."

He lifted himself up slightly and maneuvered so that he could see her face. "I don't care," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips. And, truthfully, he didn't. All he wanted to do was kiss her.

Apparently, it became less of an issue for Abby as well, since she was quite willing to respond. And, without either of them realizing it, they managed to a more comfortable and recently familiar position of him lying on top of her, holding her close. She wasn't quite sure how they always managed to end up in that position, but she knew she didn't mind it. It made her feel safe, as if she was completely surrounded by John.

Once breathing became important, they pried their lips from each other, but Abby kept her arms firmly around John's neck, ensuring that he wouldn't move. "I could so get used to waking up like this."

He grinned and kissed her again. "I've missed you this week." This was actually only the second time she'd managed to spend the night since they officially became a couple--work and her brother had kept her fairly busy, and they'd only managed to spend a few hours here and there together.

"Same here. I'm almost looking forward to school. At least then we'll be able to see each other during the day."

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "You could always quit your job."

"Brilliant idea, ace. I'll just pull money out of my ass. How's that sound?"

He made a face at her, and she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Keep that up," he mumbled, moving his lips to her neck, "and I'll buy you anything you want. You'll never have to work again."

"Tempting," she answered, arching her neck, "but I think I'll pass for now."

"Your loss." He brought his lips back to her mouth and kissed her once more.

Abby let herself enjoy it for a few minutes before putting her hands on his chest and gently pushing him away. "We probably shouldn't do this here. I mean, if your grandparents or whoever were to walk in right now..."

John moaned in frustration, but moved off of her nonetheless. "I know." He forced himself to take a few deep, calming breaths before looking at her again. "Can I get a raincheck?"

A grin spread itself across her face. "Absolutely." Just then, her eyes widened and she flew into an upright position. "Oh, my God. Susan's coming home today!" She glanced over at the clock, then stood up and started bouncing on the bed. "She's gonna be home in a couple of hours!"

"All right, all right. We'll go see her a little later on, grab her for dinner or something."

"Noooo." She dropped down to her knees beside John. "I wanna be there when she gets home. I haven't seen her in two weeks. I've missed her so much."

"She's going to be busy unpacking and stuff. We should give her some time."

"She's spent two weeks solid with her entire family. I think she's going to need to be rescued a little earlier than that."

"But I wanna spend some time alone with you for a little while."

Abby sighed in frustration. "You can spend time with me later. I want to see her ASAP. Please?"

He arched an eyebrow at her. "And if I say no?"

She batted her eyes and leaned over him in what she hoped was a seductive manner. "Let me put it this way. We can over there soon, spend time with _your_ best friend since the age of five, and you'll get to have me all to yourself later on, or I can _walk_ home, spend time alone with her, and I'll tell what terrible boyfriend you are. What's it gonna be?"

"I guess we're going to see Susan."

She flung herself at him, hugging him with all of her might. "Thank you! I didn't want to have to bad-mouth you."

"You owe me."

She pinched his arm and got out of bed. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, dear. I get the shower first."

"Just leave some hot water for me!" he called her retreating form. The only reply he received was the bathroom door shutting behind her, but he was fairly certain he could hear her laughing.

------------------------------------

John wasn't even able to put his car into park before Abby practically wripped the door open and flung herself out. Susan and her family had apparently just gotten home because they were busy unloading the car. Abby had already run across the lawn and hurled herself into Susan's arms before he'd even gotten out of the car.

"Hey, stranger. Welcome home," he called, hurrying to catch up, realizing just how much he'd missed Susan while she'd been away. Abby released her and gave John room to get in a hug. "We've missed you."

"Sweet mother of pearl, I've missed you guys, too," she answered, reaching out an arm to draw in Abby for a group hug. "Way too much time as 'happy family,'" she mumbled under her breath. She released them and stepped back. "Just let me finish upacking all this stuff and we can go do something. I'll be ten minutes at the most. Probably less, because now I have motivation to hurry."

"Can we help with anything?" Abby asked, eager to speed up the process.

"Nah, we've got it. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"You better be," John said. "Because I think this one's about ready to pee her pants."

Abby did nothing to deny it--she continued bouncing on the balls of her feet, grinning like an idiot. "I can't help it. I've missed her!"

"If you pee your pants, I'm never speaking to you again," Susan answered, grinning.

Abby rolled her eyes. "I'll try to contain myself."

"You do that. I'll be back in a few minutes." With that, she grabbed as many bags as she could carry and hurried into her house as fast as could, commanding her family to do the same.

Once they were inside, John looked at his girlfriend and smiled. "Feel better now?"

"A little. It's good to see her again."

"Yeah, it is," he answered, ambling back toward his car, Abby following suit. "I'm glad you decided we should come see her right away. I really didn't realize how much I missed her until now. Of course, I've been a little distracted the past week." He leered at her playfully.

"Sure, blame it all on me. It's always the woman's fault." She instinctively walked around the car to get in on the passenger side before she realized they weren't actually going anywhere yet. She turned and looked at John helplessly, who had an amused expression on his face. "I need help."

"Ooh, baby, I can help you," he answered, placing his arms on either side of her, pinning her to the SUV.

"Not that kind of help."

He craned his neck to look over the top of the car, checking for signs of life from Susan's house before returning his attention to Abby. He gently brushed his lips across hers before trying to move away. "Well, if that's the way you feel..."

Abby grabbed the front of his t-shirt and tugged. "Get back here." Willingly, he obliged, kissing her once more.

"So," he mumbled between kisses. "If I left for a couple of weeks, would you react like this?"

"Oh, I'd be worse," she said, her voice an octave lower than usual. "I'd probably throw you on the ground and...I don't know...dry-hump you, or something."

He chuckled, still trying to kiss her. "It'd almost be worth going out of town just to see that happen."

"No more talking. Just kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as she could get, placing his lips upon hers once more, and the world around them disappeared.

"Whoa!"

Quickly, almost guiltily, the couple jumped apart to find Susan staring at them, her mouth hanging open, her eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets.

"Done unpacking already?" John asked, attempting nonchalance.

Ignoring him, Susan managed to sputter, "I'm guessing I missed something while I was gone."

Abby and John exchanged a quick glance. "Yeah, you could say that," she responded, shuffling her feet, not quite sure where to look.

"Does this mean you two are...?"

John grinned and reached for Abby's hand. "Yeah."

Susan shook her head, still trying to connect the dots in her mind. "How? Where? When? No, wait." She held up her hand to stop them as they tried to answer. "I don't want to do this here. Let's go Starbucks or something and get some coffee and talk there."

He shrugged. "Whatever you want to do."

"Oh, believe me, it's what I want to do."

They all piled into the car and began the quest for coffee. "I do want to say one thing, though."

"What's that?" Abby asked.

"It's about damn time."

-------------------------

"Okay," Susan said, once they'd gotten their drinks and found a relatively quiet table. "I need details and I need them now."

"Well," Abby began. "Last Friday, I went over to John's house after work because you weren't here and I felt like talking. Anyway, we were sitting out by the pool--"

"Seducing her with your pool. Very slick, my friend," Susan teased, winking at her friend.

"You know me--player to the core."

Abby cleared her throat in mock irritation. "May I continue?" Taking their silence as a "yes," she carried on. "As I was saying, we sitting by the pool, talking about whatever, and he leaned over and kissed me."

"Nicely done."

"So, I kissed him back. And we wound up making out by the pool."

"Wow. If I didn't know you two so well, I'd say that was almost kinda hot."

"It _was_ hot, Susan," John said. "You weren't there."

"And good thing I wasn't. If I had been, you two would still be sitting around, twiddling your thumbs." Neither of them objected, recognizing the truth of her statement. "So, does anyone else know about you two? I mean, like your parents, grandparents..."

"Well, considering Gamma walked in on us going at it on the couch the next day, I'd say she managed to put two and two together."

Susan cringed. "That sucks. Was she pissed?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I think she's kinda happy for us, actually. She did put a few restrictions on us, though."

"Such as?"

"Well, we're still allowed to have sleep-overs. If it's the three of us, it's business as usual, we're free to do our thing. Same thing if it's just you and me, Sus. However, if it's just me and Abby...well, she's allowed to spend the night with me in the same bed, which I still find pretty amazing."

"But..."

"But, we have to keep my bedroom door open at all times, and we're not allowed to make out while in that room. If we want to kiss elsewhere in the house, that's fine, as long as it's in a room with no door or a door that's open."

"Yeah, that's definitely pretty cool," Susan agreed.

"Well," Abby said, "her reasoning behind it was that she knew that if she forbade us to spend time together or whatever, we'd sneak around and probably wind up doing something stupid. This way, she can know where we are and what we're doing, but also show that she can trust us to not abuse this and to be mature about this whole thing."

"But not trust you two enough with a closed door, right?"

"At this point, I don't think either of us would trust ourselves with a closed door. We're two hormonal teenagers--no one has any reason at all to trust us alone in a room with a bed."

Susan threw her head back and laughed. "Good point." She looked at her two friends and smiled. "I have to say that I'm really happy for you guys. You look happy together and you make a really cute couple. But I'm also _so_ glad that I don't have to be caught in the middle anymore. It was exhausting knowing that you both liked each other and not being able to say anything about it."

They at least had the good grace to smile sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry about that," John said. "Neither of us meant to put you in that kind of position."

She waved her hand, dismissing his apology. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you two found your way to each other."

John looked over at Abby and smiled happily. "Me, too." He leaned over and gave his girlfriend a tender kiss.

"Oh, God. I'm going to have to live with this now, aren't I?"

The couple broke away from each other and smiled at their friend. " 'Fraid so," Abby confirmed. "Though I suppose we could try to keep the affection to a minimum."

"Good. I don't want to have to start carrying around barf bags everywhere I go."

With that remark, Susan was hit in the face by two crumpled up napkins.

* * *

Author's notes: Wow...I didn't think this chapter would ever make it. Between moving and internet problems and something going wiggy with Word Perfect and me almost throwing this fic out all together, I'm just amazed that I managed to crank this out. **HUGE** thanks go out to Courtney...she knows why. Thanks for being such a great friend, dude. You rock. I wouldn't have gotten through this one if I didn't have you as my personal cheerleader. You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and dedicate this chapter to her. She deserves at least that much. No ETA on the next chapter, but since I already have some ideas for it, I'm hoping by the end of the month. In fact, it may have to be, or else someone might not let me visit her. Anycrap, I hope this was worth the wait. If you'd like, leave a review. If you don't want to, well...I'm not holding a gun to your head. It's a free world, do what you want. But reviews are appreciated (and loved and adored). 


	9. Chapter 9

--disclaimers and all usual nonsense still in effect

--author's notes still at the end

* * *

A soft, autumn wind blew across the field, carrying with it a hint of the cold winter to come. But for now, John and Abby were quite content to lay on the grass forever, wrapped in each other's arms, gazing at the stars.

"John," she finally whispered, breaking the peaceful silence. "Thank you for dinner tonight."

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "No problem. I think we both earned it considering the first few weeks of school have been hell. And I really wanted to spend some time with you. I feel like we never get to see each other."

"Which is ironic, considering we have 3 classes together every day."

"I know. It's just not the same."

"Yeah, I know. This is nice." She was silent for a moment before continuing. "Most guys would take their girlfriend to a movie after dinner," she looked up at him, mirth twinkling in her eyes. "But my boyfriend chooses to take me to some secluded field in the vast property behind his house. One has to wonder exactly what he has in mind."

"Nothing sinister, I promise. I thought about doing a movie or something, but it's just that we get to spend so little time actually alone, away from prying eyes and nosy friends..."

"I'm teasing you, John. This was a great idea. And this is probably one of the last few times we'll actually be able to comfortably be outside until some time in May." She lifted her head a little, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I couldn't have imagined a more perfect night."

They were quiet for a few more minutes until John spoke up again. "You know, at the risk of sounding cliche, it really _is_ amazing how many stars you can see out here. Even trying to spot them around my house can be tough. But, man, out here...it looks amazing."

"You're right," Abby agreed. "You do sound cliche."

He poked her in the side, causing her to giggle. "Thanks for the support, darling."

"Anytime, dear. That's what I'm here for."

"To insult me?"

"No. To keep you from sounding like a Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movie."

"Well, I appreciate the efforts on your behalf."

"Anything for you."

"'Anything,' you say?" he asked playfully, leaning over to kiss her neck.

Abby's eyes fluttered shut and she tilted her head to give him better access. "And you said you didn't have anything sinister planned."

"This isn't sinister," he insisted, his voice somewhat muffled. "This is just two kids, spending some time alone."

"Oh, is that was this is called nowadays?"

"According to my dictionary, yes it is."

"I'll have to take a look at your dictionary then, because mine--" She never got to finish her thought because at that moment, John put his lips on hers, effectively silencing her, and shoving all rational thought from her brain. Not that she was about to complain. Truthfully, the time they actually had alone, to be a couple, was so limited, that she would have been more than content to just lay there with him, if that's all they were up for. But being able to kiss him without a door that had to be open or people who could wander in at any time was better than anything she could have hoped for.

Neither knew who initiated it--whether it was John adjusting himself so that he could lay on top of Abby, trying to get as close as possible, or Abby, who grabbed his arm to pull him on top of her, eager for the contact--but within moments, John's body was against Abby's, pushing her into the soft grass. Their arms were wrapped around each other, keeping themselves as close together as could be without somehow being fused together as one person.

The kiss started out innocent enough--or at least as innocent as their kissing had been thus far. But by some unspoken, mutual agreement, they began to slowly explore new territory. Their hands began to investigate areas they hadn't allowed themselves to before. In the past, their actions had always been frantic, rushed, slightly nervous, always expecting someone to walk in and stop them. But tonight...tonight, there was no hurry. They could do what they wanted at their own pace.

John's hands traveled slowly down Abby's sides, coming to rest on her hips, part of him a little nervous about pushing too far. But Abby's legs fell open, cradling him between her thighs, inviting him to explore as little or as much as he wanted. So he allowed his hands to slowly travel farther, gently caressing the sides of her legs, or at least what he could through the soft fabric of her pants.

Abby's hands had not been idle, though she'd been more interested in feeling skin. She'd found the hem of his shirt, then slid her hands beneath it, entranced with silky-smoothness of his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing and relaxing as he shifted around. A small smile came to her lips when felt him shudder as she trailed a fingernail lightly up and down his spine. She enjoyed that she could get that kind of reaction from him.

Slowly, instinctively, driven by an almost primitive force neither of them could name, John's hips began to push slowly against Abby's. The shift was so gradual that neither noticed it begin, and by the time he realized what he was doing, he wasn't sure if he hadn't been doing it the entire time. It felt natural, right, like it was something he was supposed to do. He was sure that there was nothing in the world that could feel better than what he was doing at that very moment. Until Abby's hips began to reciprocate, pushing gently against his, their rhythm perfectly timed, moving to an ancient beat that neither could hear but both could feel.

It felt exquisite.

At one point, John heard Abby let out a little moan and was immediately concerned, even if he couldn't bring himself to stop his actions. He did manage to briefly pull his lips from hers and ask, "Are you all right?" hoping it came out sounding worried as opposed to eager for more.

To which she responded, quiet, out of breath, "Don't stop," and captured his lips once more. A demand he was more than happy to oblige.

Eventually, John's hands found their way to the hem of Abby's shirt, where they paused for a few moments, gently playing with the skin at her waist before sliding under completely. He somehow couldn't find the courage to go more than halfway up her torso, but it was enough for now. All he needed to feel was her. Her and her velvety-soft skin. He couldn't get enough of it. His fingers circled her belly button, danced up and down her sides, stroked her ribs as if he were strumming a guitar. It was too much, and it was not enough. Nothing with her would ever be enough.

His hands, of their own volition, gradually began to explore new territory. They reached higher and searched lower, desperate to find new parts of Abby, parts they hadn't yet touched, parts that no one had touched. Perhaps that's how he came to realize that not only was one of his hands on her breast, but it was also gently rubbing, squeezing, and caressing. Instantly, he froze and jerked his hand away as if it had been burned. He pulled away from her and stared, wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights, panting heavily.

Thoroughly confused, Abby's eyes opened to see a terrified-looking John staring back at her. "What? What's wrong?"

"I--I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--uh--you know...I mean..."

Slowly, she realized what he was trying to say--he was apologizing for groping her. She really hadn't even noticed what he'd been doing until he'd stopped. Everything had felt so good, so amazing, one sensation after another, that nothing had registered as individual actions. Rather, it had all swirled together into one big blur of sensory...well, not overload, but something that was close, but much more bearable.

She smiled at him and whispered, "It's okay."

He looked stunned. "What?"

"I said it's okay. I don't mind--not in the least." She paused, swallowing hard. She knew what she wanted to feel and she knew what she wanted him to do, but saying it was a different story altogether. "I want you to touch me."

His already wide eyes opened even futher. "Seriously."

She nodded her head vigorously. "Yeah, seriously. I want...your hands on me. Please don't stop." She noticed that he still looked a little uncertain, so she removed one of her hands from its position under his shirt and brought it up to gently stroke his face. "I mean it." And to show him that she was serious, she took his hand in hers and slowly moved it back underneath her shirt.

His eyes closed once more, though she wasn't sure if it was in anticipation, or fear, or maybe both, but she knew that she wanted him to look at her, to know that this really was okay.

"John, look at me." She waited until he complied and stared at him for a few seconds, trying to somehow let her own eyes show her trust of him. "This is me. It's just me. You know me. There's nothing to worry about. I want this just as much as you do." With that, she moved his hand the remaining few inches until it was once more upon her breast, their eyes still locked with each other, though her breathing a little heavier at the feeling of his hands on her body.

For a few moments, all could do was concentrate on what Abby was allowing him to do. He knew he needed a few moments to let it all sink in before he could attempt to continue with what he'd been doing before. However, Abby moaned again, her eyes sliding shut once more, and he brought his lips down to hers with a renewed passion, more eager than ever.

Abby, for her part, wasn't quite sure where her courage was coming from. She didn't know what had made her absolutely sure that John's hands on her were nothing to fear. She knew that if it were some other guy, some guy she didn't care about nearly as much, he wouldn't have gotten nearly as far as John had. Something about being with John made her feel as if everything was right in the world and that nothing they did together could be wrong.

With that thought in mind, she began to grab handfuls of his shirt, bunching it up in her hands, pulling it up to his neck. He knew what she wanted and very briefly pulled himself away, only long enough to rip his shirt off over his head, tossing it away to some unknown location, before bringing himself back down to her, holding her close once more.

It was a good feeling. Nothing but his smooth skin beneath her hands. But it wasn't enough. Smiling a little, she pushed with all of her strength until he was the one flat on his back and she was straddling him. Almost reluctantly, she pulled herself to a sitting position and crossed her arms in front of her chest, grabbing the hem of her shirt in both hands. With a somewhat tentative grin, she pulled it over her head, sending it sailing off into the general vicinity of his own shirt. Only now, she wasn't quite sure what to do. She sat there, clad only in a bra from the waist up, her arms hanging limply at her sides, waiting for a reaction.

Slowly, he brought a hand up to her face and gently trailed one finger down from her chin, between her breasts, coming to rest on her naval. He paused there, silently letting her know that it was her turn. She leaned down and began kissing him once more. No holds barred. The feeling of skin on skin was incredible. It was like nothing either of them had ever felt before.

Their kissing grew more intense. They hands began to take more liberties. Their hips were grinding together in a frenzy, not quite sure what they were trying to accomplish with the barriers of pants and underwear between them, but trying to accomplish something nonetheless.

Suddenly, Abby pulled away, grinning at John devilishly. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked, her hips still moving against his, enjoying the feel of this even newer territory.

He just rolled his eyes, and though his skin was already flushed from their activities, she was fairly certain he turned a slightly darker shade of red. "So sue me," he answered, pulling her face back down to his.

A few minutes later, without warning, he moved into a sitting position, keeping her firmly in her position on his lap. This felt even better than anything else had. In this position, they could get closer to each other, feel more skin, hold each other tighter. It was just what they wanted. Abby moved her legs so they were wrapped around his back, pushing the pelvises closer together. John's lips traveled from her lips, down her neck, to her shoulders, where he found her bra straps were in the way so he pushed them off her shoulders. He moved his lips further down, down to her chest, where he gently kissed the tops of her breasts, nuzzled his face in her cleavage. He glanced at Abby, trying to gauge her reaction. He assumed it was positive, seeing as how her head was thrown back, her eyes tightly shut, and her mouth was hanging open ever so slightly, soft noises of what he presumed to be pleasure escaping her lips.

The sight was too much for him, so he returned his lips to hers once more, but kept one hand on her front, one hand on her back. He wanted to feel everything all at once and was cursing himself for not having enough hands.

Somehow, deep within the passion-induced haze in his brain, he realized that their hands were straying lower and lower than they'd ever dared before. In fact, they were each gently stroking the skin that lay hidden just underneath the waistbands of their pants. It slowly dawned on him what it where it was it seemed like the night was heading, and he didn't know if either of them were quite ready for that.

"Abby," he whispered, drawing his lips millimeters away from hers.

"Mmmm," she answered, chasing after him.

"No, Abby." He brought his hands up to the nape of her neck, gently holding either side of her face. "Open your eyes."

His request took a few moments to register, but her eyes slowly fluttered open. "What?"

He took a deep, calming breath before continuing. "I think we should stop."

She groaned in frustration. "No. Why?"

He sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "For starters? We've only been going out for, what? Five weeks?"

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"I don't know if we're really ready to make this next step. Not to mention that we're only sixteen, and if our parents, or my grandparents, found out that we did this, we'd be dead."

"So? Most adults only go out once or twice before sleeping with each other. And I know of people younger than us who care a lot less about each other who have done this. And how would they find out."

"They have their ways. They always have their ways. And just because other people have done it already doesn't mean that we have to. And I can give you one more good reason why now is not the right time."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"You're not on the pill and I don't have any condoms."

She chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You know, I think of all your reasons why we shouldn't do this, that was the best one." She sighed, and pulled away slightly so she could look him in the eyes. "Okay. We'll stop."

"For the record, I just want you to know much I want you."

"How much."

"So much that I can't see straight. So much that I'm not even going to be able to stand up straight for at least another ten minutes."

She grinned and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks." They were silent for a moment before she spoke up again. "Well, I think we finally really figured out why we're not allowed to be alone together."

John threw his head back and laughed. Abby joined in a few moments later, and their laughter could be heard echoing over the open field.

* * *

Oh dear GAWD. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to write. Mainly because I suck so much at this kind of writing. Gah. Oh, but I hope I did it justice. That was another reason why this chapter was so hard...making it believable, making it real. How far can they go without going too far? Oy. So not easy. Anyway, **MAJOR** shout-outs to Courtney, my partner in crime. I'm dedicating this chapter to her, too, but for entirely different reasons than the last one. She knows why. Hey...can you guys believe I got another chapter out so quickly? How unlike me is that? The next few chapters...hehehe. Those should be out in the somewhat near future. hehehehe...I'm laughing because only Courtney knows what's going to happen...hehehe...and she hates me already for torturing her like this. Have faith in me, though, guys...I'll get us all to the end of this, safe and sound if you promise to stick with me through this. And, I think I'm just babbling at this point. Yeah, so, that's all I got. Except...**HI ALEX!!! WE MISS YOU OVER HERE!!!**


	10. Chapter 10, part 1

John and Abby walked around the edge of the high school football field, huddled in heavy jackets to shield themselves from the harsh late-fall wind. Though they were walking close together, side-by-side, they weren't touching. Their hands, which were almost always clasped together, were held tightly against their own bodies. To Abby, this distance between them, small as it was, spoke volumes.

For some reason that remained unknown to Abby, John had been acting very strange the past few days. She couldn't put her finger on it, exactly--he'd been holding her hand at school, kissing her between classes, keeping his arm draped across her shoulders at lunch, but he'd seemed...distant. Something in his demeanor let her know that something was on his mind.

They'd been dating for two months now, and aside from the fact that she felt she knew him very well--almost better than she knew herself at times--he wasn't acting like the same John as the one she'd spent almost all of her time with for the past year. Since they had started dating, not a day had gone by when they didn't at least talk on the phone for an hour or so. More often than not, when they weren't at school, they were together, even if it was just to do homework. Nonetheless, neither seemed to enjoy spending a day without some sort of contact with the other, so the fact that he'd only called her twice all week and she hadn't seen him at all after school confused and upset her more than she cared to admit.

She had no idea what could have caused this shift in him. He'd been fine all last weekend. They'd hung out with Susan, gone out on their own a couple of times, and even managed to find one of those rare moments when they were completely alone together. The whole time, he'd been his usual self. But on Monday morning, as soon as he'd stopped to pick her and Susan up for school, she could tell that something was on his mind. She'd figured that if something was bothering him, he'd tell her in his own time. She didn't want to push him. But here it was Friday, and she was starting to get a little freaked out. So, she'd been almost relieved when he'd called her up a few hours after school had let out that day and asked if she'd mind if he came to pick her up because he wanted to talk to her. She'd been kind of suprised that he decided to take her back to school to have this talk, but she figured that he had his reasons.

But instead of opening up, pouring his heart out as she'd expected him to, they'd been walking in absolute silence for over an hour. It was getting to the point of being absurd. She didn't mind at all taking a walk with her boyfriend at night on what had been one of the coldest days of the season so far; in general, she didn't care where they were or what they were doing as long as they were together. But this--being with him while he was obviously not here with her--was getting to be too much for her to handle.

Finally daring to break the stony silence, she managed to ask, "Is everything okay?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"Are you sure? Because you've been kinda...odd this week, and I've been a little worried--"

"I said I was fine, didn't I?" he snapped, not even sparing a glance in her direction.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly, while he kept walking. Not in the entire time they'd known each other had she seen him get mad, and he'd never been anything less than wonderful to her. She didn't know how to take this at all.

A few moments later, he came to a halt and his shoulders sagged. He turned to look at her, a remorseful look in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly, walking back to her. "I shouldn't have done that."

Abby knew that she should tell him being pissy to her was, in fact, completely uncalled for, but she couldn't get her brain to function like that. All she knew was that something was bothering him and she wanted to help him fix it.

"John, what's wrong? Did something happen at home? Is everyone all right?"

"No, everything's fine at home."

She swallowed hard before asking her next question. "Well...is it me? Did I do something...?"

"No! God, Abby, you've done nothing wrong. You're one of the most amazing people I know. I don't ever want you to feel as if you're to blame for anything."

"Ooookaaaay," she answered slowly, more confused than ever.

He sighed. "It's me. It's all me."

"What's all you?"

He didn't respond. Instead, he just turned and continued walking.

Part of her wanted to run after him, beg him to tell her what was going on, but a bigger part of her wouldn't let herself chase him. He'd brought her out here, he'd said he wanted to talk. She wasn't going to punish herself for something she hadn't done.

"John, stop it. Stop walking away."

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows lifted in confusion.

"Don't walk away from me. And don't push me away. You said you wanted to talk, so talk. If all you're going to do is sulk like this, then I'm going home. I don't want to put up with this. If something's wrong, if something's going on, I want you to tell me about it. I want to help, but I can't if you shut me out like this. I'm your girlfriend, remember? I'm here for you."

Abby thought she saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but it was gone before she could be sure, and he sat down on the ground, burying his head in your hands. "You're right," he told her, hearing her walk to him, sitting beside him. "I know you're right. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

He shook his head and mumbled something that she couldn't quite make out.

She put her hand on his arm and gave a little squeeze. "John...please, talk to me. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this."

He looked up and found Abby's eyes looking imploring back at him. "Abby, I..." He buried his face once more. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" She received nothing but another shake of his head. "Can't do what?"

There was quiet for several very long minutes. The only sound that could be heard were the few remaining dead leaves, still clinging to their branches, rustling in the bitterly cold wind. Finally, he raised his head, but didn't look at her. He kept his eyes focused on something only he could see on the other side of the field. "Abby...I think...I think we should see other people."

Her entire body went stiff. The nervous fluttering that had been in the pit of her stomach for the past few days spread throughout her entire body, numbing her with shock. "What?" Her voice was less than a whisper, but as loud as she could manage around her suddenly closed-up throat.

"I think we should see other people," he repeated, his voice hollow.

"But...why? You just said that I hadn't done anything wrong and..." her voice trailed off, no longer able to find words.

"You haven't."

She felt her body start to shake. This couldn't be happening. She had no idea as to why it would be happening. It didn't make sense. Nothing was making sense. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

"I think we just need to...I don't off a little. We've been so intense for the past couple of months, and I think that maybe we're pushing ourselves to go too far, too fast. Spending some time apart will let things die down a bit."

Abby was still at a loss for words. _Too intense? Everything we've done has been mutual. No one's pushed anyone anywhere._ Instead, she stood up and just started walking. She heard John get to his feet and follow her, but she didn't care--she just kept walking.

He managed to catch up to her, and put a hand on her shoulder, hoping for...something. "Abby..."

She whirled around, her body quaking so hard she could barely stand up. "Don't touch me."

"Please, don't be--"

"What? Don't be what? Don't be upset? You're kidding, right? You're breaking up with me!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Really? Then what exactly are you doing? Because it sure as hell feels like you're breaking up with me."

"I still want to see you, Abby. I just think it might be better for us if we're not exclusive."

"Is there someone else?"

John was honestly shocked. "What?"

"Is there some other girl you want to see? That's usually what 'we should see other people' means. It means there are two people you want to go out with, so you want to try to have your cake and eat it, too. If there's someone else, I'd rather you told me instead of giving me this non-exclusive bullshit."

"Abby...there's no one else but you."

She felt her heart wrench. "If there's no one else, then why are you doing this?" He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off. "Oh, that's right. We're too intense. There's too much pressure."

"Please...don't be like this. It's not like I want to sever all ties with you. I still want us to spend time together. I don't want to just cut you out of my life."

"Too late."

He looked taken aback. "What?"

"It's too late. You either want to be with me or you want to break up with me. I'm not doing this half-way. I'm not going to settle for being with you some of the time, when it's convienent for you, when you're not feeling pressured. I don't want to just be friends. I can't just be your friend, not after all of this."

"But...I don't want to...lose you. You're so important to me."

"If I'm so damn important to you, then why would you hurt me like this for no good reason? 'Too intense' is not a good reason. It's an excuse, and a bad one at that." She felt her eyes well up with tears, so she turned her back on him once more. _Do not let him see you cry. Don't let him know that he can do this to you._

"Now who's shutting who out?" he said, anger tinging his voice.

She felt fury rise up within her, and it was probably for the best that she wouldn't look at--it was easier to be mad this way. "Don't you _dare_ try to play that game with me. You just dumped me; what else am I supposed to do? You have no place to get mad. I'm sorry I didn't react the way you obviously wanted me to. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that it was okay, that I understand, that I'll be your girlfriend whenever you feel the urge, but it's okay that you want to see other people in between. 'Cause, I don't understand, and it's not okay."

"Well, I was hoping we could talk about this like adults--"

"For someone who wants so badly to be an adult, you're acting very much like a kid. A spoiled brat of a child. Someone who wants everything because what he has somehow isn't good enough for him."

"That's not true." The tone of voice changed from anger to pleading. "You're good enough for me. You're too good for me. I just--"

Finally, two tears spilled out of her eyes, cutting warm paths on the frigid skin of her cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. She didn't want him to know that she was crying. "Stop," she whispered. "Just stop. Leave me alone."

John's shoulders sagged in defeat. Nothing about this night had gone the way he'd hoped, though he still wasn't sure what he'd hoped for. "Fine. If that's what you want, I'll leave you alone. I don't want to make you any more pissed off than you already are." They were silent for a few moments before he sighed. "Come on. I'll take you home."

"Just...just go. I'll be fine."

"What? Abby, no. I'm not just going to leave you out here like that."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I'll be fine on my own." She said it with as much conviction as she could muster, even though she didn't feel at all that she'd be okay on her own--not like this.

"No. I'm not--"

"Just go!" she yelled, all the hurt, the anger, the betrayal and resentment she felt at that moment erupting in those two words.

She felt him stand behind her for a while long until he finally seemed to realize that she really wasn't going to accept anything from him. She heard him walk away, but remained facing away from him. Eventually, she let herself turn around, confirming that he'd left. Then, and only then, did she allow herself to experience the pain. She drooped to the ground like a wilting flower, her heart aching so badly that she couldn't cry. She sat on the cold ground for a long time, holding her knees close to her body, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. She tried to tell herself that she hated him, that if he was going to be like this, she'd be better off without him. But she couldn't make herself believe it. Somehow, through the haze of her raging emotions, a lone tear trickled down her face. It was enough to break the dam. Suddenly she was sobbing and couldn't stop. And there was only one way to describe what she felt.

Heartbroken.


	11. Chapter 10, part 2

Susan stood at the edge of the clearing in the woods behind Abby's house, silent. Watching. Abby was just sitting there, her back up against a tree, quietly puffing away at one cigarette after another. She was concerned. It wasn't Abby's demeanor that worried her--it was the fact that she was alone. It was a Friday night, and John Carter was nowhere in sight. Susan couldn't really remember a Friday night, before or after John and Abby had started dating, that John wasn't around for. Granted, in recent history, Susan hadn't seen much of the couple on Friday nights, but still...something about this just seemed wrong.

Susan had been bored, so she'd called John's cell phone, figuring that if she could locate him, Abby wouldn't be too far behind. But John hadn't answered his cell phone--it hadn't even rung, it'd just gone directly to his voicemail. She'd assumed that his phone either wasn't getting reception, or the pair was at a movie. So, she'd called his house, still determined to track them down. But a housekeeper had told her that John was up in his room, alone, and had asked to not be disturbed for the rest of the night. She nearly became panicked, but called Abby's house before letting her fears get the best of her. Abby's mom had told her that Abby was at home, but sitting outside.

Without further ado, Susan had walked the few hundred yards between their houses, eager to find out exactly what was going on, though she was pretty sure it was nothing, that her imagination was working on overdrive. A quick glance had told her Abby wasn't sitting out front, so she'd changed her course, heading to the backyard. Not spotting her there, either, she'd wandered a little ways into the woods, finding her friend a few minutes later in the clearing that the trio had frequented in the warmer months.

Carefully, she stepped forward, trying to make a little noise so Abby would know someone was coming, but not so much noise that it would freak her out.

"Hey."

"Hey," Abby answered, not looking up.

Susan cautiously sat down on the cold ground, wrapping her arms around her curled-up legs for warmth. "What's up?"

Abby took a drag on her cigarette before answering. "Nothin'."

It was clearly a lie. Susan studied Abby's profile, searching for answers. "Everything all right?"

Another drag. "Yep."

Silence ensued for a few minutes; Susan wasn't quite sure what to say, and Abby didn't seem willing to giving anything longer than one-word answers. "I haven't seen you smoke in a while."

This statement earned two drags before Abby decided to answer. "I haven't had a reason to."

"And you have a reason to now?"

"Oh, indeed I do," Abby said, letting out a short, mirthless laugh.

Susan's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "And what would that reason be?"

Abby remained silent, flicking her finished cigarette away and immediately lighting up a new one.

Susan sighed, partially out frustration and partially out of concern. "Abby, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I never said I needed help."

"Okay, fine, let me put it this way. You're one of my best friends, and if something has happened, I want to be able to help."

"I really don't think there's anything you _can_ do to help at this point."

"Will you let me try?"

Abby was quiet, mentally debating whether or not to tell Susan. At long last, she spoke in a whisper, "John broke up with me."

Susan was floored. She didn't think there was anything in the world that could shock her more. Never in a million years would she have imagined that this could be the reason that Abby was so upset. "What?"

"You're not going to make me say it again, are you?"

"He...he _broke up with you_?"

Abby nodded ever so slightly, trying not wince at the sound of those words.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"He must have had some reason."

"That's the thing; he didn't. He didn't have any reason at all."

"Well, what did he say?"

"Just that we need to cool off a little and that we're putting too much pressure on ourselves, and that maybe it'd be better if we saw other people."

"He said what? That's complete bullshit."

"I know."

"'See other people?' Are you kidding me? He's wanted to be your boyfriend since he met you, and now he wants to see other people?"

For the first time since Susan had arrived, Abby turned to look at her friend, and Susan was shocked to see a tear trickling down Abby's cheek. In the entire time they'd known each other, she'd never seen Abby cry. Not once. Not even during a sappy movie. Her face had crumbled from its stony facade into a look of unmitigated pain. Susan felt her heart break for the other girl, and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

"Oh, Abby. I'm so sorry. I really can't believe it. I thought...I don't know, once you two got together, you'd be together forever."

"I know. I kinda thought that, too."

"Did you two have a fight or something?"

"No. Nothing happened. He's been acting funny all week, though, and I still don't know why. He said nothing happened at home, I didn't do anything wrong...he just broke up with me. Everything was fine last week, and now this. I don't know where it came from. Oh, but you want to know the worst part?"

Susan was almost afraid to hear it. "What?"

"Know how he said he wants us to see other people? Well, he said he still wants to see me, too. He wants to see me and other girls. There's got to be some other girl he's interested in. That's all I can think of." She looked up at Susan, tears still spilling from her eyes at a fast pace. "You'd tell me if he'd mentioned something about another girl, right? I wouldn't be happy with it, but I'd feel better if I knew that there was some sort of reason behind this."

"To the best of my knowlegde, there's no one but you." She was surprised when that comment made Abby cry harder. "What I'd say?"

"No, it's just...that's what John said, too. He said there was no one but me. If there's no one but me, why did he break up with me? It doesn't make any sense."

"You're right. It doesn't make sense. I can't understand this at all. First thing tomorrow, I'm going to go talk to him about all this."

"No! Susan, no. I don't want you in the middle of all this. It was bad enough that you had to be stuck in the middle of us last time around, I don't want you to have to go through it again."

"This is for my own peace of mind. I need to get to the bottom of this. I need to figure out why he's being such a...a...tool."

Abby shook her head, sniffling. "It's not fair to you to be in the middle of all of this."

"Not fair to me? Screw that, Abby. He's the one who's being unfair. You're not asking me to be in the middle or keep a secret for you. I'm putting myself in the middle. I need to know what's going on."

"I don't want to cause a rift between you and John. And I don't want you to ever feel like you have to pick sides."

"Why would I have to pick sides?"

"Well, things are going to be different. I can't hang out with him. At least not for a while. But I still want to be your friend. But you've known him most of your life. I'll understand if--"

"Don't say it. Don't even think it. I'm not going to ditch you just because of this. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to be around him right now. He's hurt you. You need space. But you're still my friend. The two of you not being a couple isn't going to change that."

"But..."

"I'll manage my time. If I want to hang out with you, I'll give you a call. If I want to hang out with him, I'll let him know. But honestly, right now, I don't really want to be around him. Not if he's going to treat you like this."

Abby sighed, trying, in vain, to stop her tears. "Susan..."

"I'm serious. And I'd be reacting the same way toward you if you'd treated him like this. Unless you had a damn good reason. From the sound of it, he doesn't have any reason, good or bad. Look, don't worry about me and my part in this right now. You've got a lot on your mind and you don't need something else to worry about. I'm here for you."

With that, Abby buried her face in Susan's shoulder, sobbing what felt like an endless stream of tears. Susan just held her friend closer, trying her best to comfort her.


	12. Chapter 10, part 3

Saturday morning dawned bright, clear, and surprisingly warm for the time of year. The sky was cloudless, and the grass was shiny with dew. Not that Susan noticed. She wouldn't have noticed if it was the hottest day of the year, or the worst snow-storm of the century. She had one thing, and one thing only on her mind--find John Carter and figure out what the hell was going on in his head.

She'd gotten very little sleep the night before. She'd spent the night at Abby's, hoping to lend some sort of comfort to the distraught girl. Abby had managed to fall asleep relatively easily, having worn herself out crying. Susan, however, hadn't been able to stop thinking. And the more she thought, the angrier she became. She just couldn't believe that John would treat someone like this. Least of all Abby. Abby was all he had talked about for the better part of a year. About how he wanted to be with her so badly, and then how happy he was being her boyfriend. She couldn't for the life of her make heads or tails of the situation.

She'd managed to work herself into quite a rage by the time she reached John's house, but she forced herself to calm down once she was at his front door, and even managed to plaster a smile on her face when his butler had invited her in.

Finally, she saw John trotting downstairs, still in his pajamas, looking pretty tired himself, though he seemed genuinely happy to see her. "Hey, Susan. What's up?"

She shrugged. "Does anything have to be up for me to come over?" She fought to keep herself calm. She wanted to talk to him in private, where they wouldn't be interrupted. She didn't want to involve more people in this situation than necessary right now, even though by Monday afternoon, the entire school would know that the power couple of the junior class had split up.

"No, I guess not. If you'll hang on a few minutes, I'll go get dressed and we can do something."

"Nah. I just kinda feel like hanging out here, if you don't mind."

He looked a little confused, but consented. "All right. Come on up, then."

She followed him upstairs, taking deep breaths the entire time, trying to keep herself in check. But once they'd reached his room and she'd shut the door behind them, words just started coming out of her mouth. "What the fuck are you thinking?"

He looked shocked. "Excuse me?"

"Uh, Abby? You know, the one you dumped last night."

"Oh, I get it. What, did she go running to you last night, telling you what a horrible person I am?" he asked angrily.

"Do you really think so little of her? Do you honestly think she would do something like that?"

Susan saw the fight drain out of him, and he slumped down onto his bed. "No. She's not like that."

"Damn straight she's not like that."

"Well, then how'd you find out about it?"

"Long story short, I was bored last night, so I tried to find you guys. You didn't answer your cell phone, and one of your housekeepers told me that, at nine o'clock, you were asleep, alone. So, I kinda worried. Even more so when Abby's mom told me that Abby was sitting outside. And do you know how I found her?"

John shook his head miserably, dreading what he'd hear.

"I found her sitting in the woods, in forty degree weather, chain smoking. I don't think she's smoked in over a year. And you know why? Do you know why she hasn't been smoking? Because she hasn't 'had a reason to.'"

"I had no idea she would--"

"No. You don't get to talk right now. You get to listen. When I'm done, then you can say what you want to say, but I need to get this out." She paused, taking a few breaths, though they did nothing to calm her. "She miserable. She's a wreck. She's so confused and bewildered right now, I don't think she knows which way is up. And this is all because of you. Because you...threw her away without any reason at all. And what is with this 'let's see other people' crap, huh? Since when do you want to see someone other than Abby?"

"I told her--"

But Susan went right on talking, on a roll. "You know, it wasn't easy getting her to talk. She didn't want to talk about it because it hurt her too much. What's worse is she was crying. In the entire time we've known her, have you ever once seen her cry? I know I haven't. I don't know, she just doesn't cry in front of people. So do you realize how upset she must have been to have not only cried, but sobbed in front of me?"

"I...I made her cry?"

"And then some. She actually cried herself to sleep. I didn't know people actually did that until last night. She cares about you, John, a lot. So she's completely lost about this. She's worried that she's done something wrong, and she thinks that there's some other chick you want to see."

"There _is _no one else."

"Then why the hell would you do this to her?!"

"Because there's no one else, Susan! There's no one else for me but her, and there never will be."

She stared at him for several moments, completely bewildered. "You've just lost me."

He sighed and buried his face in his hands, collecting himself, before he tried to continue. "I guess I got scared."

"Of what?"

"Being in love."

Her mind drew a blank. She sank to the floor like a deflated balloon. "You're in love with her?" she asked, her voice finally losing its edge.

"I don't know! I think I am. But how would I know? I've never been in love before."

"But...if you love her, why would you break up with her?"

He smiled half-heartedly. "You're going to think I'm an idiot."

"I already think you're an idiot, so you might as well tell me."

"I'm in love with her, and it scares me. I'm so in love with her that I want to marry her, and I'd elope with her to Vegas right now if it was legal. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to be the father of her children for Christ's sake."

"And that's why you broke up with her?"

"I didn't break up with her because I love her. I broke up with her because I'm terrified of what I feel. I'm only sixteen! I've never even had a girlfriend before her. I have nothing to compare these feelings to, no way to tell if this is real or not. I just..shouldn't feel things like this yet."

"Says who?"

"Life! I don't know. You just...you don't feel things like this when you're sixteen."

"Well, don't you think you should tell her this?"

"Yeah, that's a super idea, Susan. Let's scare her off completely. I don't want to lose her."

"I think it's a bit too late for that."

All of the color drained out of his face. "Don't say that," he whispered, horrified at the thought.

"What did you expect? That you could give her some half-assed excuse and she'd be okay with it? I don't know how much of a future you have with her at this point."

"It wasn't half-assed. I told her that we were moving too fast--"

"That's half-assed. You gave her part of a reason. You should have tried telling her what you really felt. You know, the truth goes a long way with most people. If you'd told her how you really felt, and that it scared you, I imagine she would've been somewhat okay with it. She probably would have worked with you...hell, she might have even felt the same way."

"You think she might...love me, too?"

"I don't think it's impossible. But even if she does, she's not going to admit it now. You have a lot of groveling and explaining to do if you want to have any chance with her ever again. Aside from being unbelievably hurt, she's pretty pissed off, too, and I doubt she's just going to welcome you back with open arms."

He fell back against his bed, covering his face with his arms. "God. I've really screwed things up, haven't I?"

She moved so she was sitting next to him on his bed. "Yep."

"Thanks for sugar-coating it."

"You don't deserve words that are sugar-coated right now."

"If you hate me so much, then why are you bothering with me?"

"I don't hate you, John. Honestly, I don't like you that much right now. Anyone who could hurt someone that much, even if he meant well, is hard to like. But you're my best friend. I've known you my entire life. I'm not going to just throw that away."

He smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"Don't misunderstand, though. I'm not abandoning Abby, either. She's my friend, too, and she needs someone to lean on right now."

"Will you help me get her back?"

"No. You have to do that on your own. You didn't need my help messing it up, so you don't need my help fixing it."

"She's never going to forgive me."

"Maybe she won't. But she's a good person, and she's got a big heart. So, there may be some hope for you. If you're extraordinarily lucky, one day, she might want you back. I wouldn't hold your breath, because it's going to take a long time, but it might happen."

The room was silent for a long time, both having run out words. Eventually, she looked over at him, ready to say something else, but was silenced when she saw tears making their way down his face. John Carter was heartbroken, too.

-----------------------------------------------

Author's Notes: bwahahaha! Oh, come on. You didn't think they'd just live happily ever after, did you? Not only are they Carter and Abby, they're teenage versions of them. Drama and angst are a must. And since I have, essentially, written five chapters in one month, I think I'm taking a break. Not a long one, but a few weeks. We'll see how that goes, though, depending on the amount of hate mail I receive. And considering I've already started jotting ideas down for the next chapter, it may not be too long of a wait. We'll see which way the winds blow, and then...I'll post or not post? Huh? Whatever. Once again, I'm dedicating this to Courtney, and again, for entirely different reasons. Dude...I can't thank you enough for putting up with me. I'm a pain in the ass, and I don't deserve a friend like you, but thank you anyway. You're awesome, and I love you to bits and pieces. Okay, and now that I've been sufficiently mushy and sappy, review me, bitches.


	13. Chapter 11

--same disclaimers

--author's notes at the end

* * *

"It's still weird," Susan announced.

"What's still weird?" Abby asked, pulling her hat more securely over her ears.

"Not riding home with John all the time," she answered, watching his car pull out of the school parking lot.

"I never asked you to walk home with me."

Susan paused before responding. "I guess what I mean is that it's weird that _you_ don't get rides from John anymore. The three of us being together all the time was just so...I don't know, ingrained into my system that the way things are now are just a bit unsettling."

Abby sighed. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn't your fault. You have every right to not want to be around him right now."

"If it's any consolation, it's weird for me, too."

Susan put her arm around her friend's shoulders. "I know it is."

In spite of what she said, life was slowly returning to normal for Abby. Or, at least as normal as it could get without John, seeing as how he'd been a part of her life since she had moved there. Maybe this was a new normal.

It was still tough, even after three weeks. She saw him everyday, but wouldn't look at him, speak to him, nothing. She did her best to pretend he didn't exist; it made life marginally easier for her. She was making friends with a new set of people, so she had others to talk to when Susan was hanging out with John. Not that Susan had abandoned her--she'd kept her promise, and was there for Abby whenever she needed someone. But she was dividing her time between two friends, so Abby had forced herself to meet new people to keep herself occupied.

Even though she was developing new patterns, making new friends, something still felt wrong. Her first instinct was to hang out with John and Susan after school. She had to force herself to take the bus to school, and not wait for John to show up to give her a ride. At times, her hand would involuntarily reach out for his, usually between classes, which was when they'd meet each other in the hallways for a quick hello before the bell rang. It all boiled down to one simple fact--she wanted to be with John.

She felt somewhat pathetic, pining over a guy like this. She thought she should be moving on, dating other people, just like John had wanted them to. She had tried being angry, but found that she couldn't stay mad at him, despite everything that had happened. She was still hurt, but she thought she was hiding it well, even from Susan. She was still as confused as ever about why they'd broken up, and Susan hadn't been willing to give up any information. All she'd told Abby was that John was upset that he'd hurt her, and anything beyond that was for him to tell.

Abby dug around in her bag, finally producing a cigarette and lighter. She looked over her shoulder, making sure they were far enough away from school grounds so she wouldn't get into trouble, then lit up.

Susan couldn't help but frown a little. "When are you going to stop smoking?"

Abby took a few drags before deciding on an answer. "When it stops hurting."

Susan could find no comeback for that one. How could she argue with logic like that, at least given the circumstances?

"And please don't give me the speech."

"What speech?"

"The one where you tell me how bad smoking is and what kind of damage it can do. I'm well-aware of the consequences, and have read the warning label on the side of the box many times. Unfortunately, I just can't bring myself to give a damn."

"Well, can I ask you a question about it?"

Abby lifted an eyebrow in curiousity. "Go ahead."

"What made you start smoking?"

She shrugged. "Control. Or lack there of."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that for me, and a lot of other people, I imagine, smoking is a control thing. I can't control what happens at school, I can't control what happens at home, I can't control the actions of stupid boys, but I _can_ control the action of bringing a cigarette to my mouth and pulling it away. It's marginally comforting. It's not because of the taste, though I personally don't think they taste terrible; it's just so I can have control over _something_."

"Fair enough. It's your life, you do what you want."

Abby let out a short laugh that was filled with anything but mirth. "Right. If I could do what I want, I'd erase the past few weeks and still be with John."

Very tentatively, Susan said, "Well, if that's how you feel, why don't you talk to him?"

"Because it hurts too much. It hurts to look at him, it hurts to be near him...hell, it even hurts to think about him. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around this whole thing. I can't manage to comprehend how someone I cared so much about, who claimed to care about me, who I shared so much with, could do something like this to me. It's bothering me so much that I can barely eat. Right now, it's a struggle to decide which is worse--being awake, or sleeping. Because if I'm awake, I'm thinking about him. But if I'm asleep, I'm dreaming about him. So it's a struggle to decide if I want to stay awake and brood about the situation, or if I want to sleep and have my subconscious attack me. I don't know which way is up or down right now. I've been hurt by too many people that were close to me--this just feels like the last straw. Every time I let someone in, they stomp on my heart. I don't think anything could surprise me anymore, at least not in regards to the way people treat me. So, while I miss him so much it feels like I'm going to split apart at times, I can't be with him. Because if I'm with him, I might kill him."

Susan was momentarily stunned into silence. She'd had no idea that her friend felt like that. She hadn't realized that Abby was hurting that much; she'd assumed that since not much had been said on the matter lately and that Abby had been acting relatively normal at school that it was being dealt with it in private. Instead, she'd been falling apart inside.

"Maybe you should tell him that, then. Tell him how much he's hurt you."

"I can't." Abby took a deep breath, trying to control the trembling of her voice, the tears she felt were on the verge of breaking the surface. "I know that if I tried to talk to him, I wouldn't be able to yell. I'd just cry. That's just the way it comes out. And I don't want him to know that he made me cry. I don't want him to know that he has the ability to hurt me like this. I can't give him that kind of power, even if it's not a power he'd use. I just can't do it. Not yet. I know it'll get easier with time, but right now...it's too much."

Susan searched her mind for words--words that wouldn't sound empty and hollow to Abby, words that wouldn't sound like promises that could never be kept. Nothing came to mind. She just knew she had to be there for Abby, a shoulder she could lean on if it was ever needed.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by the sound of crunching leaves and a heavily-accented voice calling out. "Abby?"

The pair turned around to see Luka Kovac, one of the school's foreign exchange students, striding toward them.

Still trying to compose herself, Abby managed a small smile of greeting, aware that it looked forced. "Hey, Luka. What's up?"

He paused upon reaching the girls, shifting his weight from foot to foot, looking very nervous. "Uhh...can I talk to you for a minute?"

She looked over at Susan, raising an eyebrow. Susan raised one in response, then shrugged and shuffled a few paces away, giving them privacy, but remaining close enough to listen somewhat covertly.

Thoroughly confused, Abby returned her attention to Luka, waiting for him to say something. When he remained silent, she asked, "What can I do for you, Luka?"

"We have a class together," he answered, his voice soft.

"Indeed we do. European history. I imagine that class is easier for you than the rest of us, all things considered," she answered, still baffled.

He answered with a grin. "Yes, it is. American history is what I have trouble with."

"So I'm going to take a guess and say that you don't need a tutor in history."

"No, no tutoring necessary." Silence fell between them again.

"So..." Abby drawled out, still waiting, wondering where this was going.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime," he answered in a rush. Her jaw dropped open in shock. He started talking again before she could object. "I know you spent a lot of time with that guy--John, is it? And I think he's your boyfriend, but--"

"Ex-boyfriend," she corrected, unable to control the touch of bitterness in her voice.

A slow, tentative smile broke out over his face. "You're single, then?"

"So it would appear."

"Then it'd be all right if I took you out? We could have dinner or maybe see a movie?"

Abby let out a deep sigh. "I think it's only fair to let you know...I'm kinda on the rebound right now."

He looked puzzled. "Rebound?"

"Yeah." Then she realized he didn't understand the expression. "It means that I broke up with him very recently and I'm still dealing with it, so any actions I take may be my way of subconsciously trying to see what kind of reactions I'll get from him."

"I'm all right with that."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You are?"

"I just want to get to know you, Abby. You seem like a nice girl, and I think we could have fun together."

"You really don't mind?"

He shrugged. "Yes. And who knows? Maybe you'll decide you like me better." He gave her a playful wink.

She tried to weigh her options. It wasn't easy--the sit-at-home-and-mope option was very appealing. But Luka did seem like a genuinely nice guy who just wanted to get to know her. She wasn't opposed to the idea of making a new friend, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to date anyone again. But he wasn't asking to be her boyfriend, and she'd already let him know that she was still dealing with the break-up, and he was okay with the situation.

"Sure," she finally answered. "We could do something sometime."

Luka's smile nearly split his face in half. "Great. Are you busy Friday?"

"Uhh, I don't think so."

"Good. We'll do something then. I'll see you tomorrow in class and we can talk more about it then, okay?"

"Okay."

"Thank you, Abby. I'll see you tomorrow. We'll have fun, I promise. Bye!" With that, he turned and walked off in the other direction, not waiting for a response, almost seeming afraid that she would change her mind if she had too much time to think about it, which was a genuine possibility.

Shrugging, she turned in the direction of home, wondering if Susan was still waiting for her. Her question was answered when she saw her friend standing a few feet away, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in complete shock, at a total loss for words.

Shrugging again, Abby began walking once more, figuring that Susan would catch up once she'd regained her equalibrium. She was sure the other girl would have plenty to say once the ability to speak returned.

* * *

First of all, I am **SO** sorry this took three months, especially when I said a few weeks. I suck at life. However, almost immediately after I posted chapter ten, the shit hit the fan for me in a big way--a lot happened in a very short amount of time, and I had so much to try and deal with that I couldn't find any motivation to write. What sucks even more is that life was imitating art, or imitating the events of chapter ten. I had a someone whom I considered a very close friend screw me over. Hard. Without any explanations. It was really tough, to put it mildly. So I have to say that parts of this chapter are very personal to me--they came directly from what I was feeling at the time. Abby's little speech about it hurting too much? Yeah, that's stuff I said, almost verbatim. I guess in a way helped me understand what I was putting Abby through, so maybe it made her pain a little more real. I don't know. I just know that I'm still having a tough time getting back into the swing of things, even three months later. Let's just say that the past six months have been hell for me. As usual, I make no promises about future updates, but I do hope to be more frequent about it. Please don't hate me for the way I ended this one. Oh, and I wanted to give a few thanks. I'm not into the review response thing, but there were a couple of reviews of the last chapters that really stuck out to me, so I wanted to thank **windswept butterfly**, **TinyStar**, and **lemonjelly** for their kind words. It meant a lot to me. Of course, so did all the other reviews. The amount I received was amazing, so thanks to all of you. BTW, lemonjelly--you asked if I have any original stuff. Well, not so much anymore, though one of my friends and I are tentatively working on a book. If anything happens with that, I'll let you know. So...thanks for reading my obscenely long author's notes. You're all awesome. Here's to 300 reviews! 


	14. Chapter 12

"Yo, Carter! Why do you look like your dog died?"

John looked up from his slumped position next to Susan's locker at the sound of his friend's voice. He attempted a weak smile, but was fully aware that she could see right through it. He shrugged, not bothering with a verbal response; he knew that she already knew the answer to that one.

"Moping isn't going to help you, you know," she told him, concentrating on her locker combination.

"Ironically enough, it seems to be doing the trick for me at the moment."

Susan smiled at him sympathetically, managing to yank open her locker door at the same time. She shoved in the books she wouldn't need for the weekend, then slammed the door shut, pressing her palms against it for a few moments, almost as if she was afraid the books would try to break out of their confinement. "Well, are you ready to get out of here, or would you rather do your sulking at school?"

"No, I prefer doing the bulk of it in private, thanks." With that, the pair pushed their way into the crush of students heading for the doors, all eager to begin their weekend. They'd only manage to go a few feet when John froze in his tracks, his eyes going wide, his jaw slackening, his face paling slightly.

"What? What happened?" Susan asked, coming to a halt beside him, trying to locate the source of his horror. She cringed when her eyes came to rest on Abby, who at that moment in time was standing by her own locker, being greeted by Luka. She watched as the exchange student leaned down, pressed a kiss to her cheek, then slung his arm over her shoulders. Abby didn't return the gesture, but she didn't push him away, either. They soon disappeared into the flow of students, but Susan knew those few moments would be enough to haunt John for the rest of the weekend.

John remained frozen, horrified at what he'd seen. "What...how...what the hell was that?" Susan remained silent. "Susan...what was that?"

She sighed, though wasn't sure if it was in frustration or sympathy. "John, don't-"

"What's going on with them?" he demanded, finally turning his head to look at his friend. "What's going on?"

Susan was a bit alarmed at the steady rise of panic in his voice, and wondered briefly if he was going to get hysterical. "Seriously. Don't. I told you, I'm not getting in the middle of this. It's not my place, and I don't need the added drama."

"But..."

"No 'buts.' If you want to know, you have to ask her yourself. Now get your ass in gear." With that, she grabbed his arm and started dragging him along.

He managed to snap himself out of his stupor enough to walk unassisted, but couldn't stop himself from asking, "Well, can you at least tell me how long this has been going on?"

Susan hesistated, not wanting to answer--not because she didn't want to get involved, but more because she didn't want to hurt him further.

"Susan, please."

"About three weeks," she finally mumbled.

"Three weeks!" he yelped, drawing a few looks from the few other students still left in the hallway. "Three...wha..."

"What did you expect, John? She couldn't exactly wait for you forever, you know. And it's not really fair of you to expect that she would."

"I didn't expect her to wait forever...I just didn't think she'd move on so quickly."

She felt for her friend. She'd never been through his situation before, but she knew that he was hurting. As a result, it made her hurt. And she really wanted her friend to not be in pain. "Well, if it makes any difference to you, Luka's the one who did the asking."

"I don't blame him, really, for asking her out. Any guy would be nuts to not want to spend time with her-"

"So, I guess that makes you certifiable."

He ignored her, continuing with his train of thought. "I just can't believe she would so readily accept. I mean...I can't imagine being with anyone else."

They finally reached the main doors, and Susan remained silent as they made their way into the parking lot and piled into his car, beginning the journey to his house. It was several miles before she spoke up again. "You hurt her," she said softly.

"What?"

"You hurt her! You hurt her a lot. Even if she does feel the same way about you, she's not going to admit it. No one would. You can't fault her for attempting to move on."

"I don't fault her for it."

"Well, it sure sounds like you do from over here."

"Look, logically, I know that what I did was dumb, and I have no right to think that she'd be willing to forgive me or wait around for me to get my head on straight, especially since I didn't give her a reason to think it wasn't on straight to begin with. Aside from dumping her out of the blue," he corrected hastily, stopping Susan before she could add anything. "I know all of this. But that doesn't mean I can stop my heart from wishing she would. My heart keeps hoping that it's all some big mistake or a dream, and that everything will right itself in the morning. I know this can't happen, but my heart just doesn't care. I don't think anyone's heart has ever been accused of listening to logic."

The car was silent for a few minutes. "I don't want you to think that I'm not sympathetic towards you. I know that you're going through a rough time right now, what with having extreme lapses in judgment in which you become an ass...I am. I care, and I worry about you, and I want you to be happy. At the same time, I'm having a really hard time not leaning more toward Abby's side of all this because she's pretty much the victim here. I know that your intentions for breaking up with her were good, and I understand that you were scared, and I can't say I blame you, but she's the one who was hurt without any explanations."

"I don't blame you. It's not like I came out of this thing smelling like a rose. I'm on her side, too."

"That's good to know."

"I just...I wish I could figure out some way to get her back, you know? It didn't take me too long to realize that, as scary as it is to be in love with her, the thought of just being without her scares me a whole hell of a lot more. It would have been nice if that occured to me before I got I stupid." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I need her." He gave his friend a lopsided grin. "Kinda pathetic, right?"

Susan shrugged. "Not in my book. I think you're very lucky to have found someone you love so much this early in life. And I believe it's real. I don't think it's the normal teenager love-of-the-week thing."

"I've gotta figure something out. Not having her around is killing me. Even if she won't take me back...well, I'd rather be in her life as a friend than nothing at all. If I can't be her boyfriend..."

"I know. You'll work it out. It's just gonna take some time. She needs to heal first."

"I guess a month and a half isn't enough time to heal, right?"

"Well, I suppose it depends on the hurt, but in girl world...six weeks is no where near enough time for wounds to heal."

"And this was a pretty big hurt."

"Oh, indeed it was."

John just sighed, but remained silent until he pulled up in front of Susan's house. "You sure I can't convince you to help me get her back? Not even to put in a good word for me?"

"No. I'll listen, I'll talk, whatever, but I'm not gonna be a go-between. All she knows is that you're upset that she's hurt. That's it. I can't fix your relationship for you."

He hit his head against the steering wheel a few times, hard enough so that Susan worried a bit about setting off the airbags. "Why do I suck so much?"

"It's a guy thing. You can't really help it."

"That's comforting."

"I'm just being honest. Guys, as a general population, are dumb. They do dumb things. I think it's genetic."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. I just can't promise you an answer."

"Do you think that if I asked her to the winter dance, she'd say yes?"

"Doubt it."

"And thank you for crushing my spirit entirely."

Susan rolled her eyes. "I'm not trying to hurt you. She just..." she clamped her mouth shut, not sure if she should go on.

"'She just' what?"

She heaved a big sigh, figuring it'd be better if he heard it from her than from someone else. "She already has a date. With Luka."

John hit his head on the wheel again. "I hate my life."

Susan remained silent for a moment, trying to think of something to help. "Wait!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "What about that New Year's party you're having at your house?"

"Well, I'm not really having it. It's more something that my parents and grandparents are doing--"

"Yeah, I get that, but didn't you tell me that they said you could have some people over?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Soooo...invite her."

"Well, I thought that was a given."

"It's better than nothing, isn't it? You'll be able to interact with her at least."

"Provided Luka's not hanging all over her."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Be bitter and hostile. You don't know the guy, so don't be an ass about it. You can't take this out on him."

"I know, I know," he moaned. "I'm just so frustrated!"

"I see that." She bit her lip in thought, trying to quickly settle an internal debate. "Look...I'll help you out."

John's head snapped toward her so quickly he almost go whiplash. "What?"

"Not a lot of help but...you're gonna need help setting up the party, right? I'll try to get her there early so you can talk to her."

He shook his head sadly. "She won't go for it, Sus. Why on earth would she voluntarily spend time with me like that?"

"Hmmm. Valid point. Fine. This is what I'll do, if you can manage to hold out until then, and provided no progress has been made between the two of you in the next couple of weeks--"

"No progress will be made," John interrupted. "We're gonna be out for winter break soon, so the chances of me seeing her in a context other than school are slim."

"Will you stop talking for a minute? Unless you don't want my help..."

"Shutting up, ma'am."

"Thank you. Anyway, Abby and Luka are there together and they're spending a lot of time in each other's company, I'll find some way to distract him so that he won't come looking for her, and then you can have a few minutes with her alone."

"Distract him how?"

"Well, I won't be flashing him or anything, but I'l figure something out."

"And you really think a party is the best place to do this?"

"What other choice do you have? She won't talk to you at school, she'll hang up on you if you call, she'll slam the door in your face if you show up at her house. If you talk to her at a party, there's less chance of a scene being made. She's not one for being a drama queen, so she's not going to want to draw the kind of attention that a fight would bring. It's your best shot at just getting her to listen to what you have to say."

"How do we even know she'll come to my party?"

"I'll get her there. It'll be good for her; I'm sure she'll have fun. And if she doesn't show up, well...we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now, remember; this is a one time thing. I know it's not much, but it's as much in the middle as I'm willing to get, okay? If she gets pissed off at you for cornering her, then it's not my fault."

"I'm not gonna corner her. Well, not much. I just want to talk to her. Just for a couple of minutes."

"Looks like you might get your wish, then," Susan said, grabbing her bookbag so she could finally exit the car.

"Yeah, there is a Santa Claus after all."

"Ho ho ho!"

"Don't call yourself names, Lewis. You should have more self-confidence than that."

She grabbed a pen and threw it at his head. "You know, I think I like you better when you're sulking; you don't insult me nearly as much."

"This is just a temporary thing. My spirits are momentarily lifted. I'm sure that in hour or two, I'll be back down in the dumps."

"Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you," she answered, dashing out of the car and into her house, leaving him to wonder if he'd just been insulted, or she was actually holding out hope for him. He shrugged, his mind not having enough space to figure it out at the moment. He shifted the car into drive, feeling positive for the first time in weeks. It seemed there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. At the moment, the light was very small, but it was something. It was something he could grab onto, something to give him hope for his future with Abby.

So, how much do I suck? A lot, I'd have to say. I'm sorry this took so long. It took way too long. Truthfully, I'm not sure this one was worth the wait. I guess I'll let you guys judge that but...yeah, sorry I suck. I just got stuck. I had no idea what to do or how to do it...my mind was just an absolute blank with this for a while. I'm hoping the next part will be out sooner; I'm pretty excited about the next couple of chapter. C-dawg...you'll be happy to know that I'm going straight to the part we discussed. There's not going to be another chapter between here and there. Satisfied? ;) Anyway, please don't hate me because this took so long. And Alex...still miss you, my love.


	15. Chapter 13

"When is she going to get here?" John asked, his voice bordering on a whine, his body practically twitching.

"Probably when she gets here," Susan answered, rolling her eyes.

"Funny."

"Well, staring at the door isn't going to make her get here faster, so knock it off."

"Can I help that I'm anxious?"

"Probably not, but could you try to tone it down a little? People will start to stare."

John couldn't have cared less if people stared at him. "I'll be able to relax once she actually gets here."

"Yeah, okay. Then you'll remember that she's here with Luka and get bouncy again. And, you know, just because you're going to try to talk to her and clear the air doesn't mean she's going to run back into your arms."

"Do you have to rain on my parade?" he asked, scowling at his friend.

"I don't want to just rain on your parade. I want to blow up all the floats."

"Nice."

Susan's playful demeanor turned slightly serious. "Seriously, John--I just don't want you to get your hopes up only to be crushed."

"Why are you so sure I'd get crushed? You may be Switzerland in this battle, but that doesn't mean you can't be supportive of your best friend's feelings."

"John..." She paused, trying to word her thoughts more carefully. "It's not that I'm sure you'll be crushed, I just don't want to see you get hurt. I don't like watching my friends suffer."

"Relax. I'm not expecting her to just forgive and forget. I just want to talk to her. And I'm anxious about it. I haven't talked to her in a couple of months. It's more than just a little nerve-wracking."

"Well, you can rest easy."

"Why?"

She nodded her head in the direction of the door. "Because she just walked into the room."

"What!" John exclaimed, using all of his willpower to not whip his head around and gawk at Abby.

"I told you she wouldn't get here faster by staring at the door," Susan replied, her voice definitely smug.

John, for his part, pretended to eye her suspiciously. "Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

"One day, grasshopper, you will know why the tree bends to the wind," she answered sagely.

He blinked, then shook his head in bewilderment. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the force is strong with me, and that your midi-chlorians are very low."

"Has someone spiked the punch or something? I mean, seriously. Have you been sniffing glue?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I just like to mess with your head. Really, dude, you should be used to this by now."

"Even so...you're acting weirder beyond any level of weird I've ever encountered from you."

Susan waved her hand dismissively. "Anyway, she's here. What are you going to do about it?"

John paused for a moment. "Nothing."

For one of the few times in her life, Susan was speechless. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing...yet. I can't just go running over there, guns blazing. She'll freak. I need to give her some time to settle in, mingle a bit, relax, et cetera. Then I'll find her so we can pounce. Hey, maybe you can give her some of that glue you've been sniffing. That should keep her calm."

Susan was happy to see a bit of a twinkle in her friend's eyes--a twinkle that had been missing for far too long. "First of all, I have not been sniffing glue! Nor have I been drinking happy punch," she answered quickly, saying it before he had the chance. "And second of all, I don't pounce. There will be no 'pouncing.'"

"I've seen you pounce once or twice before."

"No, that was me hopping. You've seen no pouncing."

"I've known you most of my life. I've seen you pounce before."

"Whatever makes it easier for you to sleep at night, my friend."

"Oh, it does. Trust me."

Susan paused, coming close to scratching her head in confusion. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Because I'm nervous as hell and this is keeping me distracted?"

"Fair enough. Anyway, I'm going to actually go talk to Abby."

"Show off," John grumbled, sulking a little.

Susan just batted her eyes at him. "Why don't you go circulate for a while? You know, be a good host?"

"Why don't you go circulate your mom?"

"You have GOT to work on your comebacks, dude."

"Ahh, bite me."

"Original AND clever," she thew over her shoulder as she walked away.

---------------------------

It had been an hour since Abby had walked through the door, and John's nerves had not eased any. It didn't help that he hadn't seen Susan since then, either. A paranoid part of him couldn't help but think that she'd changed her mind about helping him and had ducked out. Logically, he knew she wouldn't do that to him, but logic wasn't working in his favor much at the moment.

Eventually, he spotted her by the snack table, plundering the munchies. He'd known she couldn't hide forever. Eagerly, he trotted over to her. He casually glanced around, making sure no one was within earshot before asking, "So, what's the plan? How are you going to divert Luka?"

Susan smiled at him sheepishly, her cheeks turning a little pink. "Would you believe I don't actually have a plan yet?"

"Susan!"

"Hey, I'm trying! I've been wracking my brain since I mentioned this and I've come up with a whole lot of nothing."

John sighed impatiently. "Well, why don't you do the whole 'I'm-the-best-friend' thing and tell him that he has to go through the approval process?"

"How about no?"

His brain was running a mile a minute, trying to find some plausible reason for Susan to talk to the guy. "Then why don't you talk to him about Christmas?"

She wasn't expecting that. "Christmas?"

"Yeah. Ask him how he enjoyed Christmas in America, find out what traditions he has in his country, that kind of thing."

Susan was impressed. "Amazingly enough, that's not a bad idea."

"Glad you like it. Now go over there." He gave her a push in Luka's direction to emphasize his point.

"What? Why?"

"Because they're no where near each other; Luka's by the window and Abby's by the stereo. Now is the time."

"But--"

"No buts, no second thoughts." His entire being seemed to be begging. "Please. For me."

Susan let out a very put upon sigh, but started to move nonetheless. "You owe me."

He rolled his eyes. "You'll be the best man at the wedding. Now go!"

He watched Susan walk away, then turned toward Abby. He took a deep, fortifying breath, then walked over to her.

--------------------------------

Abby stood over by the stereo system, thumbing through the vast music selection and absently wondered how John's family and their ritzy friends, who upstairs having their own "classy" party, hadn't come downstairs yet to tell them to turn down the noise. Even though she was more than fond of very loud music, even she had to admit it was a bit loud. But maybe that had something to do with the fact that she was practically on intimate terms with one of the large speakers.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone approaching her, but didn't think much of it; she assumed it was Luka. So she was a bit surprised when she heard an all-too-familiar voice say, "Hey Abby."

Her head jerked up in surprise. "John?"

"How're you doing?"

Words were escaping her. "Uhh...okay." She said, the response coming out more like a question, then remained silent. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something else. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he answered, somewhat lamely.

Silence ensued again. Awkwardness was not in short supply. Finally, he spoke again, cutting right to the chase. "Listen...can we talk?"

She was slightly taken aback. "Talk?"

He shuffled his feet. "Yeah."

"I don't know if I have anything to say to you."

"Fair enough. But would you be willing to listen for a few minutes?"

Well, this was unexpected. "I suppose..." she answered slowly.

He let out a sigh of relief. "First, dumb as it sounds, I want to thank you for coming here tonight. I wouldn't have blamed you at all if you'd done something else."

"Well, Susan begged me. And it looks like most of our class is here, so there wasn't much else to do."

"Even so, it means a lot to me that you're here."

"I didn't come for you," she replied, trying to keep the bitterness in her voice to a minimum.

"Oh, I know. Believe me, I know." The pair fell silent again. A year ago, uncomfortable silences weren't terribly unusual for the two of them, but then it was for entirely different reasons. At that point, they'd each realized they had feelings for one another, and were trying to come to terms with that. Now, they simply felt like two strangers, struggling to find something in common.

Finally, John let out a frustrated noise. "Can we do this somewhere quieter?"

"What?"

"I have some stuff I want to say to you, and it'd be a lot easier if we didn't have to shout over this music. Not to mention that I'd rather not advertise our personal business to our school." He tried to wait patiently while she processed his request. "Please?"

Despite herself, Abby was moved by the naked honesty she saw in John's eyes and she felt her resolve begin to melt a little. This is precisely why she had avoided talking to him, being alone with him, for so long. She knew that it didn't matter how angry she was or how badly she wanted to hurt him. Deep down, she could deny him nothing. And that aggravated the hell out of her.

Nonetheless, she found herself nodding and following John down the hallway where it was, surprisingly, much quieter. "Okay, so...talk."

John took a deep breath, and jumped in. "This is tough. It's been a while since we last spoke--"

Abby snorted mirthlessly, but remained silent, letting him continue.

"And I take full responsibility for that. There was no reason at all for you to talk to me, or for you to make the first move--"

Abby's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You know, John...I don't need this reverse pyschology crap from you. And don't patronize me."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't give me that. You're trying to make me feel guilty about the things that you've done."

"No! I swear to you, I'm not. I acted like an ass. A complete and total ass. It really is all my fault, and I never ever expected you to make the first move. It was all on me. I'll be honest, there was a part of me that hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just to yell, but even that part of me accepted early on that it was a pipe dream. I had no right at all to even hope that you would talk to me."

Abby studied John carefully, trying to determine his sincerity. It was amazing. The guy who just a few months ago she was sure she knew better than herself was a mystery to her. She couldn't be completely sure that he meant what he was saying. He looked sincere enough; she was fairly certain she could see his heart on his sleeve. With that image in mind, she nodded slightly, indicating that he should continue.

"You have no idea how grateful I am that you're even standing here with me. Seriously. This is a dream come true for me. Especially since I know this is just about the last situation you want to be in right now. And I honestly wouldn't blame you if you kicked me in the nuts, then pointed and laughed while I rolled around on the floor in pain."

She couldn't help herself; she let out a snort of laughter. The mental imagery was just too funny.

John smile self-deprecatingly. As she remained quiet, he studied her carefully, watching a million thoughts and emotions chasing across her face; the wrinkling of her forehead as she contemplated his words, the quirk of her lips as she thought of something that amused her. It all fascinated him. In that moment, he was almost content. He knew he'd missed her, but he didn't realize just how much until he was in her presence again. He knew it might not last that long, but he had to take what he could get. He watched as some kind of realization hit her, and braced himself for what could be coming.

"This was carefully orchestrated, wasn't it?"

John's heart leapt into his throat. The last thing he wanted was for Abby to know that Susan'd had any part in this. He didn't want to cause a rift between his friends.

"What?"

"You planned this out. You knew that no matter how upset I might be, how angry I could get, I wouldn't make a scene in front of all these people."

He felt his heart rate slow down a bit; Susan was safe for the moment. "Well, I'll admit that was an added bonus, but that wasn't the reason. It was just the only way I could figure for you to talk to me. You, understandably, avoided me at school. If I'd tried to call you, which I probably should have done anyway, you could have easily hung up on me. Going to see you in person at your house would've been just as effective."

Why was this so hard? They used to be able to talk to each other. At the very least, he should be able get out some kind of apology. He tried again.

"What it all boils down to is...I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, but it's all I can say. If I apologized for every idiotic thing I did to you, we could be here all night. But I'll do it," he said quickly, "if you want to hear it. I'm just sorry that I treated you so badly. You deserve so much better than that, especially from someone you thought you could trust."

Abby remained silent for several long minutes. "I just don't understand, John," she finally blurted out. "I don't get it!"

"Which part?" he asked slowly.

"All of it. I don't understand what happened. I don't get why you just decided that you were done with me. I don't know what happened overnight to make you want to break up with me. It doesn't make sense. I thought we were happy...I thought you cared about me."

"I do, Abby. So much. So very much."

"Well, it sure as hell doesn't feel like it! Not after you broke my--" She stopped herself, not willing to admit it to him.

John cringed anyway. "Broke my heart." That's what she was going to say. He knew he had done it, and he knew he couldn't change it. "I don't know how to explain it to you."

"Try. I deserve that much, don't I?"

"You deserve more than that. But I don't know how..."

"Explain it to me. Make me understand. I need to understand. I won't be able to move on until I know what happened and why. I just don't get how we could be so happy together, how we could have so much fun and everything be great and then you just dump me. My mind can't wrap around it. I don't understand how you could be so sure that we should be apart, but then mope around for two months because you're depressed that we split up. It doesn't make any sense!"

"I know--"

"So explain it to me!"

"I love you!"

Abby's breath caught in her throat, and she was fairly certain her heart stopped for several seconds before beating triple-time. She felt her body begin to shake. "What?"

John's eyes grew wide as he realize what he'd said. That definitely wasn't part of the plan. But it just sort of...fell out in the heat of the moment.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have just blurted it out like that."

"But...but...what?"

He rubbed his face vigorously, hoping he could collect his thoughts. There was no way out of this. He'd told her how he felt. He was fairly certain that he could lose her forever now. Well, if she was going to walk out of his life, then she should at least be well-informed about his stupidity. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"I love you."

Abby shook her head. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. I love you. I realize now that this wasn't the best way to tell you, but since we're on the subject..."

"Don't you dare make jokes right now."

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get a handle on the situation."

"Well, get it fast."

He slumped against the wall, defeated. "I love you, Abby. It's as simple as that. And before you can ask, this isn't some revelation I came to after we split up. Nor did I realize it after I found out that you were dating Luka. I figured this one out a long time ago."

Abby was dumbstruck. "But, if you...why would you...?" She was at a loss. Coherent sentences were not her friend at the moment.

"Because I'm stupid. I am the dumbest person to ever walk the planet. I realized that I was madly, hopelessly, insanely in love with you, and instead of being happy about it, I got scared."

"You got _scared_?" she parroted, disbelieving.

"Yes. I got scared. Terrified. It was a big revelation for me, and I didn't know how to handle it. The feelings were so intense...I couldn't cope. I know that doesn't excuse me for what I've done, but that's what happened. I woke up, realized that I love you, and promptly freaked out. I tried to figure everything out. I kept hoping that I could make sense of it, at least partially. Everything was in a jumble in my head and my heart, and I was afraid it wasn't real...I've never been in love before. I didn't know how to tell if was LOVE love, or high school love."

"And it never occurred to you to talk to me about this?" Abby asked incredulously, finally finding her voice. "It didn't cross your mind to talk to you girlfriend about your feelings for her?"

"I didn't want to scare you off!"

"So pushing me out of your life sounded like a swell alternative!"

"No! I just...I didn't know what to do. And I guess that in some part of my mind, getting some distance from you would help me work everything out." He let out a bitter chuckle. "And I did. I worked out that while being in love with you is terrifying, the thought of being without you scared me even more. Helpful, huh? Having a revelation like that after I was without you."

This was almost too much for her to take. Her stomach felt like it was residing somewhere around her toes. "How do you expect me to respond to this?"

"Well, in a perfect world, or at least a world where I haven't fucked everything up, you'd say that you love me, too."

"Love you, too! Jesus, John...you dumped me out of the blue, you've been ignoring me for months, putting me through hell...and now you want me to tell you that I love you?"

"I know you can't. I'm not expecting anything from you. I've already said that I didn't mean to tell you this way. All I wanted from tonight was to clear the air between us. I just wanted to be your friend again. That's all. But now you know. Do what you want with it."

"I...I..." she took a deep breath, desperately trying to compose herself. He was putting it on her. Unbelievable. He'd dumped this on her lap, then basically said that it was all up to her. She'd be mad if she wasn't so damn confused. "I need some time to think about all of this. I don't know if I even want to be your friend at this point..."

"I understand completely," he answered quickly. "Believe me, I do. This is a lot to take in at one time, especially considering the circumstances."

"Yeah..." she gesturedly helplessly down the hallway toward the party. "I need to...you know...go...or something." And with that, she hurried down the hall, blinking rapidly to keep her tears at bay.

John wanted to say something to stop her, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. She needed time; she'd said so herself. Pestering her right now wouldn't help the situation at all. Dejectedly, he followed her back into the party, scanning the crowd for her familiar face. Disappointed, but not surprised, he saw that she was standing with Luka. Feeling even worse, he slunk off to the food area, even though he knew there was no way he could eat.

--------------------------

Abby walked as fast as she could without drawing attention over to her date. She needed space, and she needed space now. Fortunately, Luka was standing by himself, clearly enjoying the festivities going on around him. He grinned as he caught sight of her.

"There you are! I thought you'd left," he teased, putting his arm around her shoulders in a quick hug.

She smiled weakly, positive that it wasn't convincing, but holding out hope that he wouldn't notice.

No such luck. He felt how tense her shoulders were, and noticed the strange, bewildered look on her face when she attempted to smile and was immediately concerned. "Abby? Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. There was no way she could explain this.

He still looked concerned. "Are you sure?"

She simply nodded, not really trusting her voice.

Luka let it drop for the moment. She would come around if she wanted to talk about it; that's just the way she was. He knew he couldn't push her into it. "Well, I have an idea." He grinned down at her. "Want to dance?"

Abby almost felt relieved by the distraction, and nodded enthusiastically.

Taking her gently by the arm, Luka guided her out onto the makeshift dance floor. He was happy to realize that someone had put on a cd of slow music; it would give him a chance to hold her close. Abby, on the other hand, was anything but relieved. Slow dancing meant time to think. It meant she wouldn't have any kind of crazy music to keep her mind occupied.

Without even realizing it, Abby's eyes found John. His back was to the crowd, but she knew it was him. It didn't surprise her that, unfamiliar as part of him was to her now, she still knew him. She'd know him anywhere. But she didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. Either way, she couldn't take her eyes off him. She and Luka were moving in a slow circle, but it was a circle nonetheless. She was so focused on keeping her eyes on him that her head was nearly turned all the way around. She managed to come out her reverie a bit when she heard Luka mumble, "Ow."

"Huh?"

"You stepped on my foot," he explained, chuckling.

"Oh. Sorry."

He looked down at her and discovered that her attention wasn't anywhere near him. "Abby, please tell me what's wrong. I want to help."

"Nothing's wrong," she mumbled, still obviously distracted.

Luka didn't believe her. Then again, she wasn't trying to be convincing. He followed her line-of-sight, and noticed that she was staring at someone. He couldn't tell who it was until the figure turned slightly--John Carter. Luka felt his hackles begin to go up.

"Abby...did John do something to you?"

At the mention of his name, her head whipped around, and she stared at him in shock. "What?"

"John. Did he do something to you?"

She felt a brief moment of panic; she wasn't ready to talk about this. "No. No, of course not. We just talked. I'm fine. Please don't worry about it."

"You are not fine. I can tell. Please tell me what it is."

"Luka, seriously, it's nothing. Just let it go."

"I can't. If something is in your mind--"

"On your mind," she corrected automatically.

"Yes,_ on_ your mind, I want to know about it. What did he say to you?"

She remained silent. She couldn't tell him this. How could she possibly discuss the conversation she'd just had with her ex-boyfriend to the guy who on the verge of being her new boyfriend? There was no way.

Her silence spoke volumes, though. "He wants you back," Luka stated, matter-of-factly.

Abby's eyes widened and she gulped audibly. "Luka..."

"Who does he think he is?"

Now she was confused. "What?"

"What right does he have to treat you like this?"

She wasn't prepared for his anger to be directed toward John. "It's not--"

"Does he think that he can have you at his convenience?"

"No--"

"Are you some toy to him? One that can be tossed about carelessly?"

"Luka, it's not like--"

"He has some nerve!"

"Luka--"

"Doesn't he realize that you have moved on?"

"He told me he loves me!"

The two stared at each other for a few moments, surprised at her words. Luka seemed to get even more irate.

"A real man wouldn't do such a thing, Abby. He had his chance with you and he blew it. It's not fair of him to expect you to just go running back to him. Can't he see that you're happy now? Doesn't he understand--"

She couldn't take it anymore. The words just burst out. "Luka, I love him, too!" As soon as she said it, she clapped her hands over her mouth, almost as if she could take it back. But the damage was done.

Luka looked stunned.

"Oh, my god..." she whispered, talking more to herself than to him. "I love him."

"Abby?" he asked, confusion and hurt tinging his voice.

"Luka!" she exclaimed, having forgotten about him for a moment. "I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I didn't even realize it until just now."

"You just realized this now?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I never meant to lead you on like that. I thought that I had moved on, or at least that I was moving on..."

Abby was amazed. Despite the fact that she knew things weren't settled between John and herself, a cliched feeling of peace settled over her with her revelation. True, this whole situation scared the hell out of her (thus gaining John a little sympathy for his actions), but she couldn't deny it. Not anymore than she could deny herself oxygen.

Luka looked like he was still trying to understand all of this. "But...things were going so well. I thought we were having fun together."

"Oh, Luka, we have been. You've been wonderful to me. Probably better than I deserve, all things considered. You're an amazing person."

He grabbed a hold of her hands, bringing them up to his chest. "I can make you happy, Abby. I know I can."

She felt awful. The last thing she'd wanted to do was hurt him. He didn't deserve that. "It just wouldn't be fair to either of us. I care about you a lot. I really do. But I love John. He's what I need."

He opened his mouth, still trying to convince her to give him a shot, but she spoke before he could. She didn't think she could bear it. "Luka, I never meant to hurt you," she said softly. "Please, try to understand this."

"It's difficult," he answered, his voice equally soft.

"Believe me, I know."

He remained silent for quite some time. Neither noticed that the song had changed or that their fellow students were giving them odd looks as they danced around the pair. They were in their own bubble for the moment. Finally, he lifted his gaze to her. "Okay."

She was shocked. "Okay?"

"Yes. I think I understand. Or I will understand. Love is love. You can't tell your heart what to feel."

She smiled at him; he'd summed it up just about perfectly. "Thank you. I was wondering...can we still be friends?"

"You want us to be friends?"

"Absolutely. You're a terrific person, and I want you in my life, even if it's not in a romantic capacity."

He smiled a bit in return. "Can you give me some time? I know I'll be all right with this eventually, but for right now, I need some time to...understand."

"Of course," she answered quickly. "Take as much time as you need. Let me know when you're ready to be around me again."

"Oh, it won't be long. I don't think I could stay away from you if I tried."

She pulled one her hands out from under his, and brought it up to his face to brush his cheek. "Luka...you're wonderful. And someday, you're going to find someone that makes you so much happier than I ever could."

He nodded, trying to believe her, hoping it was true. "Go," he finally said, jerking his head in John's direction.

"Are you sure? I mean, I came here with you, and I have no problem with--"

He smiled a little brighter this time. "Go."

She smiled gratefully in return and squeezed his hand. "Thank you." At that, she released herself from Luka and turned in the direction she'd last seen John. Spotting him, she marched over to him, determined to figure things out.

His back was still to her. She took a deep break before she could lose her nerve and lifted her hand to tap him on the shoulder. But before her hand could make it half way there, John turned around, nearly crashing into her hand and almost choking on the cookie he had just stuffed into his mouth in the process. "Abby!" he gasped.

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She tried again. Still nothing. Now that she was face to face with him, she had no idea what she wanted to say.

John looked concerned, putting his hand on her upper arm instinctively. "Are you all right?"

His touch sent a jolt through her body. It was the first time they'd had physical contact in months. But it snapped her out of her stupor. "John...what you said...I've been thinking...I mean...well...you said that...it was...I'm just..." Clearly, conversation was not one of her stronger points tonight. So she decided that actions could speak louder than words. She brought her hands up to his face to cup his cheeks and pulled him down to her. Hesitating for only a fraction of a second, she pressed her lips against his.

It felt like heaven.

It felt like coming home.

It felt perfect.

John was floored. Abby's lips were on his and he was doing nothing about it. Nothing. He was too shocked. Fortunately, instinct kicked in. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. His mouth responded to Abby. He kissed her for all he was worth.

Finally she pulled away, taking a deep breath. But she kept her mouth close to his; close enough so that their lips were still touching. "The thing is...I love you, too," she whispered.

His eyes snapped open only to find Abby gazing back at him with what looked like tears shining in her eyes. He swallowed hard, determined not to blow it this time. "Abby...oh my god. Are you sure? I know I've screwed up--big time. I've hurt you a lot--" He was silenced by her lips against his once more.

She pulled back a few moments later and smiled at him. "You're the one thing in this world that I'm sure of, John."

He grinned, glee threatening to overwhelm him. He slid one of his hands up to her face and softly stroked her cheek before moving to cup her head. "I love you so much," he whispered, pulling her close to kiss her again.

It was a kiss out of a fairytale or a movie. The perfect kiss. Every emotion they'd felt over the past couple of months--anger, pain, joy, sadness and even a little bit of hate--came pouring out in their kiss. But the predominant emotion was love. Their for each other was stronger than anything else they'd ever felt. And they tried to express that they only way they knew how.

Unfortunately, Abby had to breathe. She didn't want to stop kissing him, but she knew there'd be time for that later. For now, they just looked at each other with silly grins on their faces.

"Wow," was all John could say.

"Say it again," Abby requested.

"Wow?" he repeated, confused.

She rolled her eyes. "The other thing."

"Oh, that. I love you."

She felt a shiver of happiness race down her spine. "I like the way that sounds."

"Me, too."

"I love you, too."

"I think I like that even better."

"Just so you know," Abby said, settling contentedly in his arms, "you're not off the hook entirely. We still have _a lot_ to talk about."

"I know. But can we deal with it tomorrow? I just to be us tonight. Is that okay?"

"I think I can live with that."

They rested silently in each other's arms for a while. It had been so long since they had felt this that neither were ready to give it up yet. Eventually, Abby spoke again.

"Do you think we could get out of here?"

John smiled ruefully. "I wish I could, but I'm kinda the host of this thing."

"Damn. Well, do you think you could disappear for a few hours? Just until it's time for the countdown or something? I mean, I'd kinda like to have you to myself for a while."

He honestly felt like his face was going to split in half from smiling so much. "I think that can be arranged. Come on." He untangled himself from Abby's arms, but made sure to grab a hold her hand. Now that he had her, he didn't ever want to let her go. He looked around the room for a few minutes, then spotted Susan talking to a few friends. He led Abby over and tugged gently on Susan's arm, silently asking for a moment of her time.

She followed him a few paces away. "What's up?" Then she realized that he was clutching Abby's hand. A smile broke across her face, but she refrained from saying anything. Their smiles were answer enough for now.

"Abby and I are gonna duck out for a bit. Can you keep an eye on things for a while?"

"I'd be _thrilled_ to keep an eye on things, John."

"You're the best," he told her, already walking toward the door, Abby close on his heels.

Susan chuckled as she watched them wrap their arms around each other, attempting to walk that way. Her friends were happy. It looked like they'd finally managed to get their acts together.

-----------------------------

So tell me...was it worth the wait? I hope so. I'm so sorry for taking so long with this. Life got in the way. It didn't help that my monitor shorted out this summer, so I had no way to access stuff on my old computer, even when I got a new one. And that's where all my notes and ideas for this chapter were. Plus, work got wildly insane for a while and...I suck. That's pretty much what it boils down to. I suck. But anyway, I've made this one extra long for your edification. Hopefully, that'll make up, at least in part, for the delay.

So, shout outs. Lots of love and credit to Courtney, who worked me through a lot of this. A bunch of the dialogue in this is either stuff she came up with, or stuff she inspired. There are too many to name individually, though I will point out the one she really likes--"The thing is, I love you, too." It's a great line. I owe her more thanks than I can express. I also want to acknowledge that I stole a couple of lines from other sources--one was from SVU (if you can find, I'll give you a cookie!), and one was from my friend in college, so that one's not copyrighted. Anyway, thanks for your patience. And there will be a continuation of this chapter in (hopefully) the near future. Not til Sunday at the earliest though. I'm gonna be in Chicago this weekend! Holla! But, again, I want to say thanks to all of you. You rock.


	16. Chapter 14

--just a forewarning, this gets a touch graphic in some parts. There's nothing excessive, but I wanted to let everyone know. It's dealt with tastefully. But if that kind of stuff offends you, this may not be the chapter for you (but you'll be missing out on some righteous stuff if you skip it).

* * *

"Shhh!" John whispered, not able to keep the smile off his face.

Abby returned the smile, leaning up to give him a quick kiss, giggling all the while. "I can't help it," she answered in a stage whisper. "I feel all...bubbly."

"Well, just keep the noise to a minimum. I don't want to get caught."

She rolled her eyes. "Come on. Your house is _huge_. Do you really think they're going to find us? They're all in the middle of their own party, and they're not even on this floor!"

"Granted, but they're all drunk. And from what I've seen of these guys, drunk people wander. Do you really want them to wander into us when our tongues are down each other's throats?"

An even louder giggle burst out of Abby. She buried her face in his chest, trying to stifle it, and failed miserably. She just couldn't seem to contain herself. She leaned back a little and looked up at him through her eyelashes. John felt himself melt even further. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her once more, and her giggles turned into soft moans. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

"I love you," she whispered into his mouth.

The grin reappeared on his face. "I love you, too." He pulled away and sighed, gently brushing her hair off her face. "Come on," he said, tugging her hand in the direction of the next staircase.

She resisted, and he turned around to see a confused look on her face. "Where are we going? Your bedroom is right over there."

"Yes, but suppose someone of the adult nature notices that we're both missing. Where do you think they're going to look?"

Her eyes widened in understanding. "Good call. So...where are we going?"

He waggled his eyebrows, causing her to giggle once more. "Third floor." He tugged on her hand once more, and this time she followed.

Her giggles turned into laughter as she tried her best to keep up with him. John found that her laughter was contagious and joined in, though he had no idea why. "What's so funny?" he asked, slowing down marginally to look at her over his shoulder.

She just shrugged her shoulders helplessly and continued laughing.

He came to a halt in the middle of the staircase, Abby nearly colliding with his back. "What's wrong?" She tried to sound concerned, but her case of the giggles wouldn't leave.

John didn't say anything. Instead, he turned around and walked back down a couple of steps until their faces were level. He just smiled, gently placed his hands on her hips and leaned into kiss her. Abby wrapped her arms around his neck, more than happy to return the favor. Without even realizing it, he lowered their bodies until they were laying on the stairs, one of his feet bracing them so they didn't slide down onto the landing. Abby giggled once, softly, when she realized where they were, but didn't comment.

"Ow!" she said suddenly.

John's head jerked up. "What? What's wrong?"

She made a face and shifted a little. "Nothing. There's just a piece of wood digging into me." She looked up at him and saw him grinning devilishly, one of his eyebrows raised. "Shut up. I meant the stairs and you know that." She shifted once more. "Although, now that you mention it..." She smiled in triumph as she watched his face flush, visible even in the dim lighting.

Defeated, he stood up and held out a hand to help her. "Okay. Let's get back on track." Once she was on her feet and her hand was securely placed in his, he hurried up the stairs once more. They made it to the third floor and he slowed his pace, hoping not to seem too eager. But then suddenly Abby was in front of him, pulling him along, even though she had no idea where they were headed. He hurried his pace to match hers.

"Seriously, John, where are we going?"

"When I was younger, I wanted a room on the third floor, but they wouldn't let me because it was too far away from everyone else. But there was a particular room I always wanted...I'm just trying to figure out which one it is."

Abby started chuckling again, but this time is at the look of intense concentration on John's face. He finally stopped in front a door at the end of the hallway, satisfied with himself. She wrapped her arms around him once more and stood on tiptoe to reach his face. "You're cute when you're determined," she told him, pressing her lips to his.

"Mmm, Abby," he mumbled into her mouth. "Not that I'm complaining, but there's a room right behind this door."

"Mmmhmm."

"There's a lot more privacy."

"Mmmhmm."

Using every ounce of willpower he could muster, he pulled himself away. Reaching around her, he opened the door, flicked the light switch, then gestured for her to enter. "Milady."

She bit her lip, trying her hardest not to start laughing again, and entered the bedroom, looking around. The room was huge, though that wasn't really a surprise. Completely furnished, not even the slightest bit dusty, despite going unused for who knows how long. "You know, it's pretty convienent that you have so many empty bedrooms at your disposal." She heard the door click shut, then she was whirled around, her back pressed up against the door, her front flush with John's, their mouths fused together. Her giggles were a thing of the past.

He fumbled for the doorknob, making sure it was locked before his hands found her hips again, then slid around her waist, locking her securely against him. Her hands were in his hair, alternately stroking and then clutching fistfuls. Their breathing was heavy, but neither was willing to break apart for any length of time. Breathing properly would have to take a backseat for the time being.

"I've missed you so much," John mumbled between kisses.

"Mmm, me too," Abby answered breathlessly.

"I can't even begin to express how much."

"Oh, I think you're doing a pretty good job."

He grinned into her mouth, still kissing. "Thanks. I try."

She smiled back. "Do you know how hard it is to kiss you when you're smiling?"

"Do you think I could stop smiling right now if my life depended on it?"

Before she could answer, his mouth was pressed firmly against hers once more. She realized that she was slowly sliding up the door, and was confused for an instant before she realized that John was picking her up. It felt nice--their faces were level with each other's now. Neither had to strain in either direction because of their height difference. Automatically, her legs wrapped around his waist. She didn't know if was instinct or a fear of being dropped, but she couldn't bring herself to care at that moment. All she knew was that it brought their bodies into closer intimate contact, and it felt divine.

John was exhilerated. They'd had some fairly intimate moments in the past, but this was beyond anything he'd felt before. Abby's body literally wrapped around his was more intense than anything he had ever hoped to experience. His hands slid further down on her hips, skimming the small of her back, before coming to rest on her ass, cradling her, pulling her so body close to his it felt like they were trying to defy the laws of physics.

He felt her breath quicken and instinctively, he tightened his grasp, holding onto her as if she were his lifeline. Being close to her wasn't enough. He felt like he wanted to crawl inside her skin, and even then, that wouldn't be enough.

He vaguely noticed with some amusement that for the first time ever, Abby was taller than him. He actually had to crane his neck up a little to kiss her. He smiled slightly and finally removed his mouth from hers, though he didn't go far. He trailed his lips gently down her throat, which for the moment was level with his face, nibbling softly between kisses, before coming to rest on the spot where her neck and shoulders met--a spot he knew she was fond of. And he couldn't help but feel a surge of basic, almost caveman-like pride as her heard her gasp, and felt the skin of her neck tighten as she threw her head back.

"Bed," she panted out.

"What?" he mumbled against her skin, his attention focused on her neck and nothing else. He knew she had said something, but he had no idea what it was.

She gasped again--she'd forgotten how good he was at this. It was hard to focus on anything else. "The..." She breathed heavily for a moment before managing to get out the next word. "Bed."

John didn't question it. She commanded and he responded. He grabbed her ass more firmly and pulled them away from the door, momentarily stunned by just how light she felt in his arms, despite having held her for the past few minutes. He turned them around and briefly opened his eyes to make sure he knew where the bed was, then hurried in that direction. He felt his knees come in contact with the foot of the bed, then released one hand from where it was gripping Abby to brace himself on the mattress. Moving carefully, he lowered their bodies. Once they were settled, his lips found hers once more.

Abby sighed with happiness. He felt amazing. Everything felt amazing. She slid her hands from his neck onto his shoulders and then down to his chest. It wasn't easy getting her hands between their bodies, considering how close together they were, but she managed. She fumbled for a moment, then found the buttons of his shirt. As quickly as she could without damaging the shirt, she pulled open the top few, then moved her lips from his mouth to his neck, then down to his chest. Her hands continued to work on the remaining buttons until the shirt was hanging open, giving her access to all of the soft, smooth skin she knew was there. Bringing her lips back up to his, she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms until it got caught at his wrists. She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips, nor the chuckle that escaped her. John chuckled in return, then somehow rearranged his body so that he was resting on his knees, but managing to keep his mouth on hers at the same time. Moving quickly, he undid the buttons on the cuffs, then flung aside his shirt, returning to his previous position. Abby wasn't quite sure how he'd managed that, but didn't care enough at that moment to ask.

Moving with a certainty she didn't know she possessed, she moved her hands between their bodies once more, this time to the buttons on her shirt. Before she'd managed to get even one undone, though, John's hands were on hers, stilling her actions. She felt confused for a moment when he pulled her hands away, but understood when his hands took over her previous work. Slowly, almost reverently, he unbuttoned her form-fitting blouse until it was completely open, puddling uselessly at her sides. His hands slid from the soft skin of her stomach to the equally soft skin of her back, holding her close once more.

She gave a little push on his chest--the shirt felt like it was binding her and she needed it off now. Fortunately, he understood what she wanted and moved both of their bodies off the mattress for the few moments it took her to discard of her shirt as well.

This felt much better. Neither knew how they'd managed to survive the past couple of months without this kind of connection. Their hands were moving over every available inch of skin, trying to refamiliarize themselves as fast as possible. Neither wanted to waste anymore time.

Abby's hands roamed over John's back, moving lower and lower until her hands were resting on his ass. She felt it was only fair.

John's hands gently stroked her sides in a manner that would've tickled her if the mood had been different. Without thinking, his hands moved to cup her breasts, and he found it amazing that not too long ago, he'd been so uncomfortable touching Abby like this. With that, he gave her breasts a slight squeeze.

The feeling of John's hands on her were overwhelming. Her head was spinning. Involuntarily, she bit down on his lower lip, expressing her approval of his actions. Spurred on, John's movements became more confident.

Using more strength than she thought she had, she shoved and managed to roll them over so that she was on top. She grinned down at him briefly before kissing him once more. For his part, his hands managed to stay attached to her chest. Now that he was this close to her again, he didn't want it to end.

Manuevering carefully around his arms, she gently raked her fingernails down his chest, and she felt him shudder underneath her. So she did it again. Several times. She loved the reaction she got out of him. This time, though, when her hands reached his waistline, they didn't move away. Instead, they moved to his belt buckle, slowly pulling it open. Once that was done, she opened the button on his pants, then slowly pulled down his zipper. She felt his body nearly quake when her hand inadverdantly brushed over his erection.

Moaning, John pulled Abby closer. This was unreal. He still hadn't worked out how he was lucky enough to be here with her, but he wasn't about to question it now. His hands anxiously slid up and down her back, sometimes sliding over her bra straps, sometime sliding under. Finally, he'd had enough of the device, so he reached up and gently pulled apart the clasp.

Abby shuddered when she felt the cool air of the room hit her breasts and her eyes snapped open. "John," she mumbled.

"Yeah?" he whispered.

"We have to stop."

"Okay," he answered, and continued kissing her.

"I mean it," she said, finally wrenching herself away from him, crossing her arms over her nearly-exposed chest.

He looked terribly confused, and more than a little turned on. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip and looked away, not quite sure of what she should say.

John was lost. He didn't know what to do. She looked so vulnerable and fragile sitting there like that. "Abby?" he asked quietly.

Silently, she manuevered herself off of him, and scooted to the edge of the bed, her back to him. Her arms reached around to her back, and she fumbled for a moment, trying to rehook her bra. Then she leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed the first shirt she saw--John's. Once she'd pulled it over herself, she turned back to him, a rueful smile on her face. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

She sighed. "For leading you on like that. I just...can't."

Realizing that fly of his pants were still hanging wide open, he reached down and rezipped, feeling a little self-conscious. "It's okay, but...what happened?"

"We've been back together for, what? Less than an hour? And now we're rolling around on this bed, on the verge of having sex? Don't you think we're skipping a few steps here?"

He swallowed hard and moved so he was sitting propped up against the headboard. "No, I understand. We're going too fast."

"A little."

He looked down at his hands, which were resting in his lap. "I'm sorry."

"No, John..." In an instant, she had moved over to his side and was leaning against his arm. "You have nothing to be sorry for. This was all mutual. Trust me on this. It's just too much, too fast, you know?"

He returned his gaze to her face, relieved to see that she didn't look angry or upset at all. "I know."

She reached out and rested her hand on his thigh, giving it a little squeeze. "We still need to talk."

"Yeah, I've got a lot of explaining to do."

"Not just you, you know. _We_ need to talk."

"Okay." He laid one of his hands on top of hers. "What do you want to talk about, specifically?"

"Well..." she began, hesitating a little.

"Whatever it is, Abby, you can say it. I just want to make things right between us."

"I guess part of me still really doesn't get why."

"Why?"

"Yes, why. I don't understand why you had to break up with me. And to be honest, it still hurts a little, even after all of this," she said, gesturing to the bed.

"I just don't know how I can explain it, Abby. I mean, I'll try, but I don't know if it'll make sense." He took a deep breath and continued. "It's pretty much what I said earlier. I woke up one morning--a Monday morning, actually--and my first thought was that I loved you. And it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know if it was real. And I wanted to figure that stuff out before I came to you with it, which, I realize now, is kinda dumb. But that's why I acted so weird all that week."

A look of understanding crossed Abby's face. "Ohhhh. So _that's_ why you didn't call me or hang out with me or anything."

"Yeah, that was it. I know it doesn't make much sense in hindsight, but it's the only thing I could think to do at that moment. And the more I thought about it, the more terrified I got. I just kept thinking in circles and nothing made sense."

"Okay, I understand the being scared part. When I realized it, I got scared, too. But when I said it to Luka again--"

"Wait, wait, wait. You _told_ Luka?"

"Focus, please."

"No, but seriously. You told Luka that?" John asked incredulously.

"Can we just cover one topic at a time? I promise you that we'll get to that, all right? Anyway," she continued, not giving him time to protest, "the first time I said it, it scared the hell out of me, too, so I can really kinda understand where you're coming from with that. But maybe what made it less scary was that I already knew that you felt the same way. You didn't have that certainty."

"Are you really going to talk about that whole Luka thing?"

"Not if you don't stop bothering me about it," she snapped. She saw the look of hurt on his face and took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. Seeing her with someone else must have been hard, too. "You finish what you're saying, and then we'll get to all of that, okay?"

He nodded, then continued. "I'd never felt anything that deeply before. Nothing. It was so...intense. I thought that the best thing to do would be to get some space. I thought that would help make things clear."

"Which things clear?"

"I don't want to scare you, Abby."

"John, the only thing that scares me right now is the thought of being without you again. I need you to be honest with me. Please."

"Fine, but just remember that you asked for it. I couldn't understand why I was picturing my life with you. I knew with an absolute certainty that I wanted you to be my wife. And if were at all possible, I wanted to marry you then and there. I knew that I wanted to be the father of your children, okay? I'd never even _thought_ about having kids, and all of a sudden I knew that I wanted to have them with you."

Abby's eyes widened in shock. "Uhhh..." was the only thing she was able to get out at that moment.

"Yeah. I know. So can you see why I was so wigged out about everything? All this stuff that I'd never considered before, mainly because I'm only sixteen, so why would I have thought about it, was solidifying into a future that I could very clearly see with you. It's a lot to take in at one time."

"No kidding," she breathed.

"See? This is why I didn't want to tell you all of this! I knew it'd freak you out."

"I'm not really freaked out so much as...I don't know what I am."

He grabbed both of her hands in his and turned so he was facing her. "Do you want any of what I want? Can you picture any of that stuff at all?"

She gulped, then nodded. "Yes, I can. And it's terrifying. I can't deny that. But while it's something I want--with you--it's not something I want tomorrow. So that makes me a little less scared."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can definitely see where you're coming from, and it helps me understand why you did what you did, but you still should have talked to me about it."

"Obviously. Because it seems we're on the same wavelength with this."

"Uh-huh. We're a couple. That means we're in this together. Your problems, your fears, are mine, too. So next time, just tell me what you're thinking, all right? Because I can't handle going through this again."

"I don't think I could, either. It killed me to not be with you. I wanted to go back to you and tell you that I was sorry, but I didn't think you'd forgive me."

"I probably wouldn't have. Not then, at any rate. I wouldn't have been able to even look at you. I'm surprised I didn't burn all of your pictures."

"To be honest, so am I."

"Of course, a lot of that is because Susan took most of your memorabilia and hid it from me until I'd calmed down some. At least one of us had the foresight for that."

John cringed. "Speaking of Susan..I have a confession to make."

"I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Well, I'm assuming you know that she made a fairly strict no-interference policy. I wanted her to help me get you back and she wouldn't do it. She didn't want to get in the middle of any of this."

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't blame her, either. But I guess the whole pathetic thing finally got to her because she agreed to help me tonight. She said it was the only time she'd do anything for me like this, and it was only if she could talk you into coming here tonight."

Abby eyed him warily. "What did she do?"

"She distracted Luka."

She burst out laughing. "That's it?" she asked, relieved.

"Well, yeah."

"Oh, God." She tried to contain herself. "Did you think I was going to be mad about that?"

"I didn't know. But I thought you should be informed. You were right when you said it was orchestrated. She said she'd distract him so I could talk to you alone for a few minutes, but beyond that I was on my own."

She smiled as she leaned forward and gave him a brief kiss. "Well, thank God we have Susan."

He grinned in return, but his smile quickly faded. "About Luka..."

"What about him?"

"I just want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why did you go out with him?"

"Probably because he asked."

"Abby..."

"Well, he did," she answered defensively. "He came up to me after school one day and asked if I wanted to do something with him. So I did. And we kept doing things together. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, but--"

"But what? Was I supposed to wait around for you to get your act together?"

"Of course not."

"Exactly. So a nice guy comes up to me and asks me out, and I said yes. He knew I was on the rebound, and he was okay with that. He just wanted to get to know me. And, you know, he was very understanding about what happened tonight."

"Speaking of which..."

"I know. I didn't really mean to tell him that I love you. It just kinda fell out. He could tell I was distracted, and he figured out that it had something to do with you, so he was getting upset in my defense, and I wound up telling him that you said you love me, and then he got even more irritated, and that's when it came out that I love you, too. So, long story short, he told me to go to you."

"I guess he is a good guy," John said, leaning in to kiss her again.

She leaned back a little. "I told him that I still want to be friends."

That got his attention. "What?"

"I still want to be his friend."

"But...why?"

"Because he's a good person. And he was nothing but wonderful to me. It's just a matter of whether or not he's willing to be my friend after all of this. He says he wants to be, but he needs time."

"You want to be friends with the guy you're no longer seeing?"

"Well, it's not like we had some ridiculous fight or something. It all ended very well, and he's the kind of person I want in my life."

John sighed. "Please bear with me on this one, because this is going to come out sounding annoyingly territorial, but the thought of you being friends with a guy who's kissed you and touched you makes me feel a little uncomfortable."

"Well, you do sound territorial, but you can also relax. Nothing happened with him."

He blinked in surprise. "Nothing?"

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Nothing. We never got past a little peck on the lips. I knew he wanted to, though he never pushed anything, but something about that just felt...weird. I wasn't comfortable with the thought of kissing some other guy the way I kiss you. But there wasn't any way I could really explain that to him. So we took it a lot slower than you and I ever did. Really, the farthest we got was hand-holding."

"You'll have to forgive me if I'm more than just a little relieved about this."

"Don't worry about it. I understand."

He sighed, and gently caressed her cheek. "I've missed you so much. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. It felt like part of me was missing, like a ghost limb or something. I'd be walking down the hall and reach out to hold your hand, and I would swear that I felt you there, you know? And then I'd look down and realize that I was alone, and it would hurt worse than ever before."

"Oh, John," she whispered, nuzzling her face into his hand.

"I know I probably kind of maudlin right now..."

"No, it's all right. I know how you feel. I went through the same thing. I just kept expecting you to be there and you never were. I felt so...empty. But it's okay now. I'm here and believe me when I say that not only do I want my hand in yours for a long time, but I wouldn't mind putting my hands a few other places as well." She waggled her eyebrows playfully, hoping to lighten the somber mood.

"So...does that mean I can kiss you now?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Please do."

He grinned and brought his lips to hers once more.

"By the way," she mumbled. "Maudlin? Way to use those five-dollar words, hon."

"You know, I get enough abuse from Susan--I really don't need it from you, too."

"You love it and you know it."

His only response was to kiss her more deeply.

Without even realizing what had happened, Abby found herself lying down once more, John's body pressing her down into the mattress. She had no idea of how they'd managed to get that far that quickly. But she knew they had to stop. So grabbed his shoulders and pushed. "John..."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I don't know what happened."

"You can't blame yourself for this. Us getting carried away is definitely a two-sided thing. I just wanted you to know that...I'm not ready for sex."

"That's okay, Abby."

"I know I keep acting like I am. But I just know that, mentally, I'm not ready for this."

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I don't think I'm ready for it either. I know it sounds like a good idea, but at the very least, given that we just got back together, sex probably isn't the best course of action. Besides, you're still not on the pill--"

"And you still don't have condoms," she chuckled, remembering their "out" for every other time they'd gotten a bit caught up. "Don't misunderstand. I want you. I want you so much I can't see straight."

"So do I. I think that part has been fairly obvious for quite some time."

"Indeed. I just...God, I can't believe I'm going to say this with a straight face. I want some time to get to know you again. I want to get used to being with you again, and I want to get used to being in love with my best friend, if that makes any sense."

"You're in love with Susan?" he asked, grinning playfully. "Hey, could I watch?"

She smacked his arm. "John, you're impossible."

He rubbed the sore spot thoughtfully, a soft smile spreading across his face. "I'm your best friend?"

"Of course you are. I can tell you anything. You listen to me, and you care about me. Most importantly, you love me. That means a lot."

"You're my best friend, too."

"Doesn't change the fact that I'm having some decidedly non-best friend feelings about you at the moment, and the things I want to do to you are friendly in a different way."

"Noted," he chuckled.

"But I think we need some time to deal with all of this, to get comfortable with everything, before we can take that step. All right?"

"All right."

"So, what are we going to do?"

He pondered their options for a moment. "Well, we could set a date."

"A date?"

"Yeah. For the first time we have sex."

She snickered a little. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Just hear me out. If we have a date in mind for when we're going do this, then we have a better chance of making it special. We can plan it out so we won't have to worry about someone walking in on us."

"I think it'll be special no matter what."

He smiled at her. "So do I. But I'd rather do it on our own terms and not have to look over our shoulders constantly to see if someone's trying to open my bedroom door, you know?"

"Well, I guess I can see the merits of setting a date."

"Do you want to go with that, then?"

Abby nodded slowly. "Okay. We can do that. The question is when."

"Well...what about the last day of school? Finals will be over, we won't have homework to worry about..."

"Oh, that's _way_ too far off. I may be a virgin, but I'm not a saint. If I have to wait that long, I may very well explode."

"Yeah, good call." He thought for a few moments before inspiration struck. "What about the prom?"

She blinked in confusion. "The prom?"

"I know it sounds cliche, but yeah."

"The prom?" she repeated.

"Yeah, Abby, the prom." He smiled at her teasingly. "You know, the quasi-milestone dance for juniors and seniors? Over-priced dresses, uncomfortable tuxedos, cheesy music?"

"I know what the prom is. It's...I just...never really thought about going to the prom."

"You don't want to go?" he asked, a little surprised.

"No! I want to go. It just didn't seem like the kind of thing I'd ever go to. I guess it's hard to explain."

"Why wouldn't you go to the prom?"

"Well, you know more about my home life than anyone else. Does it really seem like, given the circumstances, I would've given more than a fleeting thought about something like the prom?"

"I guess not."

"That's why I'm a little...taken aback, I guess. I just wasn't expecting it."

"I'm sorry for just assuming you'd want to go to the prom with me--"

"Who else would I go with?"

"No, I just mean that I should at least ask you first, before we plan a whole night around it. So, Abby, do you want to go the prom with me?"

A soft smile spread across her face. "I'd _love_ to go to the prom with you."

He smiled in return. "And are you okay with us planning our big night for then, too?"

"I couldn't possibly think of anything better."

"Great!" he exclaimed, pressing a brief kiss to her lips. "Now we have a goal. We know when it's going to happen, so now we can stop torturing ourselves."

"Does that mean no more necking until then?" she asked, batting her eyes playfully.

"Only if I was in a coma. No, this just means that we don't have to be so frantic when we get a chance to be alone. We can just enjoy each other."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. So..." she drawled out, looking at him coquettishly. "What do you say we celebrate this little 'pact' of ours?"

"Well, what did you have in mind?"

She sat up, then shimmied her shoulders slightly, allowing John's shirt to fall down her arms. Then she reached behind her back, and John's eyes widened in recognition. He flew into a sitting position.

"Abby..." he breathed. "What are you doing?"

She didn't say anything. Instead, she unclasped her bra and removed, letting it dangle from her hand briefly before dropping it to the floor.

John's jaw slackened. He was stunned. Abby was sitting in front of him, naked from the waist up. He'd never seen a girl in this state before. Not in real life, at any rate.

Abby fought the urge to cross her arms over her chest and settled for plucking at imaginary lint on the quilt beneath her. "John?"

He managed to drag his eyes the astonishing sight before him back up to her face. "Huh?" was about as eloquent as he could get at the moment.

"It's okay. You can touch me, you know. You've done that before."

"Yeah, but not like this," he breathed. "I can really...?"

She nodded, and despite herself, felt her body tense slightly as she saw his hand slowly coming toward her. Then she noticed that his hand--and entire body, in fact--was shaking. "What's wrong?" she asked, extending her own hand to rest over his, twining their fingers together.

"This is going to sound really stupid, but I'm scared out of my mind."

She let out a little relieved laugh. "You, too?"

"God, yeah! This is a big--no, make that _huge_--step for us, Abby. I mean, I know we've been through a lot together. Hell, we've done a lot together, but this is new. And the last thing I want to do is screw it up."

"You won't."

"Because my track record has been so great thus far?" he asked, self-deprecatingly.

"No, because I trust you. I trust us. I know that we can do this and it'll be okay. What's more is that I want to do this. Don't be scared. If you're not scared, I won't be scared."

"You're really sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

John's hand continued its journey, this time wound together with Abby's. That alone made this seem less daunting somehow. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before letting his hand came into contact with her skin. There would be no turning back after that. Then his hand made contact.

A million different thoughts and emotions raced through him at that moment, so fast he couldn't pinpoint one if he tried. He could feel Abby's heart pounding beneath his hand. He looked up in time to see her eyes flutter shut and her mouth drop open slightly and he was done in. Using his free hand to drag her mouth to his, he kissed her like he had never kissed her before. Slowly, he lowered their bodies to the bed. Once settled, he brought his hand down to her other breast. Now that he was doing this, he couldn't get enough of her.

"You're amazing," he managed to breathe out between kisses. His only response was a low noise that seem to come from the back of Abby's throat, and he took that as a sign to continue.

He broke his lips away from hers to trail kisses gently down her throat, coming to rest for a moment at the hollow of her neck before continuing his journey south. Slowly, cautiously, he kissed his way down her chest until her reached the slope of her breasts. Taking even greater care, he dragged his lips slowly over her left breast until he was hovering over her nipple. Not knowing what else to do, he smiled, then brought his lips down over her breast.

Abby gasped loudly, and her back arched up off the bed. She felt John start to pull away and immediately brought her hands to his head, keeping him in place. "Don't stop." Happy to oblige, John continued his work for a few more minutes before managing to free his head long enough to move over to her other breast, giving it the same treatment as the first one. He was more than happy to feel Abby arch off the bed again; not as violently as the first time, but it excited him nonetheless.

"Christ," she moaned softly. "Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

He smiled as he released her from his mouth, trailing kisses down the underside of her breast, making his way toward her stomach. "Trust me when I say this is as new to me as it is to you."

"Well, then I think our sex life looks very promising."

The gentle peace that had settle over the room was broken when they suddenly heard music playing. They immediately broke apart, startled.

"What the hell is that!" Abby asked frantically.

After a moment, John sighed and shook his head. "Sesame Street."

"I realize that, but--"

"It's my cell phone. That means Susan is calling." With a defeated sigh, he pulled the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. "This better be good."

Abby watched on in silence as John's expression went from irritated to amused to slightly panicked. "Yeah. Okay. We'll be right there," he said, then paused. "I said we'll be right there." Another pause. "Shut up." Another pause. "Seriously, if you don't stop talking, we'll never get there. That's what I thought. See you in a couple of minutes." With that, he snapped his phone shut and looked at Abby.

"What's wrong?"

"Yeah, it's ten minutes to midnight."

"Shit," she answered calmly. The looked at each other for a moment before they simultaneously leapt off of the bed, frantically searching for their clothing. Abby managed to find both of their shirts, and tossed John's over to him. He found their shoes and dumped them on the bed before yanking on his shirt, hurridly trying to do up the buttons.

She paused for a moment. "You know, I don't actually remember taking off my shoes."

"Abby! Eye on the ball."

"I know! But seriously, I don't remember that at all. When did that happen?"

"Search me. I'm just as clueless as you. Now get dressed."

"Well, I would if I could find my bra."

His eyes grew wide. "Damn it!" He dropped to his knees and began searching under the bed. "Where is it!"

"If I knew that, I'd be wearing it, wouldn't I?"

A moment later, he reappeared, the garment in his hands. "I don't know how it got there, but it was way under the bed."

She leaned across the bed and grabbed it out of his hands, putting it back on as fast as possible, then grabbed her shirt to do the same. They each grabbed their shoes and attempted to stuff their feet back in. Once that was done, John said, "Get up."

"I'm still trying to get my shoes on!"

"I need to fix the bed, unless we want to advertise to my entire family what was going on."

Huffing out a sigh, Abby moved from the bed and out of the way, still trying to fix her shoes.

John smoothed his hands over the bed, trying to lessen the rumpled appearance. "I guess that's as good as it's going to get," he mumbled, stepping back to make sure it looked passable, nearly tripping over Abby in the process, who, having just managed to get herself situated, was standing up at that moment. He clutched onto her, trying to make sure that neither fell and did any major damage.

Suddenly, she burst out laughing. At his incredulous look, she gasped out, "I'm sorry. This is just so absurd! Look at us."

He chuckled in response and moved his hands from her biceps so that he could wrap his arms around her. "I know," he said, pulling her close.

Ignoring the urgency of the moment, Abby rested her head against his chest, feeling soothed by the rhythmic beating of his heart. She felt John's head come to rest on top of hers and her eyes drifted shut. They stayed like that for a few moments until Sesame Street shattered the peace once more. "Crap!" he exclaimed, yanking the phone out of his pocket once more. "We're on our way!" he yelled, then snapped the phone shut before anything else could be said. He grabbed Abby's hand, unlocked the door, flipped the switch and pulled her out into the hallway.

An instant later, they were running down the hallway, pounding down the stairs, then repeating the process once they got to the second floor. Once they reached the main level, he pulled her down the back hallway that wrapped around the kitchen to the second staircase that led down in the basement, where his party was taking place. They burst into the crowd, panting heavily. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice.

He pulled out his cellphone to check the time. "Two minutes left. We're good."

She grinned at him, then asked, "Do you see Susan?"

He scanned the crowd for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. She's over there with...Mark Greene?"

"Really? He's here? That's great!"

"It is?"

"Of course it is! She really likes him," she said, pulling him through the crowd to their friend.

"She does? Since when?"

He received no answer because at that moment, Susan met them halfway, Mark in tow. "'Bout time you got here!" she exclaimed, giving Abby a hug. "I'm assuming we'll talk later?" she whispered into her friend's ear. With Abby's answering nod, they released each other, and Susan's eyebrowed arched mischievously. "Nice shirt, by the way."

Abby looked down her front and noticed that her buttons were definitely askew. She just grinned and shrugged. She saw Susan open her mouth to say something, but was cut off by someone in the crowd yelling that there were ten seconds left of the old year.

The friends joined in the countdown, yelling at the tops of their voices. Abby cast a glance up at John, only to see him gazing back at her, a content look upon his face. As soon as the crowed yelled out, "One!" Abby reached up for him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he put his arms around her waist. Knowing it was futile, she said, "Happy New Year."

He smiled in response, then leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers once more. They managed to ignore the crowd around them for a few moments, the noise fading into the background, and just enjoyed being with each other. Once they came up for air, John leaned into her, and she shuddered as she felt him whisper in her ear. "Here's to you and me, Abby."

She tightened her grip on him and whispered back, "Here's to us."

"I love you," they whispered together, kissing once more.

* * *

So, who's your daddy? Huh? Who's your daddy! Look at me, delivering two long-ass chapters back to back. You know you love it.

Endless love to Courtney, my partner in crime (and smut)--that Pulitzer will be ours! She likes to smack me back to reality. But that's okay, because I need it. A lot. And despite what she thinks, she's good at dialogue. She deserves more credit than I can give her. Lots of hugs and kisses.

Yeah, so that's all I've got for right now. Enjoy yourselves. And remember, feedback is food for the writer's soul. I've been good to you, so be good to me. That's right, I'm not above begging. Plus, it makes me feel good about myself.


	17. Chapter 15

Abby tilted her head and squinted her eyes, scrutinizing the garment in her hand for a few moments before rejecting it as unsuitable and placing it back on the rack, completely oblivious to the slack-jawed expression on Susan's face.

"Excuse me?!" Susan finally shrieked.

"You want to keep your voice down?" Abby asked, sending reassuring smiles to other customers around them who were giving them odd looks. "And way to have a delayed reaction, Sus."

"But…but…you just…do you realize what you just said?"

Abby shrugged nonchalantly and moved onto another rack of clothing. "Of course I realize it. I said it, didn't it?"

Susan's jaw fell open once more, this time at her friend's casual manner. She hurried over to the other girl and grabbed her arm, pulling her ear close to her own mouth. "Then would you care to repeat it, just so I can make sure that I heard you properly?"

Abby tried her hardest to bite back her grin. She'd figured that Susan would give her a good reaction, and she didn't disappoint. She continued to examine the formal dresses in front of her, almost as if her life depended on it, and said in the most casual manner she could muster, "John and I are going to have sex after the prom."

"Yeah, you said what I thought you said." Susan blinked, trying to get her bearings. "This is huge! I mean…huge!"

"Susan Lewis at a loss for words; I never thought I'd see the day," Abby teased.

"Well, come on. You've gotta admit that this sure as hell ain't small."

Abby snickered and grinned lasciviously. "No, it sure isn't."

"Oh, ew! Come on! I mean, it's one thing to know that you and John are going to have--"

"Shh!" Abby frantically threw her hand over Susan's mouth and silenced her. "I don't exactly want it advertised, dude."

"Sorry," she said, once her mouth had been uncovered, though she didn't look at all fazed. "But he's still kinda brother-like in my mind, ya know? I can't picture him as a sexual being, so I don't want any intimate details about his plumbing."

"Then riddle me this, Batman; how am I gonna tell you all about it the next day if you don't want any details?"

Susan seemed to genuinely ponder this for a few moments before shuddering. "Well, it's still a couple of months of months away, so I suppose I'll have time to bone up beforehand."

Abby snickered once more, then bit her lip.

Susan looked her friend warily. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"You said 'bone.'"

"Yes, folks—Abigail Wyczenski's mind is thoroughly entrenched in the gutter."

"Well, considering the topic we were just discussing…"

"Fine, fine, touché. Let's just move on from that part of the topic, shall we?"

"How 'bout this? You tell me what parts of this topic you're okay with discussing and we'll hit those."

Susan gave Abby the best haughty look she had in her repertoire. "I don't see how sarcasm is necessary."

"It's not supposed to be sarcastic…well, not _completely_ sarcastic, at any rate. But I will concede that this is probably a very strange position for you to be in, so I will spare you the details until you think you can be okay with hearing them. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," Susan agreed, then remained silent.

Abby kept quiet for a full minute before she exclaimed, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Um, the topics you feel you can discuss?"

"What, you think I can just figure that kind of thing out in a matter of moments?"

Abby sighed in frustration. "Must you be so difficult?"

Susan wrapped her arm around Abby's shoulders. "Abby, Abby, Abby…would you really want me any other way?"

"You want a truthful answer?"

Susan chuckled. "At this point? No, can't say as I do. Just steer clear of mentioning John naked and everything should be all right. Actually, if you could maybe keep mentions of his name down to a minimum that would help a lot, too."

Abby gave her an incredulous look. "You want me to _not _mention my boyfriend's name when I'm talking about him?"

"I didn't say it would make sense. But it might help me get past it if I hear a lot of 'he's' and 'him's', and believe me when I say I want you to be able to talk to me about this. It's kind of a big deal."

"So you said."

"So let's just start from the top, okay? I mean, I just can't believe that the two of you have been back together for less than a month and you've already made this monumental decision."

Abby shuffled her feet and gave Susan a sheepish look.

"What?"

"Okay, well, first of all, it's not like we've only known each other for a month of something. We've known each other for almost a year and a half—it'll be nearly two years by the time the prom rolls around—so it's not like we're just jumping into this. Second of all, we really do love each other. I know that with a certainty I've never known anything else--"

"Well, that part I believe completely."

"Thirdly, we decided on a date so that when we're alone together, as rare as that is, we can relax a little and not try to do as much as we can as fast as we can. But last of all…well…we actually figured out the whole prom night thing on New Year's Eve."

Susan's eyebrows jumped to her hairline. "WHAT?!"

Abby cringed at Susan's volume and reaction. "You've got to stop doing that."

"You've known for almost a month exactly when this whole thing is going down—if you'll pardon the expression," Susan threw in at the raised eyebrow and look on Abby's face, realizing that her friend's mind was still in the gutter, "and I'm just hearing about it NOW?"

"You know," Abby said, looking around the store and seeing a sea of irritated faces glaring back at her, "I think now isn't the best time to be looking for prom dresses. People keep staring at us, and one more outburst from you will have us banned from the store for the duration of prom season."

"Blame me all you want, but _you're_ the one who keeps dropping these bombshells on me in the middle of the mall. You had to have known that I was going to have a few outbursts."

"Well, can you at least try to keep your outbursts down to a whisper?"

"Can you try to not make anymore earth-shattering revelations for the rest of the day?"

"Ah, I see your point," Abby conceded. "I think I'm all tapped out, as far as revelations go, anyway."

"In that case, can I ask you a question?"

"I think, given the circumstances, that's only fair."

"Why _am_ I only hearing about this now? For real, I mean."

Abby shrugged helplessly and sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how to bring it up. I'm excited about the whole thing, but it just doesn't come up in casual conversation, you know?"

Susan couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Well, the conversation we had about your and John's reunion wasn't exactly classified as 'casual'."

"Maybe not, but we'd been back together for less than a day when I told you about it, so it was all very surreal and, if you'll forgive me, dream-like. And I was a lot more focused on being with John again than anything else. After that, it just felt kind of awkward bringing it up. There's also the fact that while the three of us have spent plenty of time together lately, _we_ haven't had a lot of one-on-one time. This just didn't seem like a topic you'd be comfortable discussing with John around. Am I right?"

"That is so very true."

"So, I waited. And I didn't know when it'd be a good time to bring it up, but shopping for prom dresses seemed like a good a time as any."

"I can live with that."

"So, I'm forgiven?"

"Dude, there's nothing to forgive." With that, Susan pulled Abby into a quick hug. "Now," she said, smiling mischievously, "our task is to find you the perfect 'come hither' dress."

"Do you really think I need one of those? I mean, it's kind of a sure thing."

"Just because you're easy, doesn't mean you can't look sexy. What—you want to show up in ruffles and lace?"

"Easy?! Excuse me?" Abby squeaked.

"Hey, you're the one that said you're a sure thing. Don't get all uppity with me, missy."

"I don't know why I bother with you."

"Probably because no one else would put up with _you_, dearest. Now, here," Susan said, shoving a few dresses into Abby's arms, "let's go try these on and see which one looks the most scandalous."

"Oh, hell no. Not after that easy remark. Besides, I've seen this movie. We go into the dressing room and start talking about prom night and John and have a great time giggling about which dress I'm going to be wearing the last night I'm a virgin, and all the while, John's grandmother is in the stall next to us."

"There's just one problem with that, Abs."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"This is real life, not a movie."

Abby let out a derisive snort. "That's what you think. But you know that kind of thing would happen to me. The one time Millicent Carter decides to go to a department store in the local mall would coincide with me trying to find a prom dress."

"I suppose you do make a very small point. But, speaking of the Carter family, why _is_ it that you're shopping for a prom dress in the local mall. I'd have thought someone would have coughed up a credit card for you so you could go to some swanky boutique on Michigan Avenue or something."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, John did offer something of that ilk. He seemed to have no problem offering his family's ample supply of money to me." Abby batted her eyes and smile beatifically. "It's one of the perks of having a boyfriend who's loaded. But I somehow couldn't see myself abusing the Carter family generosity at this point in time. Something about using their money to buy a prom dress when I know their grandson is going to be deflowering me that night just seems kinda…hooker-esque."

"Wow…I cannot believe you just said deflower."

"Oh, I said it, and I'll say it again. I mean, as happy an ending as _Pretty Woman_ had, I don't like the parallels of someone buying me clothing and then having sex with that person. Perhaps, next year, after we've had sex so many times we've lost count, I'll let him buy me a prom dress. Right now, it just feels icky."

Looking ever so queasy, Susan said, "Speaking of icky, I think I've stomached about as much sex talk as I can for the moment."

"All right, all right, I can respect that. We'll let it go for now."

"So, are you gonna try these dresses on or not?"

"Or not, actually. We have to meet up with the love muffin in a few minutes."

"Aaaaabbeeeee!" Susan whined.

"I'm sorry; I just couldn't help it. But seriously, we have to go catch up with him."

"Do we really? 'Cause I don't know if I can look at him right now."

"Well, we don't have to if you don't want to. But it's a long walk from here back to your house, and since John's our ride…"

"Point taken," Susan concurred, reracking the dresses. "Can you just promise me you'll behave for a little while? At least until I can get my bearings."

"Well, I'll be good," Abby answered, strolling out of the store, "but I can't promise John's behavior. I mean, the guy is insatiable."

"Abby!" Susan shrieked, covering her ears and closing her eyes, trying to block out her friend's voice. "I can't hear you! LALALALA!"

Abby just started to laugh and grabbed Susan's arm, pulling her out of the store before they could be escorted out.

* * *

I am SO sorry that it took me two years. Writer's block doesn't leave on command, though (and believe me when I say I tried—I used my scariest voice and everything). So, to all of you wonderful people who have stuck with me through all these years (and YIKES to that whole years thing), THANK YOU SO MUCH. Your support means the world to me. I hope this chapter meets your approval. I also hope to not wait another two years before posting again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my creative juices will be flowing to some degree for a while, so maybe I can manage to be productive. Thank you all for your patience! 

In particular, I want to thank C-dawg—no particular reason this time around, but just a general thanks for reading my stuff and being my friend all this time. It's really quite impressive, considering our main connection is the internet. I also want to thank Sarah F for her kind words and support; she helped me more than she'll realize, so I want everyone to give her a big thanks as well.

One more thing--for those of you who aren't familiar with that area, Michigan Avenue is in Chicago, and it's often called the Million Dollar Mile. It's beautiful and it has all sorts of fancy and expensive stores. So, if there are any Chicago natives out there who can help me out with a better description, I would much appreciate it!


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